People: R

April 15, 2025 · Original source

Tuesday, April 8 I had too many yuca fries before the beef stew dinner last night and so I wasn’t too hungry, went to bed early, didn't sleep a wink and now it's dawn. We eat dinner at Ritual most nights in Malpais. Ritual is the cafe that David’s friend's girlfriend owns. It is full of wonderful things like a tart made of avocados and cashews and coconut oil, or espresso mixed with orange juice, or, last night was stew from the meat we grilled over the weekend, and last night the restaurant was closed, just accessible for us, I went to bed too early. Fog at sunrise today. I pack up and I tiptoe out of the hotel. David finds me by the horses in the morning dew making scratch marks on paper. I tell him that I don't take any of it for granted, and I mean it when I say it. I get in a taxi, and then I am by myself again. At the airport, I am too tired to even be on edge. I text Sylvie and Rebecca about the project idea that is sure to be a hit. Do you want to be a part of [new hit project] I say. Yes, they both say. At the airport, I kind of want to go slump over in a booth, and so I go and sit inside an awful place called GastroPub and I order one of those awful salads with the canned black olives and the dried mushrooms and cranberries and shaved almonds and some generic seed oil filled dressing, you know the type. I order a black coffee, too. The seed oil dressing on the side comes dangerously close to sloshing all over my coffee. I pick the chicken out of my salad with some care and eat only that, while the rest of the whole soggy heap of food kind of collapses in on itself. I spend twenty one dollars. Then, I spend nineteen dollars on some coffee and electrolytes and macaroons from Starbucks. I make sure to time my macaron consumption to end at twelve noon exactly, and then I set a timer for 36 Hours. A Monk Fast. This is the sort of thing that can be done when one is at the airport feeling bogged down. Obviously, I am not actually going to join a cult. It's mostly just aesthetic fixation. Style over substance. The real issue intellectually is if you can't truly distinguish yourself from something like the plastic tray on the plane in front of you. I haven't even really tried too hard to find a God. I'm sorry. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, April 15 From 8pm - late at (RSVP for location) — Terms Eccles is throwing another tax day party!! - “talking broadly about money and art and downtown and midtown, all at once. the only thing that will make tax day worth celebrating.”

Inline links: Terms Eccles

Panopticon-ing Everyone

May 13, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Thursday, May 8 I've been panopticon-ing everyone here, and you have asked me to stop. Ok. I'm sorry I have already told about what happened on Wednesday. Not here. Imagine it's all fantasy. I mean it when I say that I am really not talking about myself. Being all confessional and then I feel kind of gross about it. Being kind of glib about the parts I thought were most sincere. I've been neglectful, most of all. Right now, I am most sorry about that. In the end, you'll be lying on a Japanese floor mattress and you'll be thinking about the parts that are still the same. Tonight, I went to the party that I usually avoid. I went home before the parts that come next. Another flight tomorrow, and I wish there wasn't more travel though, I am glad for where we are going. An old school hotel, Sue Wong beaded dress, borrowed shoes and sharing the different details of my life like oh it's been all grad school and true love and self surveillance - this part will be nice. My friend suggests at dinner - I don't have insomnia, I live in an environment of psychological torture sleep depravation. I could latch onto this. Psychological torture. My friend says - New York vs LA; you can find nuance in uglier things here and she cites me as the example of nuance as if I am something like resilient or tough. I have never been described as either of these things before, and I hope I haven't been plying myself in victimhood too heavily, because really - my circumstances are wonderful. It is a sweet description, though. I'm glad I'm not a fraud, at least. Lots of parties this week and those were nice while they lasted. You can't be indignant without clarity, which - I am working on having more of. I set up the summer so as to have the days stretching endlessly in front of me. This concerns me a bit. I will need to read for two hours every morning. There is a novel forming mostly beneath my writing here, and I will need to finish that. All at once it's like everyone has drawn the same conclusions about good and evil. Everyone was all like this is so good, and then everyone snapped at once and it was like: this is evil. I have briefly wondered where this change would map out cosmically, though, I have tried to be a mystic about it, and my basic impulses revolt. I was culling chapters from my Secret Diary a while back. Here, I was saying. Time stamp it in Google Docs and you know I meant this before I even knew I would need to show you it was true someday. None of it was really so long ago. So, I wonder, for example - what July will be like? I wonder about June. You could be a bartender or a DJ. Sounds like something someone who has lost their intuition would say. I'm talking in hypotheticals because I mean it when I say that I am not, really, talking about myself. Friday, May 9 Rebecca and I sat at Bar Belly in the rain for a while last night. Shannon made me cauliflower rice and avocado for lunch. I did circle around to my boyfriend's culty and evil type hang later in the night. There was chicken from the street, there. Rebecca will stay at our place while we're gone. She stayed at ours for a while last night. Everyone went to KGB, later, but I am being more regulated about it. Making pasta at nine am because I was up all night in spite of new efforts. Pouring rain and then we're driving towards Laguardia. In retrospect, I still do not think I was being dramatic about things, but it feels distant and small now. Short term memory maybe, or, the present is often quite extreme and so; wherever I am, it absorbs me. I like his brown leather bag, cufflinks, it's been to and fro this airport all spring which serves to dividend the chaos a bit. Anyways, everything is fine. I have a life in New York that I will still feel so lucky to return to. "You guys are in love!" a girl in micro-shorts told us at the party last night. "How long have you been in love for?" "Almost two years," he said. This is the pragmatic answer and also this is true. The girl beamed. "I've been in love for ten days," she said. I need to hold things closer to my chest. Not here - I am obfuscated enough about it here, so it's hard to do much damage. It's different in the real world. I say things that I know to be true, but I say them before I really understand what they mean. I am more protective of the things that are good, and I am quick to give away all that is bad. This is not how a person should be. Happy Mother's Day, the light and water show at the airport is saying. Elderly couple to my left devouring fried chicken. I feel incredibly ill, come to think of it, but some of this stays sweet. Darling darling darling, he keeps telling me. Are you ready to fly in a plane in the sky? Artificial Intelligence will come to destroy the earth and you will be like twenty-five years old and on your phone and talking badly about your friends behind their back and forgetting to call your family and drinking to disgust. Artificial Intelligence will come to destroy the world and you will call your sister, call your mom, lie under the open window with your boyfriend. You will be making up stories and praying over a glass of sparkling water. You will be listening to music and sound and language from real life. You will picture a relic of yourself still human, and you will be pleased. Saturday, May 10 I have decided to return to Photos. It is funny how these things work. I felt quite repulsed by images for a moment, but even just a few days of speaking out loud how much the equilibrium has been missing and how much now, it is time to get it back - I said this out loud along with other things, and now I can face the physical form again. And so much of the physical form is so pretty. I do like when things are ethereal and kind of between realms - it is why I have always liked to be very thin, although I’m pretty Normal in Body these days - and this is the most boring of boring things to discuss, anyways. My tendency is to archive and hoard. It is comically wrong to suggest that I seek to leave behind no trace. My point is, for a while now, I could not bear the traces. Something has shifted. There is a gold framed photo of a palm tree across from the bed in this hotel, and it’s the kind that is old school not tacky. Everything is art deco here. The ceilings at the bar are ten stories high, he told me, before dinner. There was salad and a cosmopolitan and such nice conversation and, I do always get whisked away when the time is right. I’m feeling pretty even keeled. If April happened again, it wouldn’t happen like this. The day has been so good so far. The hotel is old, classic, and art deco. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, May 13 Doors at 7pm, reading at 8pm at TJ Byrnes — Bronwen Lam & David Dufour present Patio, an evening of reading. This rendition features Martina Mendoza, Mark Iosifescu, Myles Zavelo, Stephanie Wambugu, Babak Lakghomi, and Steve Anwyll.

Inline links: TJ Byrnes, Bronwen Lam, David Dufour, Patio

generative and godly secrets

May 21, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, May 12 At the Holiday Inn, there are Yakisoda noodles and banana cream pie snack pack jellos and krabby patties gummy candies and lances cream cheese and onion dip crackers. All the most disgusting snacks imaginable, and kind of perverted, too. I’m so particular and annoying with my sleeping issues that I always find myself at depressing hotels, even when there is a wonderful home down the road where I am welcome. I need a Big Bed and Isolation. I need Temperature Control. As a child, I liked things such as camping in birch forests and cramped little stone cottages in some village where my parents would find someone on the Internet to swap houses with. Unfortunately, I grew up into someone with severe and undiagnosable sleep disorders, and a taste for adventure that is rooted more in hedonism and less in fresh air. I feel really full and sleepy heading back to New York. Well, things are better than they were. Total nightmare policy. Total, blow up your life brother, policy. I was so addicted to writing in my google docs journal this weekend and now I have a lot of annoying slop to show for it. I call my dad in the sun outside the Starbucks in a Strip Mall. Stop thinking about things in such eternal terms, they tell me. You wouldn’t get in a car crash and say When Can I Go 100 Again, they remind me. Fiction, again - they are talking about somebody else. The idea of compromise no longer makes your blood boil. It’s an unsavory trait that it ever did in the first place. "The other alternative is that I just become a nightmare and you become perfect," I told him. "That is certainly an alternative," he told me. It is 11:30pm, and I am thinking about getting a job. I am thinking about the Current Body Red Light Mask and the Ayede heels from ssense.com. "What if I hadn’t simply crashed out," he said. "There would have been pros and cons to that," I said. There is a fire alarm and mauve curtains and two weird arched doorways because we booked a suite and so the architecture suggests some simulacra of something vaguely Roman. Marble. Plaster cut to look like marble. I go to buy water and they have turned off the creepy lights at the creepy pool. Tuesday, May 13 I was feeling really terrified, if I’m being honest about it. I was sitting on the sidewalk picking at my nails and drinking hot coffee in the hot sun, eight splenda, curdled almond milk. I was voicing concerns in a high pitched voice and I was losing track of the distinguishment between ideas imagined and conversations regurgitated. God forbid I have an original thought of my own - that part wasn't even on the table. It isn’t so dark and depressing anymore. Walk in the rain and everything is so green here. I’ll be back in the city tonight and there are better omens in the astrology these days around things like planes, the return, glass apartments in the sky. He leaves my keys on the bedside table at the hotel, and he’s still asleep when I pack up my things and leave to eat black coffee, turkey deli meat, garlic aioli, marcona almonds. We drive to his parent’s house and he gives me drumstick vanilla ice cream. Working on this laptop, surrounded by all this green. You know that every time you hit this vape it coats your lungs in sweet thick paste, I am telling him, as I hit his vape. The last time I wrote about hitting a vape I received an infuriating pseudo intellectual email about the verbiage "hit" as suggesting a sado-masochistic impulse in our digital age. "I wonder if soon, you'll be saying you 'Beat' or 'Pummeled' your vape?" the idiot email writer wrote. The email made me so mad. You're so stupid, I wanted to write back. We go for a walk in the bright green forest. There is a sweetness here. A coming-back-into-control that makes the out-of-control-ness feel so distant. Escape from Evil and two days later you mistake reprieve for salvation. Unless, you are not mistaken. It really could be that simple. What was it they were saying on The Internet? Break The Pattern Today Or The Loop Will Repeat Tomorrow. What was it I've been saying online? Edit Artificial Intelligence robot voice over text to speech words - "Taking My Party Boy Boyfriend On A Walking Tour Of The Cotswolds." I clarify that I've been defending his honor. We're crushing up the plastic water cups, and the hill is steep up the road. I clarify that there are people of extremes. It was very bad, but now it is very good, I am texting my mother. Honestly, I'm so sick of clarifying anything at all. You're a little more sober with it. You're a little more gentle about it. It transformed in two days. Imagine two weeks. Imagine a year. Imagine rushing even one second. I can control my consciousness. Though, it isn't my consciousness, really, that I've been concerned about. I'm glad we share a frame of mind. This plane is basically empty. Wednesday, May 14 We went to KGB late last night. Thursday, May 15 The woman who does yoga on her fire escape is out there with a cigarette, today. I’m not in a bad mood today. The apartment is a mess and I am concerned about my past. Things become steady, and then even bright. Friday, May 16 Well, I didn't write because I have been busy in real life. I've been imagining an identity rooted in delusions in the secret diary that stays offline. It is not so delusional. I am feeling so sincere. Rebecca is here. My sister is here. We went to KGB Bar and Fanelli Cafe and Funny Bar where we met a Gagosian guy turned AI guy, which I guess has kind of been my career arch too though I am not so pleased about that direction. We went to the party at Bowery where the waiter from Fanelli Cafe was the DJ and I had two vodka sodas then soda water with lime which might be all I do soon, though I keep on having all these cyclical conversations with myself about these things - consumption and gluttony - and there is little that more dull, so I will not bring it up again. I went to the sleep specialist and she giggled when I said I don't scream in my sleep if I am in the company of strangers. That's different but great, she said. Do I control my subconscious, I said. Stupid idiot, she said. I did actually go to all these parties, and I did call him from the bathroom. He'll be back in New York soon, making film and code and learning banjo. It's way better than the alternative, and I do feel very proud this week which is something I have not been able to say in a good long while. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Wednesday, May 21 From 7pm - 8:30pm at The Flea Theater (20 Thomas St) — I’ll be seeing Revolution: The Play. Sophia Englesberg is associate producer, and everything she touches is wonderful. Written and produced by Brett Neveu, directed by Rebecca Harris. The theater is next to The Odeon, so you can get my favorite martini before or after the show. - “Who celebrates their 26th birthday in the alley outside of her hairdressing place o’ work? Revolution interrogates and celebrates the very nature of creating community and building friendships in our ever-evolving, ever disconnecting world.”

Inline links: Revolution: The Play, Sophia Englesberg, The Odeon

From 7pm - 8:30pm at The Flea Theater (20 Thomas St) — I’ll be seeing Revolution: The Play. Sophia Englesberg is associate producer, and everything she touches is wonderful. Written and produced by Brett Neveu, directed by Rebecca Harris. The theater is next to The Odeon, so you can get my favorite martini before or after the show. - “Who celebrates their 26th birthday in the alley outside of her hairdressing place o’ work? Revolution interrogates and celebrates the very nature of creating community and building friendships in our ever-evolving, ever disconnecting world.”

Inline links: Revolution: The Play, Sophia Englesberg, The Odeon

May 27, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Sunday, May 18 On the first day of My New Life, I walk to the film shop, pour old windowsill tea down the drain, come to consciousness in the Infrared Sauna at Spa88. In the Russian Spa Cafe, you drink carrot juice in a bikini because Rebecca taught you what Fiber is yesterday, and now you are sure to get your fill. There is lox and seaweed and brown bread. There is a Caesar salad later, at Fairfax in The West Village, and they don't actually harvest your personality at the door. I journal a lot, I told my friend. I journaled the whole train ride in my mind, she said. I journal in Google Docs, I said. I don't know why I decided to say it like that. Like manic transcription of thought until it becomes more vibe than writing at all is some sort of one-up over mental assessment and determination. I have not been trying to one-up at all. I've been trying to be so honest about it, and I guess the concern remains that the truth will all surface and the roots will turn topsy turvy and inside out and then you’ll see that untangled, it was all kind of just midwit and ugly. I wrote about nihilism and absurdism and Samuel Beckett, but the piece turned out so simpleton that it makes me kind of queasy to return to. I wrote about the magazine release party on the roof where I felt kind of wobbly in this halter top dress tied way too tight. Then we walked to Casetta and I had wine and fish floating in tin and oil and then I lay here for a while when I got home. I lay very very still and when I twitched then rose again, there were packages at the door, a taxi cab and a friend on foot and his airtrain en route heading towards the apartment. I was standing in socks and hovering in the building's communal mudroom when he got home. Things are nice. I was talking not too quietly about all of it in the Spa 88 Wall Street Russian Baths Hot Tub. The most liminal space in New York with smooth warm aqua water and yellow kind of burnt light and chipped paint no windows. Dorito bags with Hebrew packaging usually stacked in the restaurant, today abandoned half eaten on the table by me. I could tell the fat guys in speedos were lingering sweaty just to listen, but I was doing no sort of performance for them. On the train, the girl on the phone kept glancing around to make sure others were listening. I felt sad for her. At the Spa88, I said my story all matter of fact in the hot tub and my Aunt said well, you really have your hands full and the fat guys looked away kind of bashful, and it was only then that I realized they were listening. You can disassociate away the concept of public space, too. Spilled coffee and voice echoing in this pool room with no windows so it becomes like time isn’t passing at all. I wasn’t talking to myself, but communication reverberates, and I was drifting all unaware of perception. Then I was in the cold plunge, in the infrared sauna which really does something nice to the fascia (the part that matters when it comes to things like Wim Hof and Heating Up and Cooling Down.) After the infrared, I began to gain awareness of my surroundings and movements and recollections of the sound of my own voice and things like the coffee my stray limbs sent flying off the shelf at Mille Feuille this morning and then I was there saying OMG Sorry and floating napkins towards the ground but also kind of just standing and blinking like some kind of dud. You wake up alone but there are people on the way. People already late. Keys and company and you are texting with an intensity that borders vitriol. The vitriol is what he’ll point out later. Before that, he is at the door and you are so happy to greet and be greeted. There is spilled coffee and Equinox Gym and Spa88 and Iced Tea, Sparkling Ice Soda, Cool Mint Zyns. I woke up and I waited around and I trapezed over to Equinox Gym and when I got upset later because told me he did not care about my story; it was then that he clarified he did not so much mean he did not care but more so that the story was full of vitriol. And so perhaps he was just feeling full of love and life. You can't get all rageful over something like that. I'm sorry I forget sometimes that you are not resilient, he said. My blood didn't boil. I went for a walk. You forget that all of this exists all the time, Natasha and I were saying by the Hudson River. In my glass apartment in the sky, I was alone for a while but now I am not. There is an Arabian rug and a Marble table that I hope someone will take off my hands for free. There is a CurrentBody LED mask and cocoa nibs and nothing in the fridge but the butter that I replaced with the wrong brand. I feel uncomfortable when I speak like this - about these little things that compose a life. Like I'm painting a picture in the details of routine, but there has been no routine. There have been a few false starts, and then now, a real one. I am conjuring an image of a morning with an empty fridge and an Arabian rug and the kind of person who reaches for different serums at different hours. If anything, we’ve been dealing more in potion than serums. But every potion certainly has its godforsaken limit, and so now - there is something else. Monday, May 19 I will take the rest of my youth as it is. He turns on the air conditioner for me and leaves to drink Non Alcoholic Beers while I stay put and read the Diaries of Girls Online. I walk ten miles and I do not really believe his friends who say there are worms at the Russian Spa. This is how rumors spread, I tell him. You are Married To The Truth, I tell myself. In the morning, there is light through my greenhouse roof and to start; I am the only one awake. It feels like this; I had one of the best weeks ever last week, where everything came rushing back into being as it should be and I was certain it would stay like this forever. Then there was sudden chaos on the phone, chaos on the train, serenity at Spa88 and then I was calling my mom muttering sentiments I knew she would find vaguely offensive, stomping around the financial district saying bad words like a child intent on proving herself lovable even if insufferable. He said it wasn't that I was so uninteresting, more that my story was bizarre, not really a story at all, full of vitriol. Everyone was running along the Hudson River and I had two or three diet cokes with dinner and I was up not all night but close. It goes like this: in the morning there is energy and a package thief filling a suitcase up with my boxes of celsius and fiber powder and whitening strips and dental floss. I crouch above him on the stairway and I scream HEY. He screams back HEY and so I let him have it. I turn on my heels and I run up the stairs. My favorite things are leaving the house in the morning and not coming back till late night, cool mint zyns, blackberry dr. pepper, turkey cold cuts with truffle mustard eaten in a kind of self-punishing way. I lie on the roof in my boyfriend's Adidas track shorts and a black tank top that I stole from the gymnastics locker room in highschool. The thing about New York is there is immense competition to be skinny, beautiful, successful, rich all in circumstances that are entirely unconducive to all these things, my friend is telling me on the phone. Circumstances like the package thief and your metabolism doesn’t even get a boost from the sun and also there are hard drugs and alcohol. I don’t feel above all of that, but I do feel distant from it now and so I suppose, with some plausible humility, this adds up to kind of the same thing. I wish I was a gentle person. I feel lazy today, but this is not the same thing. Tuesday, May 20 Last night, we went to Lucky's for dinner and I had something with tequila and Saint Germaine straight up and he had more non-alcoholic beer. Then, they brought us mountains of shoestring onion rings and a big wedge salad and it was good for a while, until I started to feel sick. I went to the bathroom to play on my phone while the scent of grease dissipated. The drinks were crisp and they brought the shaker right to our table. Lucky's was like a steakhouse, but with a smaller interior than your average We went to Matthew's house after, to sit in his barren family room while he hacked up a lung. I rolled up my Zara blazer that I stole from Paul's Casablanca lost and found after someone stole my blazer first and also back when I was an alcoholic. I curled up under my blazer on Matthew's tiny couch while Matthew and my boyfriend talked in code and made rankings of all their friends. Matthew's apartment was pretty empty except for a whiteboard with a list of girls he likes and a Chinese new year banner and a huge pile of hats that said I'M IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA. “Jesus, she is combative. you're right, she's so combative,” Matthew told my boyfriend, talking about me. "It's possible that Canne after dark was something that happened in the daytime," he said. "she'll get mad if I ask her why she won't play anagrams," he said. "The activation triggers a chain of events leading to increased dopamine release," he said. Sometimes, when I am with my boyfriend's friends I feel like I am in a video game, or maybe in an orphanage. You don't want to be someone who is contorting your face and yelling. It is morning now. I don't really know what happened there. Being at these parties more sober is strange, because there is nothing else but me and yet I still don't really understand. I am listening to sweet and gentle music, and I feel a total surrender. S - i do feel bad i was not so gentle and kind about this. i get myself trip wired and lose it. but it is always better to be gentle and kind and i understand new york can kill the soul and there is something beautiful in a peaceful house alone and that is why you left which is innocent and pure and it's not fair to be rageful to you for that. Wednesday, May 21 There were two cigarettes and two glasses of wine at Voile de Nuit. This becomes some sort of Diary of Consumption. I met Ellie at a tall house on a wooded street in the West Village where she works on things pertaining to design and then we spent the hours in the courtyard of Voile de Nuit, which I adore because it’s reminiscent of Summer and Reality. I behaved badly the last time I was here. My boyfriend comes by to drop off fries. We run into friends at Caffe Reggio and it's raining by the time we reach home. My boyfriend says: Spreading secrets is entropic Keeping your mouth shut is static Spreading misinformation is generative and godly I do think he is mostly kidding. It's Simone Weil who says about rage - “To be able to hurt others with impunity—for instance to pass our anger on to an inferior who is obliged to be silent—is to spare ourselves from an expenditure of energy, an expenditure which the other person will have to make.” And I wonder which character I am in this story and it's not always the good one. I was thinking about all of that in the novel. That and the self surveillance of it all. Unfortunately, my thought experiments are ruining my life and also, the novel is ending up being All About Me LOL, too. The play tonight (Revolution at Flea Theatre ) is nice, because I walk through the rain to get there and smoke cigarettes outside The Odeon after, and because its depiction is of genuine weirdos, not like Quirked Up, not like the girls my friend texts me about after the party, “have you met them? so spacey!” not like, becoming strange because of course there is some desire to conjure up some personality and if you’re pretty then it’s fine and even appealing to be off-putting. The play is like grocery store clerk alcoholic, gun in the purse grocery store clerk alcoholic, therapy speak coping mechanisms like count up then down then up and it’s employed in the play as the coping mechanism not as an ironic tactic. Drinking beers on a birthday in the back alley and the play is disaffected from glamor in a way that I’m realizing not many things are. Like even most depictions of poverty in a lot of media, at least media coming out of New York at least certainly media surrounding youth culture and a narrative surrounding a party, goes like; we have nothing but we’re slippery adjacent to everything as a result of our charm and good looks and happenstance. The play is like, leftover charcuterie from her husband’s weird mega church and splurging at the liquor store and old cocaine shoved into a bowling ball but there’s an innocence and almost childlike wonderment to the way they tackle the expired drug situation, and the play is not about drugs. There’s a genuine kind of earnest stiltedness to the conversation that lends itself to sincerity. Thursday, May 22 May is quivering right before me; I'm not letting it lapse like April did but there are still smokescreens, silkscreens, my fingers are sleeping right through it. The Club, last night. The Play then The Club. It was smokey and sweet. My lungs felt coated in something sour by the end. The smoking patio was wet with dew and I was kind of floating, not in a bad way. Not hungover, it's something way more visceral but still hazy. I could feel it all start to slip, and so I held onto myself quite tightly. My boyfriend's screen time is 102 hours a day across devices. My face is encased in sheaths of plastic that keep you young, but they're not the temu kind that's weird and freaky. The light I use is Science Backed. I'm thinking of getting into vintage workout wear. I'm thinking of getting into Vlogging. I'm thinking of getting into filling out paid surveys online for luxury perfume sellers that require you to swear your spending habits are High and you like perfume from MiuMiu and you Hate Balenciaga and what perfume means to me is; I think sometimes scents can bring up... nostalgia? I say. Do you own a Prada dress? they ask. We leave the party early - I'm sick and he buys me chicken caesar salad pizza. Aren't you glad we left early so we could dance a little at home, he says. In the living room, the windows are all a little frosted from the rain. There are lights in the neighbors windows across the courtyard but it's thursday night, the rain has stopped. You couldn't have expected everyone to just stay home, really. I notice the people in the windows if he is spinning me across the room. Exhibitionism. I catch myself in the peripheries. The windows. The back of my mind. And I never shut the blinds but that is just no Executive Function or Detail Orientation. I am not some sort of voyeur. Friday, May 23 10:45am, and they are playing some kind of staticy electric classical mashup of music from the Fedex truck outside. "Even as a grad student, I felt they were looking down on chaos," one young man at the Yemeni coffee shop is telling another. Buying: coffee and chicken quiche but none of that is for me. Buying: peanut butter perfect bar and celsius and my boyfriend's screen time is up to 316 hours since midnight since he's doing things indiscernible to me but which he clarifies are Not Fraudulent. I am trying not to write so much in the google doc diaries. It is like I have learned these diaries as a trick, and now I am addicted to it. Now, I can’t do anything else. I must release all thoughts, but to release one thought I must go through, again and again, everything else. And so I go through it all, again and again and again. The thought, and then everything else. We were going to talk more about Spirituality today, but the tripwire keeps happening - stuck on: Vanity and Careerism. I make subheadings to keep myself in check. VANITY. CAREERISM. CAREERISM: Here is where I am: I have the substack for now which is nice this is something that I suppose in some ways is a defining thing I have done but it does not feel like so much it does not feel like it culminates to anything just proof of existence, yes, but everyone has some sort of proof of existence and it is nice to write the story behind something. The story itself cannot just be the story of writing about yourself. And for a minute I was very very very sad and so that plotline became dependable, but that is no sort of thing to rely on. And this is why it cannot all just be the writing of the self. It hasn’t been. [redacted] felt like something different, investigation, beginning middle end, it was not just here I am, it was like a puzzle it was like being very precise with it and it was the biggest thing I have done so far and I sat with it for such a long time. And perhaps I am being dramatic because there are other projects I could start in the meantime but I can’t sit down and make myself think oh what would be an interesting and pithy thing to talk about for somewhere glossy, I cannot do it. I think about doing it and my stomach rises into my throat with how little I care. And so it has to be a story that bursts out of me. There was one, and I can tell there is almost something else too but it’s like David said yes, it’s difficult while you are in the waiting room. Since beginning writing this, my fever got higher, and we are hanging the Bacchus masks around the apartment plus yellow golden softlight and, now I feel more peaceful about it. I wasn’t having so much humility. Nevermind. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, May 27 From 6pm (show at 7pm) at Baby’s All Right — Baby’s Presents a benefit concert for the Immigrant Defense Project with Palehound, The Ophelias, and Grumpy. Dj set by WeTakeManhattan. - “All proceeds from the show will go towards supporting the IDP’s 20+ year mission of fighting for the rights of immigrants targeted for imprisonment and mass deportation via advocacy, litigation, legal advice and training, community defense, grassroots alliances, and strategic communications.” | GA (18+) $38.86, Ticket and Bonus Donation $49.69

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RaEX!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7945ab16-c051-4062-8d64-a0fd574c3968_1106x420.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rmSM!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8f3b744-fe77-4a40-b032-304d78f13ff1_428x548.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zRlU!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5106c642-5b7c-4f8f-a799-c60b10039a5d_488x486.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QlxV!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb9c5eb95-81d2-4503-852b-4bdc513730dd_698x434.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0g1m!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3da24e28-0d39-4802-abf2-53116dd83b00_308x392.png, Baby’s All Right, Palehound, The Ophelias, Grumpy, WeTakeManhattan

Do you find everything interesting? Have you ever been bored? Was your last emotion in 2015?

August 14, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, July 28 Amelia is at the apartment when I arrive, bearing cloned keys and summer dresses. It is not a relief to return, I am afraid. Tiptoe across dusty slanted floors and this sense of oddity and dread creeps back no matter how quiet I am about it. There are planes overhead and I have loved all this glass before, but I am clenching my eyes shut now; wishing for drapes that close. Earlier, the flight from London was delayed hours upon hours and things went awry the moment I was left alone. Comparing notes of past present and future and then I laid my roller suitcase horizontal on the bathroom floor to take a seat and think about it. Left my passport in the airport bar where the woman beside me was making friends with every single customer cycling through aside from myself and then I sprinted over to security, where the lights were flashing all schizophrenic and neon and no one would speak. You'll miss your flight, dear, the airport attendant smiled. They opened a small door with a large electric key. They sent me to the Back Rooms. They sent me through endless identical silver doors and a mirror maze and down a long gray magic carpet. I emerged on the other side to find another magic carpet just like the first. I imagined infinite magic carpets extending in every direction. Motion activated so the feedback loop would reveal itself every time I thought I reached solid ground. I was not moving horizontal anymore. It was a vertical descent into the underbelly of Heathrow. I forgot the status of Boeing VS0137. I forgot to ever leave. I woke up in the Kids Play Center. We've lifted your curse, the airport attendant beamed. Most slides can also be used as rafts, they tell me on the plane. Cartoon villain voice playing on Virgin-Atlantic-TV and they're blasting it through the cabin speakers, too. You were an A+ travel companion, they told me in the airport. I wake up to take stock of these things: safety guidelines and praise. I fall back asleep. Tuesday, July 29 After things fell apart in June, I did not eat or sleep for four days and three nights. On the fourth night, I called the NYPD informational line quite dizzy and more out of curiosity regarding physical resilience and atrophy than out of any sincere safety concern. If you cannot sleep tonight, then you can call me in the morning, the operator said. And so I was unconscious in an instant. Put some limits on one's own neurosis. I decided to stay up late last night. It was muggy and hot outside JFK, and I missed the moors and the fog for just an instant. Then, the glass doors slid open into hot sweaty americana summer and all else was forgotten. Felt a bittersweet sort of close to home. Sat on the curb. The airtrain to the car park turned onto the highway. Felt like a road trip. Felt like team sports, two-in-the-morning, intermission. I'd been so quiet that day. I had not spoken one word since Heathrow. Everybody understood that the apartment was rotting. Great place but full of mold. Great place but full of memories both good and bad. Somebody should have thrown out the milk. Somebody should have done something about the feng shui. The dead trees. The slant of the floors. The roof, which nearly caved in last winter. Three in the morning arrival but I asked Amelia if I could come over instead, and Amelia understood it would be best to sit on her floor. Amelia had been leaning into performance art. How was your vacation, Amelia asked. Not transgressive and weird, I sighed. But rejuvenating, pleasant, precious in the sort of way I'd like to hang onto. And I am feeling physically fit from all the walking and running that went on and on and on. The heat wave has not passed in New York despite one more week dwindling into summer, and I sleep until midday around when I open my eyes and begin to feel uneasy. The lines out the stores are down the block and everyone is becoming very thin. The summer foods are things like GREENS 01 Juice and maca-powder-peanut-butter-protein-bites and very rubbery cocktail shrimp at The Smith. It is Julia who suggests The Smith for dinner and I am not picky with those sorts of things. It is me who suggests the party, despite my increasing hopes, generally, to avoid these sorts of things. Wednesday, July 30 Sitting at Banter with the Big Breakfast and hot green tea reading fairytales. It was a nice night last night. Whirling sort of thing. Nightclub101 to KGB to following a group to Ludlow House to Ripple Room. The sort of thing I like as often as possible, but really must limit to now and then. Sitting at the Australian Cafe now, using my Moldavite to mark my place in my book. The fairytales are describing relentless compassion as a form of some sort of psychological warfare. Psychosexual manipulation. Relentless compassion so as to provide one with a moral advantage, knowing it is impossible for the recipient of such compassion to reciprocate. Relentless compassion so as to cast a desperate, selfish, striving plea for reciprocation. The second option is probably more common, but it would be nice to be kind of on a high horse. August will be like oysters at The Knickerbocker with the cocktail sauce in the martini glass and we're sitting by the cracked glass window and Drew says don't cut your hair not yet and so it'll be like humid heavy hair almost down to my waist now, sparkling water in plastic cups with lime and diet coke in a bikini and I will stay put for a while. I will sit at KGB sober in the evening like I do most every evening. They're tearing chocolate chip cookies apart with their hands at the table over and Amelia says she thinks a bit too much about herself to give too much thought to the existence of God but she remembers, as a child, crying tears of joy because she couldn't believe her luck. She just realized she had somehow made it into a human body on Earth, and she couldn't believe her luck. I don't wish the evenings went on too much longer. The timing is starting to feel just right. I want to fill a Desani water bottle with white claw and catch a cab to a pool party but the evening might start to feel too late. I'll read Fanny Howe, Thomas Hardy, Dawn Powell on the floor - big cracked hard cover dog eared copies of all my books. Then, I will pack up my books into Ikea plastic storage trunks. I will pack up all my books and dresses and then the movers will come. The movers will haul my things out the door. They will haul the place bare. I will turn off the air conditioning in this glass apartment in the sky, and then I will leave. August will be somewhere else. Thursday, July 31 Rebecca and I are making plans. Involving - The Chakras by C.W. Leadbeater and Esoteric Healing by Alice Bailey. I don’t want to work harder than I ever have before, but I do wish to be a bit more intuitive about it. Rebecca is telling me about Energy Hygiene in a Chaotic City. Rebecca is telling me about Seven Rays & Soul Typing. Taking Thomas Pynchon, guasha, monastery sage oil, yoga mat, mineral sunscreen up to the roof for Abundance Meditation and Contemplation. I receive good news. The best, really. I am sorry to be opaque, but something shifted in the winds in England. So far, I have managed to hold onto it here. Careful! Open up the blinds because it's foggy this morning which means we get to let some light in. No bright sunlight baking things alive. No leftover drinks or snacks from the Last Party Ever that was thrown last night. So - it’s a very strange day. I’d like to take a different approach to Caution. Generate me a definition. They generate me this definition: The deeper awareness of human limitations, the deceptive nature of false certainties, and the dangers of unchecked power. This will do. Friday, August 1 It’s an unusual sort of incoherence in my dreams today. The shelf above the bed is lined with wine glasses full of water, and there's an in between of sleep and something else - nyquil at six in the morning, cinnamon zyn at six in the morning, the friends went home around six in the morning and now it is sometime around noon, sunlight streaming in. I wake up gagging. In my dreams, the wine glass water was mostly poisoned. In the space between half awake, not all was poisoned but it was a Russian Roulette sort of thing. I take my chances. Chug water out of my safest bet. Wake up screaming. Fall asleep screaming. The Ikea boxes for the move are starting to fill up and I know it's me stuffing the plastic to the brim but I don't really remember. It's been recollection that's lacking, really. It's been a birthday dinner tonight. The sweetest kind in the Lower East Side. Dimes Square but it's just us, I said. Because it was in the general vicinity but the streets were all empty. A stupid joke, but everyone humored me. Everyone was beautiful and lovely and happy and I didn't drink a regrettable amount. A nice sort of night. Got stuck on Thomas Pynchon and now I can't read anything else. Got stuck on esoteric health and now the water is poison. Got stuck at karaoke and now my self proclaimed sulfate allergy is acting up. Wine and hypochondria. It becomes a bit self indulgent then, doesn't it? Saturday, August 2 If the movers weren't late, I'd be gone by now. But they are late, and so I am lying on the couch that’s being left behind in an Everlane striped tee and too-short Los Angeles apparel shorts feeling kind of sorry for myself. I'm not sure why I decided to scrounge up this sort millennial slop getup for the day of my very unceremonious departure. Feeling older than my years. Feeling like I was raised on Madewell and Ann Taylor or, whatever else it is that would feel nostalgic if I'd been born before 2000. Something other than Patagonia shorts and my sister's sweaters, anyways. Feeling culturally un-attuned. Feeling mostly sorry for myself because I am surrounded by grime. I've been flouncing around this place for a while, now. The clutter is so repulsive, and so much of it is new. There was never a day of really moving in, here. It was just step by step, one thing after another, little parcels that were easy to bring up and down and in and out and now; you wake up in the middle of the morning in a glass apartment in the sky to the sense that there is no space left. I would love to toss and toss and toss. I would love to close my eyes on this island of this couch amidst a swamp of Ikea boxes and tell the movers never mind. I would never open the boxes again. I would never do the dishes. I would wear polyester and sleep on the previous owners teak Scandinavian couch. I would sleep surrounded by trash. It would all become trash, because I would decide to throw it all out. What do we need to know?, the movers will ask, when they arrive. Do you find everything interesting? I will ask. Have you ever been bored? Was your last emotion in 2015? YAY, the movers will say. I am picking things up and putting them down. The movers will give me high fives. Me and three Serbian teens high-fiving in a glass apartment in the sky that I am soon to leave and never return. They will pick things up and put them down and haul them out and I will never return. Sunday, August 3 I have taken my things and never returned. All is well except, the lights here are a bit too fluorescent. The courtyard is nice for the turtle pond, but the brick blocks the sun. And, once there was a top lock but now there is not. There is a hole in my door and I can't get it out of my head. There is a hole in my door and now everything is all wrong. Sitting at GMT Tavern with a not very nice martini and the Thomas Pynchon book I just can’t finish or quit. Slow Learner. Slow Learner, just like me. Make it all about me me me. Life is like: another day in my dumb life on my dumb blog talking about me me me. Life does not have to be like this. Life could be like: the hovering curious dominant of their separate lives should resolve into a tonic of darkness and the final absence of all motion (Pynchon). I keep getting stuck on that quote. I keep getting stuck on entropy, which I do not hope to believe in. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Thursday, August 14 From 9pm at Silver Lining Lounge — Matt Weinberger and Scott Lipps present The Downtown Prom. Hosts include Sid Simons, Anika Jade Levy, Nicole Naloy, and more. Music by Sexy Damion, Blog Analog, Loose Buttons, and Boxxer. DJ sets and more.

Inline links: Matt Weinberger, Scott Lipps, The Downtown Prom

November 05, 2025 · Original source

Club sandwich in the solarium at The Marlton with Rebecca and Amelia this afternoon

A good nights sleep Monday, October 27 I opened the window to let in the eerie and whistling wind after the reading last night and then I stayed up late, fallen leaves and pollen drifting past my headboard. Called Celia to talk about the same things all over again. Called Celia to request that she confirm my fears and delusions and certainties for the million billionth time. I’m getting a really creepy feeling, Celia said. Like a horror movie, Celia said. In my earliest memories, I recall walking around with this very deep self-assuredness. I would wake up everyday feeling so certain and blessed for the absolute pureness of my heart. So when he said he understood me as perfect, it was like oh someone finally understands me the way that I understand myself, Celia said It is important to always have pure intentions, I told Celia. I like when people share my aesthetic sensibilities and are unfazed about the things I worry hedge towards evil, I told Celia I’m starting to feel so creeped out, Celia told me. Tuesday, October 28 Nothing was so creepy. I was not scared of anything anymore. I could still hear the wind through my open window and in the daylight it was nice. The nicest, really. The nicest thing in the world. I slept through the afternoon half aware of this nice and floating wind and then I donned a black skirt, black top, black Ganni boots and I drifted through orange-hour Washington Square Park and a light fall rain towards the lobby of The Marlton Hotel. Where there was a fire and Celia perched by it, waiting for me. Nothing ever happens. I used to be so arrogant, I told Celia, at The Marlton. Arrogance is a good sort of thing to hold onto, sometimes. Celia told me. Celia said something about our friends being cancelled online, something about moral hierarchies, she was done feeling sorry for herself and love thy god with all thy heart and all thy might and acedia is the only truly mortal sin. The Marlton Hotel and God and Self Indulgence. French fries with garlic aioli and dirty martinis and tuna tartar and writers workshop without too much writing. I was sitting there kicking my feet around and feeling like I might die if I couldn’t break-the-pattern-today-so-the-loop-does-not-repeat-tomorrow. Do you remember what life used to feel like? Do you wish to live forever? Do you wish to never suffer? Do you wish to never suffer, forever? I’m sorry to be cryptic about it. Wednesday, October 29 In my fever dream, I was back on the Amtrak heading towards Florida, Massachusetts and everyone around me was screaming. We were traveling to record something regarding Esoteric Health. It was still October, and I knew the omens we were seeking to be somewhat evil. Everyone was furious at me, and this only bothered me because I did not know why. Woke up in New York City yelling, somewhere between a memory and a fugue state. A recurring dream I used to have where I was driving with my parents over the George Washington Bridge in a winter storm and an old woman was lurching at the vehicle, tugging at the door handles, talking about how it was almost too late. A train ride last winter where everyone was screaming at me because my ex-boyfriend was being abrasive and I was kind of in on the bit. A small faux-thatched-roof apartment in Greenwich Village where no one is angry because no one is here. I paid my dues in apologies and reparations in October, and now God has rewarded me with a real life fever and unpleasant news. A lot of things I loved became shrouded in delusion and vicious self-involvement. A lot of clarity and purity of heart became hard to access because my morning was shrouded in a fever. Kind of wanting to scream. Kind of wanting to take my Brown Prada Boots and Black Fry Boots and Grandmas Suede Ballet Flats to the cobbler. My Blue Pearl Necklace to the jeweler. My Sue Wang Dress and Red Vintage Slip to the tailor. Kind of have been like a bull in a china shop with all my beautiful things, and now there is so much to fix. Kind of feeling indignant. I should really focus on believing in something. I believe in hotel lobbies, superficially. I believe in other things, too, but I am trying to have a bit more discretion about it. Thursday, October 30 Here is what has happened: I am sitting at The Marlton hotel now where everything is cast in a kind of olive glow and the fire place is roaring and I ordered a cheese board with camembert, comté, manchego, six grapes, two halfs figs, spoon of truffle honey and spoon of jam by myself. Ordered chamomile tea and sat with Rebecca and Dory in the sunroom with my fever, earlier. Now, I am sitting by the fire with my fever by myself. I am not ready to go home. I am not really ready to think or write about the sort of things that have happened. A small beautiful blond child and her brother a bit older just walked in both wearing sweet striped shirts. Their father just finished the marathon. Their mother is all smiles, pulling apples from her canvas bag and polishing them on the hotel napkins before placing the fruit in the beautiful children’s outstretched hand. I am green with envy. I am so overjoyed to be looking in on their Beautiful Life. An insufferable duo on a first date next to me is talking about how much they hate parades and how their work is industry agnostic. Their flirting is so nauseating. Bad voice physiognomy. They are flirting with each other in the most insufferable and sexless way and you can tell, so clearly, that they met on The Internet. I am starting to consider forgoing The Internet. There is a soulless kind of song and dance these people are doing. He is listing out his favorite types of Pasta Shapes and numbering his rankings on his stubby fingers. She is talking about food poisoning. Neither of them are religious. I am trying to stomach my distaste. If you have ugly thoughts they will seep through your skin and stomach and long black sleeves of your long black Brandy Melville dress and they will seep up through your mind and out of your pours and intermingle with the rancid scent of your fever that will become a deeper sort of illness and start to rot and fester in you forever. Your bitter and ugly thoughts will start to turn your face all ugly and ruined. I am trying to wish them grace and good will. I am trying to sip my tea and choke down fruit truffle honey and crackers. Twist my hair into two very tight braids. I want to find myself a little less repulsed. I want to look at these strangers’ pale forms and imagine them replaced by orbs of light. I want to look inside their rich inner worlds. I want to look into strangers’ eyes and not be afraid of staring or back holes. I want to wish them well. I want to hope they find a beautiful life. I want to hope they buy a beautiful life. Friday, October 31 Here is what has happened. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. Once; I lived in a glass apartment in the sky. I am not sure how things can oscillate in extremes, to that degree, with that level of hot and cold and up and down and everything cruel, like it became. I used to lie on the floor to feel close to things. Lie on the floor and dream about it. The past has been orbiting in ways that make me queasy along with the illness in the air, today and yesterday, since the eve of Halloween, really. At the Halloween Party in Chinatown I wore a black hat and milled about amongst red flowers, plum tart, candles and courtyards. Went bolting up the stairs to catch a car. Went walking under the Washington Square Park archway where the air was very crisp and I was very feverish. The park was overwhelming me with street performers and noise and light and stimulation. And then in the shadows and the grass and tucked away beyond the benches there are figures in sweatshirts and denim and long sweeping hair and interlaced hands and fallen leaves and everything sweet all around the edges. I was sitting at the edge of the park in June with my fingers interlaced and the beating sun fading into dusk and the summer stretching kind of hazy and breathless ahead. It is strange to try to remember anything. Strange all the stories I am hearing in the wind and the autumn and the fever dreams and another passing season. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Wednesday, November 5 From 7pm at Night Club 101 — 99 Minutes or Less returns with Maison du Bonheur (2017, 62 minutes). 99 Minutes or Less is a new free film screening showing films that are (you guessed it) 99 minutes or less. This evening’s screening is guest programmed by Elissa Suh of Movie Pudding. After party to follow with sounds by Dj Kyle and Paradise by Replica

Inline links: Night Club 101, 99 Minutes or Less, Maison du Bonheur, Elissa Suh, Movie Pudding, Dj Kyle, Paradise by Replica

November 12, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, November 3 And so everything kind of begins to hover as November sweeps in. The in between weeks. One can leave the city and then one can return. I call Amelia and ask if she’d like to go on another vacation for the aim of seeking things that are transgressive and weird, but the heat and the restlessness and the Miami sun of late-may is long gone, we never did visit the falconry like we planned, everyone would probably prefer to just stay put. Boil bone broth, go to a film, seek employment, write at the gym, braid and unbraid my hair three to four times before I decide to give it a rest. Do you really hate staying put that much?, Amelia asks. I go to the West Village Bitcoin Bar past ten pm in response. Still feverish from the last few days, but the wind outside is nice and the walk along Washington Square Park is quiet, tracing the streets along the park’s West edges past the brownstones and the Washington Square Hotel and the Marlton Hotel and then Pubkey Bar. It is not so much a thing of hating to stay put, but more of feng shui, four small walls, wind and water through my open window and I think most people dislike solitude of a certain kind, which can easily be mistaken for stillness. Pubkey Bar is always lit up kind of like an arcade. They sold some sign about crypto for one million dollars here, once. They sold the president’s autograph. They made me pickletinis and diet coke and seed-oil-free nachos and I used to be kind of manic here, drunk and yelling in the wind and on the street. It is such a desperately quiet night tonight. My friends are seated in the back rooms talking softly about the most valuable parts of a whole whale, their most favorite things about the people close to them, the best sound to elicit tears, the best cherry liqueur, the best ideas for how a person should be. It all comes at me kind of underwater, anyways. It’s all felt kind of shadowy as this year writes over the year before. Tuesday, November 4 And so all the energy came swirling back in an instant. They are playing sweet music like some of the My Fair Lady and the Mad Men soundtrack and J’ai 18 Ans and Zou Bisou Bisou at the hotel lobby with the roaring fireplace and the Cecily Brown mural and the young couples wearing cream slacks and red sweaters and holding newspapers and crinkled baskets of pastries. I have loved winter in New York the most of anything these past few years, and I’d been worried this one would not hold quite the same magic. Walk through the park while it is still early. Wear mostly skirts and tights and thin strapped tops and ballet flats, all black. Order ginger turmeric tea and almond milk cappuccino and write stories by the fire. Disavow hedonism. Disavow becoming the sort of person who does the certain types of things. There’s an order to these things. I tell Amelia; it is good to be mostly quiet. It is good to go to mostly the same places a million times over if the places one chooses are good. Wednesday, November 5 Did you notice everyone became very pleased that you were becoming exactly who you were meant to be when they first put you on Adderall?“ Ellie asked me at the party last night. The night was very warm and the party was very quiet and I was pleased with myself for my relative self possession that evening, which was the goal of the fall and the winter and the days that stretched out kind of breathless. Secret-keepers and Promise-Keepers and finding equilibrium between Self-Possession and Self-Awareness. These were the vaguely worded goals of the winter. No I didn’t really find that, I told Ellie. But I never got the chance to live out my potential on stimulants because I took it too far right away. Ellie nodded with sincere interest. My friends these days were very sincere. And the party was strange because the seating was in bleachers instead of tables and the music was jazz and my friends were very well dressed, decked in corsets and ballet flats and beaded belts and hair with ribbons and holding sparkling drinks with lime and aperol and smiling very broadly. I noticed that time had been passing all along sometime in early November. and so the following fervor came spurred by the sense that something might finally happen. The air got barely perceptively colder and ghosts washed up in dreams or in my courtyard or in signs and symbols like the strange numbers I’d been seeing on the sidewalk. It had been five months to the day since the start of summer and the lurching of my life in unexpected and nefarious though perhaps ultimately necessary ways, which I suppose just goes to show that some sort of momentum was required for time to do anything aside from idly tick on. I remembered that it is just one or two or three promises I make myself and others, though it becomes one million promises if you break one promise a million times. Thursday, November 6 I did nothing in the day yesterday besides watch the clouds make shadows out of various shades of light and dusk across my walls and then I pulled on a small black dress and black Ganni crumbling boots and walked through the quiet night towards Chinatown. The air was too stale and tight inside the sports bar where my friends were all smiles and drinking water and vodka and asking me about fun and faith and so then I walked further downtown to the new wine bar on Henry Street. Here, everyone was very drunk and cast in red light and our table was set in a hallway that resembled a kindergarten classroom and an eclectic group of acquaintances I knew from the Internet or Birthday Parties or Religious Magazines were sharing bottles of wine. To sleep very little means a dream state in the gray morning, which is nice because November Ninth marks the first real distance from the summer for me. The cycles repeated. The cycles grinded to a halt. I woke up to gray morning light through my still open window with a spiral bound notebook and an idea for transcription on the blank page: THINGS THAT HAPPENED ONCE I GAVE UP VICE. Friday, November 7 Listening to Chopin Nocturne op.9 no.2 while the sound of rain mixes with the sound of the turtle pond out the window and I swim in all the visions of where I’ve heard this song before. Like twirling around on brown wood floors during summer storms in the dining room at the house by the ocean while my parents cook fish stews in the kitchen and the floors turn yellow linoleum when you approach the stove and the pouring rain outside streams through the windows and all over the counters. The memory of twirling around and the smell of rain is always the most vivid of all. Like I’m always hurdling towards something or lying very still in all my recollections of things. Obsessed with motion. Arrested by motion! So the main thing now is momentum, I suppose. My Computer keeps on queuing up Chopin the The Nutcracker and Philip Glass Mishima based on past listening habits, but these two scores are both a bit too much to bear right now and so I’m hitting Skip Skip Skip. Not too much has happened since I gave up vice yesterday. Just; Rebecca told me that I look well rested, and the story about El Salvador and network states and techno-spirituality is off to print so I will soon be able to hold it in my hands and then relinquish any narrativization of past events and, it would be nice for energy drinks and nicotine to be coursing through my veins right now but there is something more beautiful and languid in self-induced timeout over microplastics and mind altering substances. Moonless night. Moon hidden behind the rainstorm. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Wednesday, November 12 From 6:30pm at Night Club 101 — Free reading series Reading 101 launches, ft Swati Sudarsan, Adrienne Raphel, Jessica Lynne, Aurora Huiza, and James Barickman. Music by Solex Yoghurt.

Inline links: Night Club 101, Reading 101

West-side-highway-dog-park

January 08, 2026 · Original source

I found a beautiful old bible at the vintage store for Rebecca. I found two 1980s guide books to Switzerland with beautiful bindings and engraved wooden covers for my father

March 18, 2026 · Original source

Plagiarized images of spring Saturday Everything in my room was quiet in a way that was a little bit like heaven and a little bit like hell. I lay down in bed with a Spring-2024 copy of American Affairs Magazine and I tried to read over an article about Tech Clusters and Stagnation but I ended up in AI psychosis instead. Affirm affirm affirm, my computer said. Your life seems to have solidified, my computer said. The point of it all isn’t really to be that pretty or even that kind, my computer said. The point of life isn’t love or hate, but understanding. The cycles repeat until they flip, and then they rarely return. You shouldn’t really try to understand yourself that well. You should try to resist the compulsion to share the mundanities of your everyday life and certainly of your rich-inner-world. I was supposed to shut my computer around six-pm, but the call came at five-fifty instead. The West Village was like l’heure bleue. The West Village was humid and sweet and warm and lovely. The trees were like silver skeletons, and Washington Square Park was full of teens hosting vigils for deceased foreign leaders and lookalike contests for girls with borderline-personality-disorder and presidential men. You’re in your spring coat, Max said. He had never heard that word before me. Some coats are heavy, and other coats are light, I explained. The outside of Babbo is somewhat unassuming, and the inside of Babbo is burgundy and warm and old school and sweet. The host stand is set back from the entryway and the bar is lively even at six. The whole place is basically windowless, which makes me feel like I am in a cave or on a ship or at a private party or in a nineteen-fifties-film or an architectural-dream. The menus come in small leather binders and a line drawing of a black cartoon jester carrying a bottle of wine is sketched on the first page. I am somewhat unable to typecast the demographic of the clientele here, which is interesting and somewhat rare. Everyone is quite well dressed but unassuming and of various ages though leaning-older. It is impossible to eavesdrop inside Babbo, which goes against my usual sensibilities, and aligns exactly with my dinner-sensibilities. The hostess was an older lady, because all the best restaurants have older-waitstaff-mostly. I’ll let you sit at a table and I won’t make you move, the hostess said. Everybody laughed politely and was very pleased. In the center of Babbo, there is a velvety staircase. This would be a good place for a private party, I said. The hostess led us up the velvet stairs. In the upstairs of Babbo, there is a burgundy room and a big bar and white-table-cloths and the waiter poured city-water out of metal-watering-pails and into glass-cups. The specialty martini is made very-dry. Can you make it very-dirty, I asked. We can do anything you want, the waiter said. The waiter was an old Italian man. He wrote down the martini order and our names on a napkin. MARTINI ORDER, the napkin read. You’ve been here before, the waiter said. Once, I said. You look familiar, he said. I’m not, I said. The waiter told a story about the time that all the old French restaurants closed and never returned. Only the Italian restaurant remained, he explained. You come as a child then perhaps on a date at eighteen then with family then a wedding, he said. Coming back and coming back and coming back over and over again. Anytime the water glass would run low, the waiter would appear with the metal watering pale, and the glass would be filled up. The bread came with ricotta and fresh olive oil and sea salt. Squid ink pasta and branzino and broccoli. Two martinis and a cappuccino after dinner and I melted the sugar cubes on the surface of the coffee and then I ate them with a spoon. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, all the staff said, when we left. The theme of the magazine launch was print revival and kosher pickle martinis. There were girls scout cookies on the counter, and the vibe was one of general mystique, though all I could make out when the editor spoke was something about “fiction” and “Elon Musk.” Saoirse and Olivia were behind the bar, and they were looking like angels wearing white and being kind. The late winter hadn’t really felt like real life, so it was nice and quite affirming to make eye contact with my friends. You’re the best contract employee in the world, the girls assured each other. You’re the best girlfriend ever. You’re the sweetest girl to ever walk this Earth. The magazine was free and so I helped myself and left by midnight. I can psyop myself, and then I can do whatever I want. My process is I write everything that happened and then I filter it into obfuscation one-million-times. My process is to invent my own school of movement and adopt a moral code. My process is totally against religious iconography as vague gestures towards false meaning, but totally pro iconography when one’s belief in something is complete. My self psyop sometimes looks like self experimentation, or bandaid-solution, or destruction and construction and being social-chair. I tread very lightly, and when I act according to things I hate or things I miss, it goes about exactly how you’d expect it to. Here is something: call up my parents and I read my diaries aloud on my phone. Everything seems like the end of the world in dizzy night, and: The boys hands were bloody in the morning, and; I ordered coffee and milkshake and breakfast sandwich in, and: everyone seems so fragile in the sunshine, and: One thing about being here, hazy in the sun is I feel less aggressive. In New York, the sun keeps coming back and going away and I love it when my friends and I talk about the weather. I order green juice and cold brew in the morning, and it’s quiet and cold-again. I order chopped-green-goddess-sandwhich and I seek intellectual-stimulation and I wear a brown-leather-jacket to the west-side-highway-dog-park. My process is everything-beautiful-all-the-time and iphone photography and whenever my perspective is called into question I can call up Amelia who can affirm how happy I really was all the time, there, and sometimes now. She’s totally straight-edge, and she always has a good sense of the way things were and are and are heading. Sunday Sitting on the couch in an empty apartment watching the gray sky turn light in the courtyard and listening to the garbage trucks fire up on the somewhat distant street. It feels like waking up in New York as a child, right now. Awake too early. Jet lagged, almost. At a magazine launch during evening fading night in a white house with framed art and long french windows and yellow trim, a man was telling me that the only good thing about not growing up in New York City is that you get to experience the thing that it is to understand the city for the first time and to let it consume you. If you grow up in New York, then you understand the city all along and this is mostly a great thing, he was saying, but what about that feeling when you arrive and you’re older and you understand a place like this for the very first time. There were daffodils all throughout the apartment, and carpeted floors over wood that stretched back into room after room like a maze. Everyone was calling each other “dear” and there was a sense of things as generally boisterous but not overblown. I like older people who love New York. I like people that are sober-minded, fun, and rarely cynical. The people at the party wore pearls and black and ballet flats and lived uptown and they kept on asking me about New York. Do you love New York, they kept on asking. And I said yes and I meant it and they seemed pleased The air conditioner is running. The sky is gray and sweet. I always am very aware of causation, and I know how to understand what makes something bad and what makes something good. I don’t think it’s narcissistic to try to understand your own intentions but one shouldn’t go too much deeper than that. I would never betray anyone I love. I want ginger beer for breakfast lunch and dinner. I want hydrangeas in the apartment. I want to fall asleep in a room sized bed and be airlifted into daylight and clothed in blue sweaters. I want to be dosed with soylent but not lobotomized. Last night, at the magazine launch, a man was telling me about the story of his life. I lived across from Jeffrey Epstein, he said. I’m a lawyer, he said. I know hundreds of people, he explained. Do you know any secrets, I asked. The girls never looked underage to me, he shrugged. Isabel pulled me away. We walked down the long and wooden hallway and we stood by open windows. The figures across the street looked almost cartoonish, running like shadowy stick figures down the paths in hazy dusk in Central Park. So winter is great until March comes around, and I am not so ready for spring equinox and abandon-interiority and things moving faster and faster and faster. Everything material feels kind of cartoonishly good. Everything on my computer feels kind of cartoonishly evil. Cassandra and I bought big blue books full of curses, and now we are going to open them on the floor of an apartment on the Upper West Side and wear cable-knit sweaters and assume invincibility until proven otherwise. Since Darby gave me a blue heart-shaped bowl and an evil-eye bracelet that I haven’t taken off since, I’ve realized that I need to hold my cards closer to my chest. I put myself to sleep at dusk tonight because there are colors flashing in front of my open eyes like hallucinations and signs of delirium. I wake up on the couch shivering under my spring coat. Little white dried flowers all around me. A new wooden toothbrush propped on one clean shelf in an otherwise crowded cabinet. I wait for midnight so the new day can begin, and then at twelve-oh-one I say thank you to God one million times. I go outside for a walk in humid winter air. I go inside, and I’m alone again. I go to a building that looks “new” in Tribeca, and I go to a building that looks “old”. I interrupted a meeting, and I was given plastic bottles of fireball behind the bar. My friends were all talking about picking up new hobbies. A boy outside told me about adult gymnastics. I told the girls about rock climbing. I considered aerial silks. I considered French lessons and online shopping and recommending books-to-buy-boys-who-are-just-getting-into-reading. I watched a video essay about how not to let the moon affect your moods. I watched a video essay about undersea cables. So, February was fine. Cold and a little bit dreary and Iris keeps on telling me that above all she considers herself to be pragmatic, which seems to be working out for her and so I’m taking notes. I keep on deciding to just become nihilistic about it, but even when I don’t set alarms, I always wake up in time to do the things I should. DIRECTORY Wednesday, March 18 from 4:45pm at Metrograph —El Sur (1983, Victor Erice) screens. I have a special fondness for the landscapes of Northern Spain and the only beer I like is estrella, per, my Galician friend Rebecca. This film is not about spanish beer, but rather a spanish girl by the same name. “it’s half a film that contains a whole world of wonders.” Thursday, March 19 evening plans: MANHATTAN: From 7:30pm at Night Club 101 — Lubov says THE INTERNET MADE ME DO IT. A night of readings and music with Ada Donnelly, Alex Bienstock, Marble Index, Kyle Sullivan Dobbs, Lorry Kikta, Melissa Seward, Angel Money, and Yuri NYC. | RSVP here

Inline links: Metrograph, El Sur, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!j-tT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0957633a-b82a-41e1-80ef-d921967efdf4_1512x1008.png, Night Club 101, Lubov, here

Riley Mac10 mentions across 10 issues

Riley Mac is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 10 times across 10 issues between October 07, 2024 and February 15, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Riley Mac and Montana James Thomas introduce the first installment of STRAIGHT GIRLS"; "Riley Mac and Montana James Thomas present the launch of My Gaping Masshole"; "featuring Melissa Broder, Dorthea Lasky, Riley Mac, and Shy Watson". It most often appears alongside Los Angeles, STRAIGHT GIRLS, KGB Bar.

Article page: Riley Mac
Mention count: 10
Issue count: 10
First seen: October 07, 2024
Last seen: February 15, 2026
Instagram handle: @rileyxmacx

Outbound links

Issue trail

Mimetic Theories of Doing Nothing October 07, 2024
Dream Logic February 03, 2025
52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025
Rules for Clarity March 12, 2025
A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again June 09, 2025
Walking Poems July 29, 2025
Big Huge World October 06, 2025
COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
How To Break Paralysis January 14, 2026
Yellow-all-around February 15, 2026

Los Angeles 7 shared issues
STRAIGHT GIRLS 6 shared issues
KGB Bar 5 shared issues
Montana James Thomas 5 shared issues
Night Club 101 5 shared issues

Source context

Mimetic Theories of Doing Nothing

October 07, 2024 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB — Riley Mac and Montana James Thomas introduce the first installment of STRAIGHT GIRLS. Readings by Meg Superstar Princess, Zoey Greenwald, Jack Meriwether, Maddie Vasquez, and Chariot Wish.

Inline links: Riley Mac, Montana James Thomas, Meg Superstar Princess, Zoey Greenwald, Jack Meriwether, Maddie Vasquez

Dream Logic

February 03, 2025 · Original source

From 7:30pm at Solas Bar — Riley Mac and Montana James Thomas present the launch of My Gaping Masshole by Madison Murray. Readings by Coco Gordon Moore, Alissa Bennett, Elizabeth Ellen, and Greta Doyle. Hosted by Dirty Magazine and Neoliberal Hell. As someone from a weird town in Massachusetts, I'm excited about this one.

Inline links: Solas Bar

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB (Red Room) — Mind Palace Poetry presents Spring Forward. Hosted by Carson Jordan, featuring Melissa Broder, Dorthea Lasky, Riley Mac, and Shy Watson.

March 12, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Red Room — Riley Mac and Montana James Thomas present the latest installment of Straight Girls, ft readings by Erin Pérez, Molly Soda, Gideon Jacobs, Benin Gardner, and Jordan Franklin.

Inline links: Riley Mac, Montana James Thomas

June 09, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Bar Red Room — Riley Mac & Montana James Thomas return with STRAIGHT GIRLS - “a diabolical line up of romance, sex, camp, and flamboyance.” Featuring Cat Cohen, Louis Bubko, Betsy Studholme, Lucas Restivo, and Tivali Thomas.

Inline links: KGB Bar Red Room, Riley Mac, Montana James Thomas

Walking Poems

July 29, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Private Curtain — Riley Mac hosts the tour kick off of Maya Martinez’s THEATRICS. Ft Whitney Mallet, Kellian Delice, Mani Mekala, Trinity Noone, Jake Dibeler, and Maya Martinez.

Inline links: Riley Mac, Maya Martinez’s, THEATRICS

October 06, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Bar — Riley Mac & Montana James Thomas present STRAIGHT GIRLS. Ft. Alex Auder, Maya Kotomori, Ruby Mccolister, Georgica Pettus, and True.

Inline links: KGB Bar, Riley Mac, Montana James Thomas

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Bar — Riley Mac & Montana Thomas James bring back Straight Girls, with readings from Anna Birch, Whitney Mallett, Bunny Rogers, Sam Anderson, and Tilghman Goldsborough.

Inline links: KGB Bar, Riley Mac, Montana Thomas James, Straight Girls

How To Break Paralysis

January 14, 2026 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Bar — Riley Mac & Montana Thomas James bring back Straight Girls, with readings from Anna Birch, Whitney Mallett, Bunny Rogers, Sam Anderson, and Tilghman Goldsborough.

Inline links: KGB Bar, Riley Mac, Montana Thomas James, Straight Girls

Yellow-all-around

February 15, 2026 · Original source

From 8pm at Night Club 101 — Punisher returns with a post Valentine’s Day debrief. Readings by Megsuperstarprincess, Riley Mac, Nicole Sellew, Francesca D’Alessandro, Dove Ginsburg, and Ava Doorley. Party to follow with The Heaven Forever. Mélange á seven. | RSVP here.

Inline links: Night Club 101, Punisher, The Heaven Forever, here

Ross Barkan7 mentions across 7 issues

Ross Barkan is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 7 times across 7 issues between April 15, 2025 and January 14, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by Ross Barkan, Greg Gerke, Anthony Galluzzo, Ella Schmidt"; "4 readers, 4 new books: Jules Tarranto, John Pistelli, Ross Barkan, and Matthew Gasda"; "ft Matt Gasda, Paul Franz, Ross Barkan, Emmalea Russo, Ella Schmidt". It most often appears alongside Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, Matthew Gasda, KGB Bar.

Article page: Ross Barkan
Mention count: 7
Issue count: 7
First seen: April 15, 2025
Last seen: January 14, 2026
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

[REDACTED] is awful April 15, 2025
mutually assured destruction May 06, 2025
Coffeeshop Gossip July 23, 2025
Arrowhead expert August 28, 2025
Autumn Secrets October 27, 2025
COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
How To Break Paralysis January 14, 2026

Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research 6 shared issues
Matthew Gasda 6 shared issues
KGB Bar 4 shared issues
Night Club 101 4 shared issues
A.L. Bahta 3 shared issues

Source context

mutually assured destruction

April 15, 2025 · Original source

From 7:30pm at Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Serpent Club Press celebrates the forthcoming issue with a reading and party. Hosted by Paul Franz, Matthew Gasda, and Robert Gittings. Readings by Ross Barkan, Greg Gerke, Anthony Galluzzo, Ella Schmidt and more.

Inline links: Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, reading and party, Paul Franz, Matthew Gasda

May 06, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm - 11:30pm at Brooklyn Center For Theatre Research — The Metropolitan Review presents A Night of New Literature. 4 readers, 4 new books: Jules Tarranto, John Pistelli, Ross Barkan, and Matthew Gasda.

Inline links: Brooklyn Center For Theatre Research, The Metropolitan Review, A Night of New Literature

Coffeeshop Gossip

July 23, 2025 · Original source

From 8:30pm at Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Celebrate the launch of New Writing Volume III, ft Matt Gasda, Paul Franz, Ross Barkan, Emmalea, Russo, Ella Schmidt, and more.

Inline links: Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research

Arrowhead expert

August 28, 2025 · Original source

From 7:30pm at Baker Falls — A Night of Male Readings, ft Mike Crumplar, Sam Venis, Ross Barkan, Jonah Howell, Chris Jesu Lee, David Polonoff, and Nick Dove.

Inline links: Baker Falls, A Night of Male Readings

Autumn Secrets

October 27, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm at UnHerd US HQ — A Halloween-themed-mayoral debate - “ featuring columnist Ross Barkan and progressive activist and whistleblower Lindsey Boylan (in support of Mamdani) versus the New York Post’s Miranda Devine and National Review’s Caroline Downey (in opposition).”

Inline links: A Halloween-themed-mayoral debate

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 6:30pm at P&T Knitwear — David Fishkind presents his debut novel Don’t Step Into My Office in conversation with Ross Barkan. - “security and HR have been told to stand down as readers breathlessly rush in.” After party to follow at Night Club 101. Cannot recommend this one enough. Very excited <3 | tickets here

Inline links: P&T Knitwear, David Fishkind, Don’t Step Into My Office, Ross Barkan, here

How To Break Paralysis

January 14, 2026 · Original source

From 6:30pm at P&T Knitwear — David Fishkind presents his debut novel Don’t Step Into My Office in conversation with Ross Barkan. - “security and HR have been told to stand down as readers breathlessly rush in.” After party to follow at Night Club 101. Cannot recommend this one enough. Very excited <3 | tickets here

Inline links: P&T Knitwear, David Fishkind, Don’t Step Into My Office, Ross Barkan, here

Roman D'Ambrosio6 mentions across 6 issues

Roman D'Ambrosio is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 6 times across 6 issues between June 24, 2024 and November 27, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "a panel featuring Jonathan Rosado, Salomé, and Roman D'Ambrosio"; "panel featuring Jonathan Rosado, Salomé, and Roman D'Ambrosio"; "Roman D'Ambrosio presents a reading of his new play Homemade Dynamite". It most often appears alongside KGB, August Lamm, Beckett Rosset.

Article page: Roman D'Ambrosio
Mention count: 6
Issue count: 6
First seen: June 24, 2024
Last seen: November 27, 2025
Instagram handle: @badpostroman

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #4 June 24, 2024
COLLECTED AGENDA #5 July 08, 2024
COLLECTED AGENDA #7 August 14, 2024
Santa Teresa April 10, 2025
Drinking Dreams September 04, 2025
One Million Billion Interludes November 27, 2025

KGB 4 shared issues
August Lamm 3 shared issues
Beckett Rosset 3 shared issues
Blade Study 3 shared issues
BRUTALIST COUTURE 3 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #4

June 24, 2024 · Original source

No direct inline source block was recovered for this mention.

July 08, 2024 · Original source

No direct inline source block was recovered for this mention.

COLLECTED AGENDA #7

August 14, 2024 · Original source

Also Wednesday, August 14 - Roman D’Ambrosio presents a reading of his new play Homemade Dynamite at Sovereign House. The play debuted at the New York Theater Festival — featuring “intense drugs, sex, violence, and religious fervor”. Doors at 7pm, Play at 8pm

Inline links: Roman D’Ambrosio, Homemade Dynamite, Sovereign House, New York Theater Festival

Santa Teresa

April 10, 2025 · Original source

No direct inline source block was recovered for this mention.

One Million Billion Interludes

September 04, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 10pm at 54 Barrow St — Roman D'Ambrosio presents This Woman’s Work: a night of three plays. Directed by Roman D’Ambrosio. Starring Meg Spectre and Agnes Enhktamir. RSVP here

Inline links: Roman D'Ambrosio, RSVP here

November 27, 2025 · Original source

From 7:00 - 9:00pm at The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Hillsdale opened yesterday, and there’s another performance tonight! A play written by Roman D’Ambrosio and directed by Rabiah Rowther. “During homecoming weekend at the infamous conservative Hillsdale College, former fraternity brothers, and the women they love, reunite. As the weekend unfolds and the drinking increases, the alumni question their relationship with each other and the promises they were told. | This is a very unique play that I’m excited about. Definitely worth seeing. tickets here (additional performances Nov 28

Inline links: The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, Hillsdale, Roman D’Ambrosio, Rabiah Rowther, here

Ruby6 mentions across 6 issues

Ruby is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 6 times across 6 issues between November 12, 2024 and February 10, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "I see Ruby. I tell her I'm scared I'm being mean. Ruby says be meaner"; "Ruby recommends inositol. It arrives today"; "Ruby and I go to Bar Belly for dinner". It most often appears alongside David, KGB, Madelyn.

Article page: Ruby
Mention count: 6
Issue count: 6
First seen: November 12, 2024
Last seen: February 10, 2025
Instagram handle: @rrubyjoan

Outbound links

Issue trail

Counterculture in America November 12, 2024
Life before inositol January 13, 2025
January continues January 19, 2025
Burn my diaries January 23, 2025
Dream Logic February 03, 2025
February Dining. February 10, 2025

David 6 shared issues
KGB 5 shared issues
Madelyn 5 shared issues
EARTH 4 shared issues
Heart House 4 shared issues

Source context

Counterculture in America

November 12, 2024 · Original source

Today – I go to the opening of the new O’Flaherty’s on Allen Street tonight. It’s a cool show, a weird space. It’s a huge space and really not a ton of work, but I guess it’s Alex Katz and Matthew Barney in a pop-up seeming gallery on the Lower East Side, so you can kind of do what you want. I see Ruby. I tell her I’m scared I’m being mean. Ruby says be meaner.

Inline links: O’Flaherty’s, Alex Katz, Matthew Barney, Ruby

Life before inositol

January 13, 2025 · Original source

I eat wild herring for breakfast. I get the one from Bar Harbor online, preserved in salt water with lots of pepper. If I eat breakfast, it’s always something strange. Sometimes, David makes me a french omelette. If David makes me a french omelet, then I eat that. I’ve been sleeping better. Eating better, too. The two are very connected for me. Ruby recommends inositol. It arrives today. If it can cure me, that’s a miracle, but I’ve been getting a little better on my own, anyways. A walk to the gym through SoHo - it begins to snow. Blizzard, almost. They're sprinkling salt in big clumps all over the sidewalk by Corner Bar. This is the first winter I can recall since childhood where there's been snow and lots of it. It's nice. There's whimsy in the air. I could stay here for hours. I’ve been praying for the calm, and now it is here. Sterility is nice in few regards - an empty and cavernous gym being one of them. I go to see Babygirl with Natasha and some of her friends at Angelika East in the evening. It’s a nice evening of cinema, but sometimes a theater can enclose you, and this is not one of those times. We’re too close to the screen, everyone around us keeps squealing, the movie is just really pretty overall bad. It’s like Nicole Kidman’s second Eyes Wide Shut, I keep on hearing people say but it’s not, really, at all actually. Perhaps thematically - both delving into female sexuality and desire - but you can like the topics a film explores and still sense that there is absolutely no coherence to the plot, nor to the flailing illogical actions of the characters - actions of which at no point are genuinely sold as being driven by desire. Tuesday, January 7 After briefly losing one's mind, simple tendrils of thought that gesture towards sanity become disproportionately lovely. I’m reading Kafka, still - my godforsaken piece on Kafka coming out next week and then I can abandon these stories for good. It’s been nice to delve deeply into a topic, nice to hate everything I have to say so much that I rephrase it over and over again, nice to consider language with an eye towards cognizance, towards if it actually makes any sense. Most of the time, I write and speak out of necessity, or even, desperation. Clearing the mind. Purging the soul. I am a diarist - self indulgent. Or perhaps, it’s just something else entirely. It’s something different than an artistic practice. Criticism and fiction necessitate at least grasping towards some idealized form of clarity. Writing about writing - awful, boring, should never be done. For now, it’s like I'm in highschool. Reading “Josephine the Singer, or the Mouse Folk” under the comforter with a reading lamp turned all the way up. It’s still early afternoon but it’s too cold, too windy, the draft is vicious through the greenhouse roof. I have my head under the blankets and so it’s like a simulation of evening. David keeps the reading lamp set to soft orange light, and so it’s like a simulation of candlelight, too. I’m exhausted and so I’m stretching reality. I’m stretching a story out of thin air. Now, I’ll go to pilates and stretch on an empty floor. I’ll go get nail polish remover from the boxes on the highest shelf or, if missing, from the CVS next door. Kafka’s Josephine is a wretched character. She possesses a firm belief in her own entitlement to a life of leisure on account of her artistic talents, but of course she lives in a time where wretched conditions have rendered real artistic talents inconceivable. She is not only un-talented, but also a fraud. There are notes that could be made about self-recognition in this spoiled, awful, regrettable character, but I’m sparing myself. We go to Big Bar in the evening. I've never been before, but it seems to be a spot that people know about. I knew it would be these people here, my friend says when we walk in. I don’t really recognize anyone, but that's often how these things go. The bit with Big Bar is that it's actually an extremely small bar. It's all drenched in red light and there’s a tiny DJ booth by the front window and it's cash only, the drinks are not terribly strong, but they are cheap. Someone has a small dog in a carrier in their arms, but no one seems to notice aside from us. This seems like a spot for old heads - of which I am not, but I enjoy the company of. Wednesday, January 8 Meeting with Beckett and Jonah this morning at Caffe Reggio to discuss Tense - Reggio is full and so Beckett suggests Dante. It’s not like he remembered it, now. It’s a coffee shop, he says, but it’s a cocktail bar now. Expensive green and red martinis in thin glasses whirling through the room even now, at two pm. They still let us sit for coffee. I have an interview after. Madelyn texts me. At Altro Paradiso at 3pm, they are saying goodbye to the head chef. I’ve gone to Altro Paradiso a few times recently, because Madelyn works there mostly, although even independent of that it’s the best food I’ve had in New York in a while. Today, I was in a rush, the plans were last minute. I'm still wearing my workout clothes and their ‘archival lululemon’ - hand-me-downs from a closet of a friend of my mothers when I was about thirteen years old. The shirt is striped and black and white and a small band bearing slogans like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” folds up or down at the hem, depending on how flagrantly antisocial you feel like being on that particular day. I’m keeping the band folded under today. I’m wildly underdressed but it’s afternoon, the restaurant isn’t even technically open yet. There’s a toast to the chef and I’m the only outsider in attendance and so I stay at the bar while the group of staff and friends and family assemble. It’s very special, even to bear witness to as someone uninvolved. There’s a heart and soul to food and drink and service that other industries, even creative industries, really don’t have in the same way. I’m a tiny bit tipsy, now. I need to start hostessing again. I make this note on my phone: “NEED TO START HOSTESSING AGAIN!!!!” We stay at Altro Paradiso til dinner starts, and we continue to stay till it feels like dinner is about to end. Everything is magical - the alla prima cocktail, wine, dirty martini, pane e ricotta, salad with figs and dates, octopus, olives, oysters under beds of thinly sliced veggies, malfatti (which is pasta that is like little pillows), linguine al nero (which is pasta with squid ink and cuttlefish and basil), a few deserts - pistachio ice cream and the pear cake. The afternoon turns to a sparkling evening. I walk home. I go elsewhere, after - fun too, but I probably shouldn’t have. I should probably learn when to call an evening. Decadence in excess, turns all that sparkles sour. Thursday, January 9 It's been the same day on repeat so far this year. The same three days, really. Rinse and do it again. The year has only held nine days. I can't view my stagnation with too much harshness. Decadence, in contrast, should be viewed with harshness. Los Angeles is burning up and it feels uncouth to talk about this here as this tragedy is not my life, but I can't stop watching. Most emotions are triggered through all five senses - it's a strange feeling of muted horror to see destruction of places and lives you know on a screen, detached from your physical experience but visible in real time in your cognizant mind - peripheral vision. I accidentally get stuck in the Louis Vuitton x Murakami line in SoHo. I accidentally steal a pair of Split sweatpants from the gym. I accidentally read all the books on the 4chan 2024 Top 100 Lit Board list. I'm on tiktok watching videos of the apocalypse overlaid with Lana del Rey audio. I’m browsing r/lainfluencersnark and they have a lot to say about the way their parasocial relationships are handling the apocalypse. I tried to write something about phones and chaos and end times but it was silly. These are resources / writing from people in LA. The Angel - L.A. Fires — How to Help

Inline links: Bar Harbor, inositol, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VYl0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F08cd7020-7ebc-489e-b243-209ab1d83d20_906x606.jpeg, “Josephine the Singer, or the Mouse Folk”, Big Bar, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wp05!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9a23d264-68fb-4db9-aada-e135b8a1ffb2_1200x1600.jpeg, Tense, Altro Paradiso, The Angel - L.A. Fires — How to Help

Inline links: X Post, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C7a6!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5b47129c-0bc4-49be-9951-68a8a3f58ac6_1179x1372.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RkCJ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcb4a64bf-f664-428e-854a-221b40a26109_1536x2048.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XxFb!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F59a8c887-c1bc-4090-9568-92185cc4e0c1_1412x1420.png, Amazon Labor Union, PradaHorseShoe, Russian Cosmism Circle NYC, Doomscroll Podcast, Geo Yankey, Capitalist Realism, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!kDE6!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd7220533-39ee-4944-a185-b7983b1500e9_1600x1066.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!abSY!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcb12cd88-f058-4032-ba7f-a91514034d33_1600x1066.jpeg, here, EARTH, Jordan Castro, Cluny

January 19, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Sunday, January 12 Ruby and I go to Bar Belly for dinner. Can we move to a table away from the bar, Ruby asks the waitress. Sitting at the bar is bad for your posture and alignment, she explains. This is another thing she's been learning at witch school. It seems that at witch school, you learn to sit and stand and then by proxy, to eat and sleep and breathe and think. Fruit and honey for breakfast, feet on the ground when you are seated with an unsupported spine. I am craving spiritual guidance, and so I soak this up like a sponge. I want to be taught how to be. This is how you wake up. This is how you shift your feet out of bed, this is how you land on the wood floor, toes first, the arches of your feet, then heels. The truth of it is my movements are products of my best but often misguided judgment. Guesses, really. For all I know, you should wake up in the morning upside down. Palms on the ground first. Heels then arches then toes. I want to learn how to be divine, but there are so many shamans and they all know best. God forbid I become sacrilegious. I certainly know myself to be fringing on this at times. Even the mention of shamans.... Ruby and I were going to go to El Salvador on Tuesday, but then I’m thinking about how I should read more before I continue my research on the ground. I visited El Salvador this summer. Later, halted my story about crypto-charter-state-red-light-therapy-benevolent-dictatorship etc etc etc. A result of overstimulation and laziness - I should deepen my roots before I return to them. Later, I'll go later. David sends me an X Post: “Wish we lived in 1970s media economy so esquire or playboy could fly me to El Salvador and publish my 10,000-word marginally-coherent slice-of-life coverage of the crypto convention that ends with a guy in a hot tub saying something accidentally zeitgeisty.” Ruby and I go to Forgetmenot. There’s a dog behind me, a big white husky, I hold out my hand to pet him and he gives me his paw. He does this a few times. He’s trained, I’m sure, to expect a reward in response but we’ve ordered a grill plate, there’s only halloumi left, I don’t want to poison the poor thing. Ruby posts a picture of me with the dog, but I’m in my big puffy jacket, and it mostly becomes just a picture of the dog. She tags my name on the screen. David sends me a screenshot of the picture. “DID YOU TURN INTO A DOG???” he asks. I order David ice cream from Figo when I get home. I ate half his bread and butter even though I've been so Ray Peat and even though after, I’ve been so Keto. I've been drinking again, hence the bread. Not a lot, but I was sober for a week, and the three drinks feel jarring. I've decided to stop causing problems. I've decided to get a job at a restaurant. I like the service industry, because the job is intensely exterior. There are many things so close to me of true significance, and I'm sick of ignoring them in favor of acting like a grasping freak. Monday, January 13 And so, you decide to redecorate again. Look at the layout of this place. There’s so much potential. There’s a big marble table and it’s cramping every corner. It’s cramping the light from the window. It’s cramping the yellow golden light that is framing our mirror. I go downstairs quickly, the light will be gone soon. I want to get a flight tomorrow, leave with my friends and find clarity in the hot humid heat, but it doesn’t feel like I'll be absorbing myself in something more - it feels like escape, and I haven’t earned this decadence. I’ve been deliberating all day. I’ve been clutching my evil eye in case I do decide to travel. All my friends wear evil eyes, too. It’s a strange coincidence - something most people I'm drawn to share, not intentional. I'm not religious, but this is different. Adele keeps a drawer in her apartment full of evil eyes, stocked to the brim in case one charm coincidently shatters. She'll never have to go unprepared. I take a test today. Sent, received, complete, returned. It’s so thrilling to do something I’m supposed to do. If we got rid of the marble table…. If we lined the walls with floor pillows below the windows, their tufted fabric landing well lower than the horizon line even when stacked…. I can imagine the furniture gone. Me, staring clearly across the room, one wall to another. I'm imagining all the clutter dissipated. I imagine it would erase some sense of static. I can imagine my hypothetical week in El Salvador, but I need to learn how to think about something outside of myself, even when I’m here. It would be better there. I can picture the airbnb in San Benito, the eight or so bedrooms, the open air layout that big homes in warm climates often share, arches bleeding into courtyards, steps built into hills, unclear where one room becomes another, wind and heat lightning swirling around you and raising your hair as your walking, even through the kitchen, even ostensibly inside. I want to swim in a big clear pool over a city that is now vaguely familiar but still, not really mine. I want to finish the story I started. New England Winter. I need to learn how to sort things through while staying put. David and I go to Estela for dinner. It’s our anniversary. He tells me not to say anything online about it. Private life should stay private, he says, but I’m writing it anyway. Estela is nice. It’s the sister restaurant of Altro Paradiso. My friend, Madelyn works there. Estela is smaller, cozier, you have to buzz to get into the building and then it’s up some steps, it feels like you’re in an apartment, it feels like you’re in Berlin. I’ve never been to Copenhagen, but I imagine it feels a bit like Copenhagen, too. “I like more old timey restaurants,” David says. “Me too,” I say. “But sometimes isn’t it nice to be in a restaurant that feels like Copenhagen? David agrees. He’s never been to Copenhagen either. Altro Paradiso is brightly lit, whereas Estela is dim. Stella - Latin for Star. Etc. The distinction feels a little obvious, but then, I’m being a little particular. Estela is small plates. Romantic. You can tell because you have to buzz the door to get in, and because the lighting is really dark. They put us in a little alcove by the shelves and shelves of wine. We order iberico ham, bread and butter, endive salad, crab with celery root (the best dish), squid ink fried rice with little bits of squid, steak with elderberry sauce. I order a Tito's martini, but I’m told they don’t serve Titos here. I’m told they have one martini with vodka that “tastes like smirnoff” ($22) and another with vodka that’s way better and far preferable (paraphrased) ($30). Our waitress is peppy. “We’ll take the Smirnoff,” David says. “She’s nice,” I say, later. “Domineering,” David says. Later, the waitress rolls her eyes a little when she asks me how my martini is. She smiles when I say good. I believe she is sincere in her hope that I’m happy as I guzzle up the fruits of my lowbrow taste. It really is a lovely meal. I don’t mean to be cynical. I tell David he should tell them it’s our anniversary so we can have something free, and he tells them “it’s our anniversary, can we have dessert on the house.” Then, I’m embarrassed, but they bring us dessert (with a price) and champagne (on the house). Tuesday, January 14 I’ve been working on maintaining constant motion. “An object in motion will stay in motion,” I’ve been telling anyone that will listen. I walk in place all day, and then I walk through Washington Square Park at night, freezing. I make sure to do an extra lap to circle under the arch, all sparkling and illuminated and icy. I’m thirty minutes late to the Post-Doomerism talk at Gonzo’s, and this feels like an important one to me because I used to base my entire framework of thought around mitigating dread through a surrender to the inevitability of fates worse than death. It’s a terrible way to view the world - juvenile if nothing else, but also aesthetically and morally barren, limiting, a nihilistic obsession with the present does lead to destruction (yourself and others), no matter how many delusions you harbor about enlightenment, and about time and therefore preservation as false constructs. You can’t be nihilistic if you believe in good and evil, and I do believe in good and evil, so it was never going to hold up. Post Doomerism The lecture is just starting when I exit the elevator. The talk is between Chris Small (founder of Amazon Labor Union), PradaHorseShoe (founder of Russian Cosmism Circle NYC), Joshua Citarella (Doomscroll Podcast), and Geo Yankey (Comedian) “Russian Cosmists think that Marx doesn't take it far enough,” Amana explains. “Marxism wants to abolish capitalism, religion, the family…. but what about abolishing the OG bummer - death.” The point of the talk seems to be to present a sort of leftist vision of tech accelerationism. Capitalist Realism, the parts of the industrial revolution deemed actually good, nuclear fusion (clean and limitless energy which imitates the sun) instead of nuclear fission, fossil fuels , etc etc etc. The audience, on the other hand, is mostly composed of people I recognize from other downtown events - this one taking on an uncharacteristic and somewhat academic sincerity. “Hypothetically, heat death could occur before we run out of fuel,” a girl sitting next to me murmurs at one point, evidently at least somewhat convinced by technology’s capacity for limitless good. I try to conjure a sense of what she’s imagining in my mind's eye - create enough clean energy, and you could be driving your car one day when the whole universe just implodes. This isn’t aspirational to me. Longevity even, has never been particularly aspirational to me, although increasingly moreso, I’m increasingly less cynical. I appreciate the sincerity of the lecture. I appreciate some of the ideas they put forward, too. It’s an irony-pilled audience and they're sitting in a deeply earnest room. I slip out during the Q&A - overwhelmed, honestly, and I’m late to another function. I’m handed a gin and tonic in the Lower East Side. I’m talking about the Russian Cosmism lecture. “Lenin tried that and 20 million people died,” I am told. “I don’t really know enough,” I say. I’m sent a documentary about The Tyranny of Scientism. I order some things like the books by Nick Zurnig and Mark Fisher. It’s good to be objective. The night slips onward. It’s rude to talk about accelerationism at a party. Wednesday, January 16 It's slightly warmer in New York today. It's still cold, but it's less frigid, I'm walking through Soho typing, I'm walking to Equinox, I'll finish writing this on the treadmill, I had such a fun night last night although I do feel terribly guilty about squandering my health and my beauty and my soul every time I get drunk. I was such a good drunk, though. I adore my friends so deeply. I adore my new friends. I think they are my best friends. I’m trying not to quantify everything. There are names of people I love spinning through my mind, now. Why order things. Some people exhaust me, and then there are other people who don’t. I’ve found new friends who live artfully while occupying a natural state that is absorbed with the physical world, recently. How lucky for me. I don’t want to use my volatility as a bludgeon with which to bend people to my whims. Good thing I don’t feel particularly volatile this week. It’s best to consider these while outside of them. Objective introspection: am I doing a good job? WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Gofundme + LA Fire Resources here. Sunday, January 19 From 6pm - midnight at EARTH — Jordan Castro and Cluny present SILENCE. An evening of silence. No speaking, no phones.

Burn my diaries

January 23, 2025 · Original source

The chalky pavement has turned to ice in the afternoon. Walking under the Washington Square arch on the way to Tibet House and its icier than ever. The ground is all glazed over. It’s the latest installment of the Arden Wohl’s reading series at Tibet House; Inauguration Edition this time. Madelyn is wearing a pink sweatshirt when I get there. Madelyn is telling me about knowing your own mind. Alex Auder reads about cock sucking and brings up a friend to read with her who enjoys the act, because she doesn't "I feel demeaned when I suck dick. I feel demeaned when I teach yoga," she says. She reads a story about a life in servitude to someone famous who reminds her of Donald Trump. Tonight is a night where as soon as I have one glass of wine, I wish I didn’t. The haze sets in, and I want it to clear. Beckett arrives. The readings are mostly good, but I’m jittery. I sit in the lobby and I eat some grapes and cheese, replace the wine with water. “Over the years I noticed from my overlord that peasants were increasingly behaving like they were nobles,” Alex Auder is saying, when I return. “There are more cameras than there are people in the world,” Gideon Jacobs is reading, later. I can’t stop drifting in and out of the room. I’m worried about some things, about some people. I get like this sometimes, and I wish I could get it to stop. I go to the bathroom and I return again, to a reading about Courtney Love. “She used to do water ballet and she was getting into the grateful dead.” “She lied a lot and never listened directly but she was a sponge - she takes a word from an incidental periphery and works it into her trope in real time. She’s that fast.” “She said she was born on my birthday; July 1st, but she was born a week later; July 8th” This is my type of lie, I’m thinking. A lie to please. False enchantment. It’s a juvenile compulsion, you mostly outgrow it, and if it was Courtney Love partaking then perhaps it was charming, but my visceral reaction is one of repulsion. Lizzi Bougatsos reads about Gary Indiana. She sits on the floor and she clips her toenails. “We shall mark memory with reverence,” Arden is saying. Beckett is telling me that it’s cool to be at a reading that’s an older crowd, and it is, it’s wine and cheese, there’s no disco party to follow. Beckett introduces me to his acquaintance from Paris. They are talking about Godot and prison sentences. Samuel Beckett gave his Nobel Prize money to a jail org, or was it prisone.org One time, there was a prison break after a performance of Godot. Madelyn is making tape formations on her phone with the other Lacanians. Lacan as separated from psychoanalysis. Lacan as applicable to real life. I’m just gleaning sentences. These ideas aren’t mine. Cigarette outside and then a burger at the orthodox Jewish establishment nearby. We forgot they can only do vegan cheese on burgers here. A lychee martini instead. They’re playing pop music so loud Wednesday, January 23 I hear my neighbors door shut as I’m poised to leave this morning. Decide, instead, to hover in the kitchen. We don't really like each other, my neighbor and I. Nothing was ever said, but there’s an underlying hostility. I have friends over too late, too often. The walls are thin. I'm glad to be waking up at the same time as the rest of the world, though. Sometimes - up all night, becoming manic around five am, this can be nice, but it's usually not. Normal hours. Normal cycles of day and night. The ice has come and smoothed everything over. Too cold to listen to music on my walk to school. I'm peeling off layers in an office, at the gym, the hallway of our apartment is becoming salty and dusted with the chalky snowstorm residue that first coated the surface of everything, and that now is starting to settle. Nothing is volatile. Such placidity, suddenly, but I’m not bored. All the calm in the world. Thank god. It really was about time. And so, you eat two chalky protein pop tarts on the bench at the gym. There are two girls with thick french accents in the locker room parallel to you. "He's a fucking retard, he only calls me at three am and it's only because he wants to sleep with my friends," says one of the girls. She's wearing a sherpa jacket. KHRISJOY, it says, in big red dripping letters. Spray paint imitation. You look it up - $2145 online. It's so ugly, but you're vaguely impressed. Of course you are. You're wearing a Versace sports bra that you bought for a music festival in high school. Absurd. The people watching here is good. The girl is still talking. She's so furious. "And he would be calling to sleep with me, but he knows he can't, fucking retard," she is saying. This version of the narration makes more sense - her rage rooted in something adjacent to jealousy. You gather your things. You gather your tote bags. It's too cold for so many bags. Your hands get numb out there. You're in a humid basement now, but you can't stay here forever. There's an artists talk tonight, but do you have it in you to attend? Cheese and sausage for dinner at home. I forgot about the dishes and I left the sink running for an hour. I’ve never known how to dress for the weather, but that doesn’t mean I mind the extremes. Today - my mother’s gloves, a borrowed Urbit hat from David, a beanie really, it looks insane but it’s too freezing for me to mind. More isn’t always more. More is often so, intolerably, annoying. I don’t want to wear a coat. My books arrive today. Mostly for school, plus one Ruby recommended. I’ll read them all - I’m glad that I have reason to. Salvador - Joan Didion The Company She Keeps - Mary McCarthy The Fire Next Time - James Baldwin Confessions - Saint Augustine The Situation and the Story - Vivian Gornic A Room of One’s Own - Virginia Woolf A Silent Woman - Janet Malcom Are You My Mother - Alison Bechdel The Argonauts - Maggie Nelson The Atrocity Exhibition - J. G. Ballard WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Thursday, January 23 From 6pm - 8pm at 61 Lispenard — Canada NY and Eighth House present Rest and Reprieve: A Window into Creative Solitude. Eighth House is “an interdisciplinary residency for artists and curators located in Central Vermont.” The exhibition serves as a benefit for this very special residency.

Inline links: Tibet House, Alex Auder, Gideon Jacobs, Lizzi Bougatsos, Arden, KHRISJOY, Salvador -, The Company She Keeps, The Fire Next Time, Confessions, The Situation and the Story, A Room of One’s Own, A Silent Woman, Are You My Mother, The Argonauts, The Atrocity Exhibition, Canada NY, Eighth House, Rest and Reprieve: A Window into Creative Solitude.

Dream Logic

February 03, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Sunday, January 26 Lying under red light at Ruby's apartment. The light here is all good - hanging infrared wires, silver orbs, all the lights seem incandescent. It's warmer today - walking through Little Italy there's a man on the fire escape looking down on the street with his dog, a big golden retriever, I like looking into other peoples lives like this. Earlier, lying on the couch in my own apartment, looking in our neighbors windows and at first it's absentminded but then I start to be intrigued. David says stop staring, they can see you staring, but I don't think they can. They can see me, sure, but the distinction between simply looking out the window or looking at them; impossible. You can't perceive eye movements from even a slight distance and anyways, if they see me looking at them, they admit they were looking at me, the gaze goes two ways, and so on... The last conference in El Salvador was all about Light, they told me on the phone on Friday. This year, it will be all about Earth. Ruby orders magnesium, orange juice, she swooshes coconut oil. These are good remedies. I take Advil, very rarely Adderall these days but still sometimes. I should be taking aspirin instead - this is what everyone says online, and what some people say in real life, too. I'm reading St Augustine's Confessions - mostly reading it for school, although I've been invited to discuss it on a Podcast as well. My track record with Podcasts is bleak, scary, and abysmal. My track record with Catholicism is - I never really went through that phase. I struggle to separate vanity from philosophy and prayer. I'm drawn to this part of Confessions most, things like "there is no pleasure in eating or drinking unless it is preceded by the discomfort of hunger and thirst.” Things like "Drunkards eat salty things to make their throats dry and painful, so that they may enjoy the pleasure of quenching their thirst.” Drawn to these, of course, because they elicit reflection on my own actions in the most vain and superficial sense of it all. Simone Weil Food Diary. Aliens and Anorexia. Like Grimes has been tweeting things like she found God to quit vaping. Hypnotize me instead, perhaps - it seems vulgar to attempt contemplation, and to end up here. Ruby and I walk to Flower Power in the East Village for; Wild Oat bromus ramosus (green). It does things like; “work as an expression of inner calling, manifestation of one’s true goals and values, work experiences motivated by a clear life purpose and conviction.” We go to Bar Oliver for vermouth tonic. Ruby makes me steak. David calls. Ruby and I watch Mulholland Drive - the first time for me. Only eleven pm and I usually sleep late, much later, but this red light casts a different glow. I'm closer to the ground in my friend’s apartment, no planes overhead and melting ice. I get homesick easily. In hours, really. But then, you can always go back. Monday, January 27 Perhaps you theme your days. On Health, you say. L-theanine with my coffee. Not really, but I’ll plan for this down the line. Bar Oliver is all lit up in piercing morning sun. I walk outside early this morning. Chinatown fruit market coming alive so quickly. There was a cemetery outside the window where I slept last night. I kept on looking out and seeing icy branches overhead that framed the building like a second roof, the cemetery like a courtyard. It scared me once, I screamed once in my sleep, but I woke up other times too, and it wasn't too bad then. Mostly, the sky outside just looked all pale blue and clear, the same pale blue all night in my memory, although this doesn't make sense in a logical way, what with the night passing and the becoming dark and the me being asleep for it all. Dream Logic. A recollection of slippery silvery vines forming an outline of a roof over a gravestone. You wake up, and there is no roof, the trees were never shaped like that at all. Tahini chocolate cookie because Ruby told me sugar is actually ok. Whole milk cappuccino and I'm adding honey instead of Splenda. Enough is enough. I'm not going to crash out, but days are different now that my hours don't float on and on in pacing and typing that becomes like a trance. I felt like I was floating yesterday. Not today. That's probably ok. Tuesday, January 28 Tea with Madelyn Grace and then hot apple cider and Jameson whiskey at Cafe Reggio last night. David and his friends came by and acted abrasive. I was annoyed, but then I wasn’t. I walked the Williamsburg Bridge this morning - all the way from The West Village to Brooklyn. Delancey street was crazy at that hour, but everything after that was nice. I’d never done this before - walk the bridge, I mean - and it went on for so much longer than I expected. At first it was all windy and it made me scared, how once you got on the bridge you really couldn’t get off, how in the center the only exit was to finish the walk or perhaps to blow over, and I was the only one there, people were biking by so fast but no one else was walking, so then I started to run, and so then it got all warm, the water in the Hudson looked nice and wild and churning and distant from up here. The thing is, this winter was mostly a practice in what I’m recalling like a meditation now, with even the slight perspective - now that it’s late January, that is. Everything was present, so hyper present, and all I did was walk and think and walk and walk and walk and write down what I was thinking about and sometimes I yelled a lot, and I know it’s still the depth of winter, but this time starts to feel like it is passing. I freaked out last week, I thought about what if I couldn’t keep my days like that, but my days still hold all of this, only now, they hold more too. At the gym, I write about how it is ok to just do things like - go for a walk, go to work, lie by the window with David, go to the gym, write a story, and these days can be good and even better than the other ones, the ones that snap you into fierce exteriority. After the gym, Cassidy texts me. “Are you at KGB?,” and I’m not, but I think, well, I would go. Augustine says - “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” Etc etc etc. I feel better when almost all my time is spent with people, and I think my mind is better like this, too. At KGB, I am dressed all in Pilates and Going-For-A-Jog type clothing. At KGB, Matthew is telling a girl about how Blade Runner the movie is based on a very antisemitic book. I've heard him tell this story before, and the gist varies each time, but there are a few lines that consistently resurface. I zone out after I hear the first line that I am sure I have heard before. When I zone back in, he's talking about religion more generally. "Really?," the girl he's with is saying. "Yes, YES," Matthew is saying “I looked up the history of the Blade Runner movie, and it said it was made around World War II," the girl is saying. “No, not at all," Matthew says “Oh,” the girl says “How did you like the rape scene?" Matthew asks “What rape scene?" the girl says “Oh that's good," Matthew says. There is new art on the wall of KGB. A rendition of Vermeer’s Girl With Pearl Earring, except in this case, the girl is a dog. “Do you like the new art?,” David asks. “Yes,” I say. “I don’t,” David says. I am picking at the wax on the candle, because everyone is talking and because I don’t have much to say. “Stop playing with fire,” the bartender tells me. “Act like you are at your mothers house.” Except - I mishear her. I think she says you aren’t at your mothers house, because she is right, I am not, but if I was; I would play with the flames as much as I liked. Wednesday, January 29 I would like to put away this phone, I think. Warmer, today. They’ve left the windows open at the coffee shop. I told you it was starting to feel like spring. I told you it would be all spring-like in the depth of winter, soon. Sunlight filtering, filtering, filtering, through the roof at home. The roof and the windows. It’s all one and the same. It’s a new moon tonight. Lunar New Year tonight. You put your head under the covers and filter out the sun. You like it because it is warm but also - the blue light of your phone can absorb your entire vision at any hour, here, in this makeshift tent. I am not of the Escape The Internet train of thought. It’s designed to addict you but then, well, having some fucking discipline. On my phone, I see people saying things like - “there is no ‘on your phone’, just another layer of constant consciousness”. And in real life I think things like - you should separate it if you can, you should know real life if you can but, to leave it all behind - impossible, because it will always be right there, and you could still do things like walk down the street and understand the street as purely physical but then, look around you, look at the other people, look at the surroundings they are absorbing and none of them are real, none of them are there, and so you can’t just stand on this street and get it, understand it, all offline. I don’t really want to get it anymore. My mornings could be real, they could be with just a little discipline and a touch of joie de vivre. They aren’t real, really, because I’m making makeshift Blue Light tents to filter out the sunlight, but then, I’m working on this. Blue, blue, blue sky today. Doomers previews, tonight. Biohacker meetup tonight. Bryan Johnson in Interview Magazine tonight. I like to do things like drink six teas with six Splenda each, and then I like to act very harsh with myself and others regarding the principles of a life well lived. Year of the snake. What do you think about that...? All this talk about discipline, and my afternoon is all drop off a few Depop packages and refresh, refresh, refresh the stats on a piece that I didn’t even write. There’s a hazy little run in the afternoon. There’s some bad news, or, news that is more irritating, really. Ruby spreads the word: "do not take my advice about eating lots of honey," she says. Ok. Ok, it's all protein now, then. David takes me to a strange party tonight. An interloper arrives, and he is chased out at sword point. It is insane how quickly the tides turn. You said the things that you didn’t mean, again. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but then, it never is. You wrote today, earlier, about how - things were good, better, but you didn't want to get too cocky because remember what you were capable of really not too long ago, it was only a few weeks back, but it felt so distant. And then, tonight, again... Thursday, January 30 And then it's ok. Well, it's not, but it can be. You’ve been taking for granted that it will be ok, if it has to be ok. That if you care about something so, so, so deeply then it cannot possibly be destroyed, but it could, you are capable of this. It feels foreign sometimes, this force, this capacity for destruction, like it can’t belong to you, but it does, it’s no one else’s. It becomes simple, then. You can’t just say I crossed my fingers, you can’t just say I take it back. And so, no more. I'm working the door at Tense tonight, which is my favorite - both TENSE, and working doors, that is. It’s a beautiful night, and this, after everything, is a relief. Christian Lorentzen reads emails with Gary Indiana. “I now believe you can tell if the writer is part of a writing program, by looking at their teeth,” Gary told Christian. "Why does everybody love Downton Abbey?" Gary asked Christian, in another email. "Well, what's not to love? The series construction is so glibly subscribed that you know what will happen before the writers do." In another, he lamented the logistical problems surrounding his writings on Cuba - the travel ban, his lover there, etc etc etc. It's a good format for a reading - the emails thing. Correspondences brought to life. Not quite a diary, but close, more intimate, often, because one isn't writing into the void of one's own neurosis in a correspondence. Madelyn writes me an email, after. I am working on my own correspondence back, still. Mania delays the process. It's good to have a long form conversation to return to. I hope this email finds you well. This email finds me almost incapacitated, but I won't be, soon. Beckett's reading is full of empathy and wit as always. He's lamenting the narcissism of our times in his introductory speech, and his own gut impulses and the stories that follow give him the proper wherewithal to do so. I see Sean Lynch and others outside. Sean writes something nice on the evening. I see Doomers the next day - the dream logic of my thoughts following this production requiring another letter altogether WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, February 4 From 7pm at Heaven Can't Wait — Cynosure presents the first of a two night fundraiser for Los Angeles, featuring Alex Arthur, Precious Human, Truman Flyer, and more.

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x0cE!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F026ee05a-c657-489d-aa34-250f7bb7d7e5_1144x1394.png, St Augustine's, Simone Weil Food Diary, Aliens and Anorexia, Flower Power, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_dvK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff3b06e0c-2cb1-4c11-b33e-544c9ef7c39b_1182x1308.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cTIp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe004f5e9-d687-454c-a636-8a531bd50877_1162x1422.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QvaR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4e1cff43-2649-4fd5-b2c0-12597c68d64c_1179x639.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SwKw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcb9eb097-5814-48e3-9eee-e66c559d15b5_1200x1600.jpeg, Bryan Johnson in, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!EgQz!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1cb85ea0-de00-4d10-b03e-ae375da5ddef_1179x642.jpeg, something nice on the evening, Heaven Can't Wait, Cynosure

I'm reading St Augustine's Confessions - mostly reading it for school, although I've been invited to discuss it on a Podcast as well. My track record with Podcasts is bleak, scary, and abysmal. My track record with Catholicism is - I never really went through that phase. I struggle to separate vanity from philosophy and prayer. I'm drawn to this part of Confessions most, things like "there is no pleasure in eating or drinking unless it is preceded by the discomfort of hunger and thirst.” Things like "Drunkards eat salty things to make their throats dry and painful, so that they may enjoy the pleasure of quenching their thirst.” Drawn to these, of course, because they elicit reflection on my own actions in the most vain and superficial sense of it all. Simone Weil Food Diary. Aliens and Anorexia. Like Grimes has been tweeting things like she found God to quit vaping. Hypnotize me instead, perhaps - it seems vulgar to attempt contemplation, and to end up here. Ruby and I walk to Flower Power in the East Village for; Wild Oat bromus ramosus (green). It does things like; “work as an expression of inner calling, manifestation of one’s true goals and values, work experiences motivated by a clear life purpose and conviction.” We go to Bar Oliver for vermouth tonic. Ruby makes me steak. David calls. Ruby and I watch Mulholland Drive - the first time for me. Only eleven pm and I usually sleep late, much later, but this red light casts a different glow. I'm closer to the ground in my friend’s apartment, no planes overhead and melting ice. I get homesick easily. In hours, really. But then, you can always go back. Monday, January 27 Perhaps you theme your days. On Health, you say. L-theanine with my coffee. Not really, but I’ll plan for this down the line. Bar Oliver is all lit up in piercing morning sun. I walk outside early this morning. Chinatown fruit market coming alive so quickly. There was a cemetery outside the window where I slept last night. I kept on looking out and seeing icy branches overhead that framed the building like a second roof, the cemetery like a courtyard. It scared me once, I screamed once in my sleep, but I woke up other times too, and it wasn't too bad then. Mostly, the sky outside just looked all pale blue and clear, the same pale blue all night in my memory, although this doesn't make sense in a logical way, what with the night passing and the becoming dark and the me being asleep for it all. Dream Logic. A recollection of slippery silvery vines forming an outline of a roof over a gravestone. You wake up, and there is no roof, the trees were never shaped like that at all. Tahini chocolate cookie because Ruby told me sugar is actually ok. Whole milk cappuccino and I'm adding honey instead of Splenda. Enough is enough. I'm not going to crash out, but days are different now that my hours don't float on and on in pacing and typing that becomes like a trance. I felt like I was floating yesterday. Not today. That's probably ok. Tuesday, January 28 Tea with Madelyn Grace and then hot apple cider and Jameson whiskey at Cafe Reggio last night. David and his friends came by and acted abrasive. I was annoyed, but then I wasn’t. I walked the Williamsburg Bridge this morning - all the way from The West Village to Brooklyn. Delancey street was crazy at that hour, but everything after that was nice. I’d never done this before - walk the bridge, I mean - and it went on for so much longer than I expected. At first it was all windy and it made me scared, how once you got on the bridge you really couldn’t get off, how in the center the only exit was to finish the walk or perhaps to blow over, and I was the only one there, people were biking by so fast but no one else was walking, so then I started to run, and so then it got all warm, the water in the Hudson looked nice and wild and churning and distant from up here. The thing is, this winter was mostly a practice in what I’m recalling like a meditation now, with even the slight perspective - now that it’s late January, that is. Everything was present, so hyper present, and all I did was walk and think and walk and walk and walk and write down what I was thinking about and sometimes I yelled a lot, and I know it’s still the depth of winter, but this time starts to feel like it is passing. I freaked out last week, I thought about what if I couldn’t keep my days like that, but my days still hold all of this, only now, they hold more too. At the gym, I write about how it is ok to just do things like - go for a walk, go to work, lie by the window with David, go to the gym, write a story, and these days can be good and even better than the other ones, the ones that snap you into fierce exteriority. After the gym, Cassidy texts me. “Are you at KGB?,” and I’m not, but I think, well, I would go. Augustine says - “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” Etc etc etc. I feel better when almost all my time is spent with people, and I think my mind is better like this, too. At KGB, I am dressed all in Pilates and Going-For-A-Jog type clothing. At KGB, Matthew is telling a girl about how Blade Runner the movie is based on a very antisemitic book. I've heard him tell this story before, and the gist varies each time, but there are a few lines that consistently resurface. I zone out after I hear the first line that I am sure I have heard before. When I zone back in, he's talking about religion more generally. "Really?," the girl he's with is saying. "Yes, YES," Matthew is saying “I looked up the history of the Blade Runner movie, and it said it was made around World War II," the girl is saying. “No, not at all," Matthew says “Oh,” the girl says “How did you like the rape scene?" Matthew asks “What rape scene?" the girl says “Oh that's good," Matthew says. There is new art on the wall of KGB. A rendition of Vermeer’s Girl With Pearl Earring, except in this case, the girl is a dog. “Do you like the new art?,” David asks. “Yes,” I say. “I don’t,” David says. I am picking at the wax on the candle, because everyone is talking and because I don’t have much to say. “Stop playing with fire,” the bartender tells me. “Act like you are at your mothers house.” Except - I mishear her. I think she says you aren’t at your mothers house, because she is right, I am not, but if I was; I would play with the flames as much as I liked. Wednesday, January 29 I would like to put away this phone, I think. Warmer, today. They’ve left the windows open at the coffee shop. I told you it was starting to feel like spring. I told you it would be all spring-like in the depth of winter, soon. Sunlight filtering, filtering, filtering, through the roof at home. The roof and the windows. It’s all one and the same. It’s a new moon tonight. Lunar New Year tonight. You put your head under the covers and filter out the sun. You like it because it is warm but also - the blue light of your phone can absorb your entire vision at any hour, here, in this makeshift tent. I am not of the Escape The Internet train of thought. It’s designed to addict you but then, well, having some fucking discipline. On my phone, I see people saying things like - “there is no ‘on your phone’, just another layer of constant consciousness”. And in real life I think things like - you should separate it if you can, you should know real life if you can but, to leave it all behind - impossible, because it will always be right there, and you could still do things like walk down the street and understand the street as purely physical but then, look around you, look at the other people, look at the surroundings they are absorbing and none of them are real, none of them are there, and so you can’t just stand on this street and get it, understand it, all offline. I don’t really want to get it anymore. My mornings could be real, they could be with just a little discipline and a touch of joie de vivre. They aren’t real, really, because I’m making makeshift Blue Light tents to filter out the sunlight, but then, I’m working on this. Blue, blue, blue sky today. Doomers previews, tonight. Biohacker meetup tonight. Bryan Johnson in Interview Magazine tonight. I like to do things like drink six teas with six Splenda each, and then I like to act very harsh with myself and others regarding the principles of a life well lived. Year of the snake. What do you think about that...? All this talk about discipline, and my afternoon is all drop off a few Depop packages and refresh, refresh, refresh the stats on a piece that I didn’t even write. There’s a hazy little run in the afternoon. There’s some bad news, or, news that is more irritating, really. Ruby spreads the word: "do not take my advice about eating lots of honey," she says. Ok. Ok, it's all protein now, then. David takes me to a strange party tonight. An interloper arrives, and he is chased out at sword point. It is insane how quickly the tides turn. You said the things that you didn’t mean, again. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but then, it never is. You wrote today, earlier, about how - things were good, better, but you didn't want to get too cocky because remember what you were capable of really not too long ago, it was only a few weeks back, but it felt so distant. And then, tonight, again... Thursday, January 30 And then it's ok. Well, it's not, but it can be. You’ve been taking for granted that it will be ok, if it has to be ok. That if you care about something so, so, so deeply then it cannot possibly be destroyed, but it could, you are capable of this. It feels foreign sometimes, this force, this capacity for destruction, like it can’t belong to you, but it does, it’s no one else’s. It becomes simple, then. You can’t just say I crossed my fingers, you can’t just say I take it back. And so, no more. I'm working the door at Tense tonight, which is my favorite - both TENSE, and working doors, that is. It’s a beautiful night, and this, after everything, is a relief. Christian Lorentzen reads emails with Gary Indiana. “I now believe you can tell if the writer is part of a writing program, by looking at their teeth,” Gary told Christian. "Why does everybody love Downton Abbey?" Gary asked Christian, in another email. "Well, what's not to love? The series construction is so glibly subscribed that you know what will happen before the writers do." In another, he lamented the logistical problems surrounding his writings on Cuba - the travel ban, his lover there, etc etc etc. It's a good format for a reading - the emails thing. Correspondences brought to life. Not quite a diary, but close, more intimate, often, because one isn't writing into the void of one's own neurosis in a correspondence. Madelyn writes me an email, after. I am working on my own correspondence back, still. Mania delays the process. It's good to have a long form conversation to return to. I hope this email finds you well. This email finds me almost incapacitated, but I won't be, soon. Beckett's reading is full of empathy and wit as always. He's lamenting the narcissism of our times in his introductory speech, and his own gut impulses and the stories that follow give him the proper wherewithal to do so. I see Sean Lynch and others outside. Sean writes something nice on the evening. I see Doomers the next day - the dream logic of my thoughts following this production requiring another letter altogether WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, February 4 From 7pm at Heaven Can't Wait — Cynosure presents the first of a two night fundraiser for Los Angeles, featuring Alex Arthur, Precious Human, Truman Flyer, and more.

Inline links: St Augustine's, Simone Weil Food Diary, Aliens and Anorexia, Flower Power, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_dvK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff3b06e0c-2cb1-4c11-b33e-544c9ef7c39b_1182x1308.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cTIp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe004f5e9-d687-454c-a636-8a531bd50877_1162x1422.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QvaR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4e1cff43-2649-4fd5-b2c0-12597c68d64c_1179x639.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SwKw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcb9eb097-5814-48e3-9eee-e66c559d15b5_1200x1600.jpeg, Bryan Johnson in, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!EgQz!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1cb85ea0-de00-4d10-b03e-ae375da5ddef_1179x642.jpeg, something nice on the evening, Heaven Can't Wait, Cynosure

We go to Bar Oliver for vermouth tonic. Ruby makes me steak. David calls. Ruby and I watch Mulholland Drive - the first time for me. Only eleven pm and I usually sleep late, much later, but this red light casts a different glow. I'm closer to the ground in my friend’s apartment, no planes overhead and melting ice. I get homesick easily. In hours, really. But then, you can always go back. Monday, January 27 Perhaps you theme your days. On Health, you say. L-theanine with my coffee. Not really, but I’ll plan for this down the line. Bar Oliver is all lit up in piercing morning sun. I walk outside early this morning. Chinatown fruit market coming alive so quickly. There was a cemetery outside the window where I slept last night. I kept on looking out and seeing icy branches overhead that framed the building like a second roof, the cemetery like a courtyard. It scared me once, I screamed once in my sleep, but I woke up other times too, and it wasn't too bad then. Mostly, the sky outside just looked all pale blue and clear, the same pale blue all night in my memory, although this doesn't make sense in a logical way, what with the night passing and the becoming dark and the me being asleep for it all. Dream Logic. A recollection of slippery silvery vines forming an outline of a roof over a gravestone. You wake up, and there is no roof, the trees were never shaped like that at all. Tahini chocolate cookie because Ruby told me sugar is actually ok. Whole milk cappuccino and I'm adding honey instead of Splenda. Enough is enough. I'm not going to crash out, but days are different now that my hours don't float on and on in pacing and typing that becomes like a trance. I felt like I was floating yesterday. Not today. That's probably ok. Tuesday, January 28 Tea with Madelyn Grace and then hot apple cider and Jameson whiskey at Cafe Reggio last night. David and his friends came by and acted abrasive. I was annoyed, but then I wasn’t. I walked the Williamsburg Bridge this morning - all the way from The West Village to Brooklyn. Delancey street was crazy at that hour, but everything after that was nice. I’d never done this before - walk the bridge, I mean - and it went on for so much longer than I expected. At first it was all windy and it made me scared, how once you got on the bridge you really couldn’t get off, how in the center the only exit was to finish the walk or perhaps to blow over, and I was the only one there, people were biking by so fast but no one else was walking, so then I started to run, and so then it got all warm, the water in the Hudson looked nice and wild and churning and distant from up here. The thing is, this winter was mostly a practice in what I’m recalling like a meditation now, with even the slight perspective - now that it’s late January, that is. Everything was present, so hyper present, and all I did was walk and think and walk and walk and walk and write down what I was thinking about and sometimes I yelled a lot, and I know it’s still the depth of winter, but this time starts to feel like it is passing. I freaked out last week, I thought about what if I couldn’t keep my days like that, but my days still hold all of this, only now, they hold more too. At the gym, I write about how it is ok to just do things like - go for a walk, go to work, lie by the window with David, go to the gym, write a story, and these days can be good and even better than the other ones, the ones that snap you into fierce exteriority. After the gym, Cassidy texts me. “Are you at KGB?,” and I’m not, but I think, well, I would go. Augustine says - “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” Etc etc etc. I feel better when almost all my time is spent with people, and I think my mind is better like this, too. At KGB, I am dressed all in Pilates and Going-For-A-Jog type clothing. At KGB, Matthew is telling a girl about how Blade Runner the movie is based on a very antisemitic book. I've heard him tell this story before, and the gist varies each time, but there are a few lines that consistently resurface. I zone out after I hear the first line that I am sure I have heard before. When I zone back in, he's talking about religion more generally. "Really?," the girl he's with is saying. "Yes, YES," Matthew is saying “I looked up the history of the Blade Runner movie, and it said it was made around World War II," the girl is saying. “No, not at all," Matthew says “Oh,” the girl says “How did you like the rape scene?" Matthew asks “What rape scene?" the girl says “Oh that's good," Matthew says. There is new art on the wall of KGB. A rendition of Vermeer’s Girl With Pearl Earring, except in this case, the girl is a dog. “Do you like the new art?,” David asks. “Yes,” I say. “I don’t,” David says. I am picking at the wax on the candle, because everyone is talking and because I don’t have much to say. “Stop playing with fire,” the bartender tells me. “Act like you are at your mothers house.” Except - I mishear her. I think she says you aren’t at your mothers house, because she is right, I am not, but if I was; I would play with the flames as much as I liked. Wednesday, January 29 I would like to put away this phone, I think. Warmer, today. They’ve left the windows open at the coffee shop. I told you it was starting to feel like spring. I told you it would be all spring-like in the depth of winter, soon. Sunlight filtering, filtering, filtering, through the roof at home. The roof and the windows. It’s all one and the same. It’s a new moon tonight. Lunar New Year tonight. You put your head under the covers and filter out the sun. You like it because it is warm but also - the blue light of your phone can absorb your entire vision at any hour, here, in this makeshift tent. I am not of the Escape The Internet train of thought. It’s designed to addict you but then, well, having some fucking discipline. On my phone, I see people saying things like - “there is no ‘on your phone’, just another layer of constant consciousness”. And in real life I think things like - you should separate it if you can, you should know real life if you can but, to leave it all behind - impossible, because it will always be right there, and you could still do things like walk down the street and understand the street as purely physical but then, look around you, look at the other people, look at the surroundings they are absorbing and none of them are real, none of them are there, and so you can’t just stand on this street and get it, understand it, all offline. I don’t really want to get it anymore. My mornings could be real, they could be with just a little discipline and a touch of joie de vivre. They aren’t real, really, because I’m making makeshift Blue Light tents to filter out the sunlight, but then, I’m working on this. Blue, blue, blue sky today. Doomers previews, tonight. Biohacker meetup tonight. Bryan Johnson in Interview Magazine tonight. I like to do things like drink six teas with six Splenda each, and then I like to act very harsh with myself and others regarding the principles of a life well lived. Year of the snake. What do you think about that...? All this talk about discipline, and my afternoon is all drop off a few Depop packages and refresh, refresh, refresh the stats on a piece that I didn’t even write. There’s a hazy little run in the afternoon. There’s some bad news, or, news that is more irritating, really. Ruby spreads the word: "do not take my advice about eating lots of honey," she says. Ok. Ok, it's all protein now, then. David takes me to a strange party tonight. An interloper arrives, and he is chased out at sword point. It is insane how quickly the tides turn. You said the things that you didn’t mean, again. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but then, it never is. You wrote today, earlier, about how - things were good, better, but you didn't want to get too cocky because remember what you were capable of really not too long ago, it was only a few weeks back, but it felt so distant. And then, tonight, again... Thursday, January 30 And then it's ok. Well, it's not, but it can be. You’ve been taking for granted that it will be ok, if it has to be ok. That if you care about something so, so, so deeply then it cannot possibly be destroyed, but it could, you are capable of this. It feels foreign sometimes, this force, this capacity for destruction, like it can’t belong to you, but it does, it’s no one else’s. It becomes simple, then. You can’t just say I crossed my fingers, you can’t just say I take it back. And so, no more. I'm working the door at Tense tonight, which is my favorite - both TENSE, and working doors, that is. It’s a beautiful night, and this, after everything, is a relief. Christian Lorentzen reads emails with Gary Indiana. “I now believe you can tell if the writer is part of a writing program, by looking at their teeth,” Gary told Christian. "Why does everybody love Downton Abbey?" Gary asked Christian, in another email. "Well, what's not to love? The series construction is so glibly subscribed that you know what will happen before the writers do." In another, he lamented the logistical problems surrounding his writings on Cuba - the travel ban, his lover there, etc etc etc. It's a good format for a reading - the emails thing. Correspondences brought to life. Not quite a diary, but close, more intimate, often, because one isn't writing into the void of one's own neurosis in a correspondence. Madelyn writes me an email, after. I am working on my own correspondence back, still. Mania delays the process. It's good to have a long form conversation to return to. I hope this email finds you well. This email finds me almost incapacitated, but I won't be, soon. Beckett's reading is full of empathy and wit as always. He's lamenting the narcissism of our times in his introductory speech, and his own gut impulses and the stories that follow give him the proper wherewithal to do so. I see Sean Lynch and others outside. Sean writes something nice on the evening. I see Doomers the next day - the dream logic of my thoughts following this production requiring another letter altogether WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, February 4 From 7pm at Heaven Can't Wait — Cynosure presents the first of a two night fundraiser for Los Angeles, featuring Alex Arthur, Precious Human, Truman Flyer, and more.

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cTIp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe004f5e9-d687-454c-a636-8a531bd50877_1162x1422.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QvaR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4e1cff43-2649-4fd5-b2c0-12597c68d64c_1179x639.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SwKw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcb9eb097-5814-48e3-9eee-e66c559d15b5_1200x1600.jpeg, Bryan Johnson in, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!EgQz!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1cb85ea0-de00-4d10-b03e-ae375da5ddef_1179x642.jpeg, something nice on the evening, Heaven Can't Wait, Cynosure

February Dining.

February 10, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, February 3 I think I will spend some nights alone in the apartment, actually, this week. I think I will give myself some peace, then. Yes, this is good, this is what you should do. And I will call David who will be in Paris, and I will see my friends and I will go to school, I will walk across the Williamsburg Bridge by myself in the mornings, I will run sometimes, and write sometimes, and I will be all alone but I will have my friends to see, David to call, and on the weekend there will be my family, and it will all reset me in a way that is pure and nice and I am craving. Ok, tomorrow, then. So, today, then, you begin the morning with the collecting of the self. You have been doing everything one should do, yes - water, lemon, ginger, avocado, salmon, the apartment is messy but not too bad, you are mostly on time, liquor sometimes in excess but you are not a child anymore, not mostly, mostly it's ok. You stay up late, but this is not too bad. You have never spent the night in a house alone before, never, not even once, in a hotel a few times but never in a place that you must enter, unlock, remember to lock again behind you. I'm terrified of many things, really. You might not know this meeting me but then, I give away a lot. I said I had no object permanence. I said this for a while, but I stopped meaning it around April. I stopped saying it around then, too. I have so much object permanence these days. You know this, because you notice how one detail is not as you remember it, and suddenly all you want is for everything, everything, everything to be restored. There was a wonderful dinner last night. The best in a while, really. We returned to The Knickerbocker, and you wonder, then, why you ever go anywhere else - the quiet dark wood dining room, not quite cavernous but certainly not small, the liquor on the grand piano, that huge t-bone steak, enough to serve a family, creamed spinach, french fries with the sauce from the meat au poivre, jazz on Sundays, tea, coffee, no martinis tonight but those are excellent too. Why did we ever go out for small plates? It is so much more special here. Raining, outside. The rain turns to snow. Yellow cab home. It feels nice, yes, to leave things on terms like these. Tuesday, February 4 Silver light in the morning. Ruby say’s - “it’s spring outside,” and I haven’t been waiting for things to melt, but I am not too sad now that this defrosting has started. I am really not too sad today. You wake up, you see silver light, you see curtains, the apartment felt eerie and so you walked over here, there are friends to call, you did not sleep too well but the paralysis has stopped and even this, the drama of it all, the sleep paralysis has stopped, and so this dread of isolation becomes absurd. Bright morning. You walk to get coffee. This spot is called Dreamer, Ruby says. You walk the Williamsburg Bridge. It's warmer this time, busier this time. David calls - there is mayhem in Paris, but he will be ok. Green tea. Lemon loaf. Protein bar. You have stopped being cruel, now you must stop eating sugar. I am very tired today. I don’t mean it to sound all like I’m disassociated. I was, for a moment. I came back down to Earth. I called my dad after Doomers last week. “This is what I'm afraid of,” I said. Then, I told him what I was afraid of. “There's a great show called The Twilight Zone,” my dad said. “I know,” I said. “In The Twilight Zone, there is an episode with a preserved floating brain,” my dad said. “And you watch this disembodied consciousness preserved and stuck forever, and you think, well this is the worst thing imaginable.” “Yes,”I said. “This is what I am afraid of.” It is less the AI of it all being preserved forever in the absence of animal beings that is so scary, I think. More so, it’s this merging with humanity, this always merging merging merging with humanity, and then you are stuck, and then the possibilities become limitless. Wednesday, February 5 Deep familiarity is many different things at many different moments, I am told today. I kind of disagree. I think there is a core of things. Actually, I really disagree. I really think that there is a core of things. New album by Desire today. New dress on my doorstep. I wake up in an apartment that is briefly all mine. Where were you a year ago today, my friends were asking at dinner yesterday. It's a reasonably interesting thing to consider. I like it best when a year ago feels very distant. Me - I was at KGB Bar. A stranger took the photo. I look very morose. In my memory I was very nervous, and also, I was very pleased. On a walk, trying to write, trying to pour out the sludge, seeking clarity - "I do not feel like writing a whole fucking retrospective every time I try to journal," I write. I am sorry all my details seem crude today. Rules for solitude are - pace in circles, pace on the treadmill, do not be combative in conversation with strangers, do not eavesdrop, sometimes you will not like what you hear. They are talking about murder suicide at pilates, the girl at pilates owned an animal shelter and her star employee murder suicided himself and his girlfriend. You know that cute blonde blogger, she is saying. She was the girlfriend. The guy seemed nice. You never know. Rules for solitude are do not listen to these things, stop listening to these things, you’re going to freak out if you keep on listening to these things. Later, I'm only here to pick up a phone charger, but there's a whole wall of people reading poems about bitter cynicism in this conference room. I apologize for my bitter cynicism, the woman reading is saying, and I hate being in these buildings after dark, I hate the corporate flair to these things. Powerade Zero on the desks. I would like to go lurk in a Chinatown basement. I would like to write an Alt Lit Novel. I would like to be very, very rude. "Would you like to read a list of people who have been censored," a woman at this strange event asks me. "Have you seen a phone charger?" I ask the women. "Now is not the time to be nihilistic," Madelyn’s friend told her yesterday, and I’m not nihilistic, and I'm sorry, and I'm really sorry, and I really really really need to leave now. Thursday, February 6 Ice and snow over my glass house this morning. I heard the sharp rain in the night. I am not surprised it froze over. I am enjoying waking up with - nowhere to go, no one to see. I wouldn't enjoy it for long, but it’s not too bad for now. Walking through this empty apartment and the only sound is me, and then ice falling off the roof overhead. It’s not a big deal, really, and I'm acting a little delusional and insane about the weight of it all, but it's just that I have never done this before - woken up in a building with no one to greet me. And I have tucked my phone far away so that the solitude can feel more complete. And I have cleaned the apartment, top to bottom. I've wrapped an old scarf all around my face and then I've gone for a walk - no matter that the streets are frozen. I do like the ice. I'm sorry. I do. I hope it lasts. The night is swirling and nice. I forgot to take note. Friday, February 7 My parents are here, and I am glowing with the happiness of it. Start the day slowly. I’ve become a bit reckless. I’ll do the dishes. I’ll take out the trash. Intrinsically sloppy, and I wish I wasn’t. When left to my own devices, a descent into chaos is not entirely inevitable. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Monday, February 10 From 7pm - 9pm at Virginia’s — Date Time thinks it’s not too late to find a valentine. The three girls behind a new Feed Me featured speed dating endeavor present their second event, featuring two 45 min rounds of mingling. - “Everyone meets everyone, so get ready to meet a lover, a friend, or perhaps an enemy.” $5 ticket required for entry (proceeds to Direct Relief in LA), and 1 drink minimum to date.

Inline links: The Knickerbocker, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!jT0J!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa10ab1b7-6b48-4c06-bc6b-0fb7469a4168_1179x652.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!P3e1!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb447089e-a6d6-4835-9402-c87fbc6be315_1200x1600.jpeg, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uWjI!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd9c23aa1-399d-4139-beee-26b409d77757_909x608.jpeg, Virginia’s, Date Time, Feed Me featured

Riley5 mentions across 5 issues

Riley is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 5 times across 5 issues between December 09, 2024 and March 06, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Riley and I go to Fanelli's for dinner"; "Riley texted me when I was just too far from her apartment to turn back last night"; "the flyers in Riley's lobby say". It most often appears alongside El Salvador, Los Angeles, Massachusetts.

Article page: Riley
Mention count: 5
Issue count: 5
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: March 06, 2026
Instagram handle: @rileyxmacx

Outbound links

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024
End of the Cold Front January 27, 2025
Drinking Dreams September 04, 2025
City Built on Crystals September 09, 2025
Humanoid-Robots March 06, 2026

El Salvador 3 shared issues
Los Angeles 3 shared issues
Massachusetts 3 shared issues
New York 3 shared issues
New York City 3 shared issues

Source context

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CEI2!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe956e9be-2073-42ec-8943-74e226bc24bf_1518x850.png, The Thing Is, Jean’s, It’s A Wonderful Life, Delaney Rowe, Julia Shiplett, Jake Cornell, Rebounder

December 09, 2024 · Original source

Tuesday, December 2 Riley and I go to Fanelli’s for dinner. Club sandwich and martini. I haven't felt removed from social activity or the desire for extroversion lately. To the contrary, I've been wanting very suddenly to connect very deeply with old friends. I want to go to Florida and drink Virgin Pina Coladas. I did that in college. I had so much fun when I did that in college. Can I come if you go to Florida this year, I ask Riley. Yes, she says I think we should go. I make a vlog with David. It's so much fun. David says I can't post the vlog, but then I edit it with Slavic music and then he says ok fine. I've felt an aversion to parties that place themselves at things like The Intersection Of Culture and Nightlife lately. I don't like when people who immerse themselves in these things express cynicism or borderline disgust towards a Scene. I feel immensely grateful for a community with adjacency to and/or aspirations towards art. I like readings. I like gestures towards intimacy, even false intimacy, even social climbing intimacy. I like that these things stem from something other than voyeurism, despite their tendencies towards voyeuristic or pseudo intellectual descent. But, I can't bring myself to attend. You haven't seen me in weeks. Not that anyone is counting. Not that I'm even counting, except it's hard to find things to comment on outside of Myself when I'm keeping close quarters. So bored by brooding. I could do something like Get Arrested. I could do something like Make A Gift Guide. David's friend calls him. "Do you want to go to KGB," he asks. "No," says David. "I'll go," I say. "Do you want to take Chloe to KGB for me?” David asks. “No,” his friend says, “she's kind of a dud socially." David takes his headphones out. "He says you're kind of a dud socially," "I'll see her six days in a row and it’s just her, and when I finally don’t see her, Chloe has a party with all her beautiful friends," he says. Then he lists out all my beautiful friends. We don't go to KGB. Wednesday, December 3 I stay inside for most of the day, that's what I assume you do when there's a man hunt. I remember the Boston Marathon bombing. I’d canoed there on the Charles River with my dad, and after we left the race safe and sound we learned that no one was allowed outside for days. They eventually found the guy in the hull of someone else's boat. Some different suburb. I assume that it’s the same today, but the UnitedHealthcare Assassin proves to be less of a threat to public safety. I go outside around two pm. SoHo is booming. Back inside, it starts to snow. I can see it through the greenhouse ceiling. David reads me transcripts of conversations he’s overheard in coffee shops. It would be hard to fake real coffee shop gossip, we both agree. There's a strangeness, a nonsense almost, in the overheard familiarity of conversations among people you don't know. The snow has come with wind, and I can see an umbrella on the roof above swinging wildly. I worry it will come crashing through. I worry that wind and icy pebbles of snow and shattered glass and the sphere of the umbrella stick are all about to crash down on me. The snow is thick and icy, but it’s melting as it lands on the glass and so there is no noise. I kind of think the snow looks like nuclear fallout. I almost say this out loud, but then I think that wouldn’t be very pleasant. David gets a text that “It’s snowing!!” and he rolls his eyes. “I don’t find whimsy in snow,” he says. “I do,” I say. Of course I do. Thursday, December 4 It's a strange week. I keep grasping for some concrete sense of how things make sense. I was acting insane last week, but now I am not. I was floating in space last week, but now I have mental and physical clarity. Things are never that simple. Acting Insane tends to happen in waves. The truth of it is, my sense of stagnation comes largely from the fact that I am acting very stagnant. It also stems from my phone and from things like staying up all night. We go to Sarabeth’s for dinner. They have happy hour now. I don't like to eat or drink early, and while I’m quite familiar with the concept of happy hour, I feel like I'm discovering it for myself for the first time. I'd like to order all the eight dollar cocktails, the shrimp, the deviled eggs. We’re sitting at the bar and it's cozy even though it smells slightly like cleaning supplies. Sterile in an old school way. This is not something I hate. The Greenwich Village Sarabeth’s just opened down the street. I like the Upper West Side Sarabeth’s because I would go every year on my half birthday as a child. We would go to The Central Park Zoo and then to Sarabeth’s. It wasn't as spoiled or superfluous as it sounds. It was just a nice tradition. Today, Sarabeth’s is nice until it isn't - a slow crescendo into an unhappy hour as the three to five pm menu is swapped out for normal prices. So, I stay up all night and reconsider if I have rediscovered mental and physical clarity after all. I call my friend and she says I have literally no idea what you mean by that. But I don't think I'm just using buzzwords. Clarity is the prerequisite to everything else. This makes sense to me. Next week is all the holiday parties in the world. I like this time the best. I'll go to the tree at Rockefeller tonight. I'll go to The Central Park Zoo. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO It’s the busiest week of the year… choose your ventures wisely. Monday, December 9 From 7:30pm — The Thing Is returns to Jean’s. This month's show (It’s A Wonderful Life) will star Delaney Rowe, Julia Shiplett, Jake Cornell, and Rebounder.

End of the Cold Front

January 27, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Thursday, January 23 It was past midnight and there would be a morning tomorrow, an early one for once, I set an alarm. I was walking past KGB and it was still bitter cold. It hadn't gotten any warmer yet. No one milling on the steps so the place felt desolate but there was no way to really tell for sure without entering. You'd be out of your mind to loiter in this weather. The people were probably all inside. Everyone I know in New York, clustered in the Red Room like sardines. The KGB sign was all red and lit up, frost and ice crystallizing around it at a slight distance from the letters. The letters themselves were clear - incandescent heat off their light melting the ice in direct contact before it could solidify. Riley texted me when I was just too far from her apartment to turn back last night: "You left your Urbit hat. Do you want it?" "I do but later," I said. "lol," I said I didn't even consider stopping. Not last night. The hat isn't even mine. Later, I'll retrieve it later. Each day that the cold front continues, I am enjoying it more and more. The tundra is so visceral. I hope we can stay like this, for a while at least. And so, it is morning. You're up early. David is still sick but you've continued to avoid whatever he’s come down with this time. Leftover cookies on the counter. Cold brew in the fridge. You call a car because you lost track of time. You would have taken the F to the L, but it's too late now. You aren't used to having to track your mornings. It's good, though, having some sense that the days progress linear-like. Good things keep happening to me, and I'm very grateful and; I’m very happy too. I try not to quantify too much. If I choose this, then imagine I lose that. I don't want to do everything all at once. I've never possessed this desire. There is paralysis, though, sometimes, when I think about what I'm doing and therefore, by default, what I'm not. First day of my internship today. I like it a lot. First day of the semester yesterday. Very good. I take the subway home. I run a few miles. Thawing in the steam inside, but I'm sick of talking about how cold I've been, and particularly of how much I've been enjoying it. Writing a lot - maybe too much, honestly. Out of my head and into my body. I spend too much time alone and I become very dissociative. Vision blurring on the treadmill. Self indulgent. I yell a lot when I get home. It’s not important. There are worse things. Natasha and I go to Bar Veloce for drinks and a panini. “One second,” I say on the phone when we’re making plans, and then I hang up to yell, and then I am calm again and then I’m walking back through the frozen air, light and breastless in its dry frigidity. Inside Veloce it’s warm, orange lamps, thin and laminated menus, I get two martinis - extra dirty extra dry," I say. I used to order it “vodka martini no vermouth with lots of olive juice”, but I’ve been trying the abridged version most people use lately, and it works just as well. I forget how many hours we’re at Veloce. Nice night. Quiet night. I tell Sophia I can bring her zyns for the opening of Doomers. I’ve been zyning lately. My bag is chock full of them. They make me dizzy in an unpleasant way. Even thirty minutes on the subway alone, and I start to feel disembodied and strange. It’s strange how many more people are reading my public diary now, even though I wrote it for this reason - to be public. I’m trying to write in a way that is honest, but I’m becoming too ethereal in my descriptions. This isn’t really true — me being ethereal that is. Natasha asks me what I think about transcendental meditation at dinner. “David Lynch’s cult?,” I ask. “They make you pay for it,” she says. “But their whole thing is clarity.” I perk up when I hear this bit. “I would pay,” I say. “Clarity has been your buzzword,” she says. "Where did you get that?,” she asks. “I realized I just didn’t have clarity and I wanted it,” I say. I still don’t have it, not really. Eating fontana truffle prosciutto grilled cheese with my martini. They kick us out at closing. Midnight, it’s still early. They froze our pipes about three hours ago. The ice fairies, I mean. The building will restore the pipes soon. “EMERGENCY” the email says. “Hello, Thief”, the flyers in Riley’s lobby say. You want to end things on a good note, but then the night goes awry. Friday, January 24 You think you will wake up in a haze, but you don’t. Bright light this morning. It is still morning, not yet early afternoon, although close enough. They turned the water back on in the night - sent the ice fairies flying back through the streets. The faucet lurches and then starts to spew all rust colored. All the drama of the evening becomes silly in the light of day, obviously. You put smooth serum on your face - sea buckthorn, La Roche Posay, Embryolisse. The rusty water has turned all clear again. Warmer today - weaving in and out of sanity, if I'm being honest. I decide to go to Massachusetts and then I decide against it. David brings me a white chocolate bear from Lil Lac. I run into him and the bear on the way back from the gym. "I got you a really stupid present," he says. I call with the people in El Salvador in the afternoon - talking about things like The Art of The State. Red Light Therapy. I need to write my story. I need to start doing things like eating fresh fruit, drinking lots of water with things like added drops of Maldon sea salt. There's the reading everyone is going to at EARTH tonight, but the line is too long. I hear that through the rumblings of people who are there before me. The line is way too long, and there are other things to do too but I stay put which is depressing, and rare for me, and I don't do anything with the solitude except I am asleep the earliest I've been in years. Saturday, January 25 I knew I was going to get sick. It was only a matter of time, and I’m a little relieved that it’s finally here. It’s not too bad. My eyes sting, and I slept twelve hours. I slept peacefully though, no nightmares, a fever dulling whatever tripwires my mind most nights and so in this sense it’s kind of nice - the being sick. Someone asks me to write a story about ANTI REALITY - “I think of your writing as a sense of unreliability of perception,” they say. And so of course, I want to write about my nightmares, but I’ve been having fewer nightmares lately, and now I’m sick. I’ll have to think about this more, later. Honestly, I feel strange about putting these event calendars here, now that the other parts have for real become my public diary. I feel weird about putting up paywalls, but I don’t want SEO to find my Secret Thoughts. I started writing this in May, and I started writing about Everything I Did and Everything You Should Do, but now I kind of want to be doing less, or I want to be going to things because I know no one and not because I know everyone. I still feel so grateful to have places to go where I know everyone, and I do think you should go to these things, too. Creative things. Special things. Isolation is so sad and so lonely and I am so grateful that my life is mostly devoid of it. It’s like a fluke - not being isolated, I mean, but I’m not, and I feel very lucky for this. I go to a reading in Union Square tonight. Something for Casual Encounters and a new newspaper called Ummm. My illness dissipated as quickly as it arrived. I think I made myself sick because I cried a lot, if I’m being honest. But I’m fine now. I’m really relieved this happened, because it was only a matter of time, and because now it’s all fine. The reading is wonderful. I'm so happy all night. It's in a beautiful apartment, dazzling, really, and I'm there early, embarrassingly early, and so be it out of pity or mistaken identity, I am given a tour. Here is the roof. Here is the room where the reading will be. Here is the artist's studio. Here are fifty sculptures above the hallway, each sculpture is by a different artist, interpreting the same person in a different way, can you guess who the person is? Sam arrives during this part. “Hillary Clinton,” he guesses. He's right. I like readings like this. One glass of orange wine and then water. I've been so cynical lately, but this feels lovely. Natasha arrives. Others, too. It's a nice mix of people I know and people I don't. It feels so easy for things to go wrong, but sometimes a night hovers just right. Sitting on the windowsill with David later, surveying the room. Up on a basketball court later, but I'm not smoking cigarettes these days. Sometimes glamor is just glamor and you don't have to feel jaded to it. The theme of the newspaper is good - umm… exercise. And this is really the root of it all, isn't it? You run, you write, there are other things, too, but this has always been the crux of things for me. This, and then hedonism, sometimes. “I'm going to make you a french omelette with parsley and guanciale and three eggs,” David tells me at home. “And it's going to be the best omelette you've ever had.” “Was the omelette pretty decent,” David asks later. Davids’s Decent Omelette Suddenly, all my music is new. The things we’re playing over and over again - they're songs I've never heard before. This means my nostalgia for this time will be different - new emotions recollected when I revisit images of now, as compared to in the months before. I feel silly and cheap reflecting on things like this - future nostalgia, imagining the contemporary as a memory. It's a slightly drunken conversation. There is no feasible counter culture anymore, no zeitgeist to seize in a think piece, interest draws towards the interior. This doesn't have to be narcissistic if done well. It's a little narcissistic, in my case. I keep on listening to these songs, over and over and over again. Home - Kinlaw

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LqrH!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb418313f-a9c0-4483-adfe-52a23d42c656_1179x624.jpeg, Bar Veloce, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!54KV!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fba999c41-1577-4575-8943-285aaa6064b7_1600x1200.jpeg, sea buckthorn, La Roche Posay, Embryolisse, EARTH, Casual Encounters, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vpvu!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8d8030ea-1dab-4e47-8fa8-9689c3704780_1124x1492.png, Home - Kinlaw

Good things keep happening to me, and I'm very grateful and; I’m very happy too. I try not to quantify too much. If I choose this, then imagine I lose that. I don't want to do everything all at once. I've never possessed this desire. There is paralysis, though, sometimes, when I think about what I'm doing and therefore, by default, what I'm not. First day of my internship today. I like it a lot. First day of the semester yesterday. Very good. I take the subway home. I run a few miles. Thawing in the steam inside, but I'm sick of talking about how cold I've been, and particularly of how much I've been enjoying it. Writing a lot - maybe too much, honestly. Out of my head and into my body. I spend too much time alone and I become very dissociative. Vision blurring on the treadmill. Self indulgent. I yell a lot when I get home. It’s not important. There are worse things. Natasha and I go to Bar Veloce for drinks and a panini. “One second,” I say on the phone when we’re making plans, and then I hang up to yell, and then I am calm again and then I’m walking back through the frozen air, light and breastless in its dry frigidity. Inside Veloce it’s warm, orange lamps, thin and laminated menus, I get two martinis - extra dirty extra dry," I say. I used to order it “vodka martini no vermouth with lots of olive juice”, but I’ve been trying the abridged version most people use lately, and it works just as well. I forget how many hours we’re at Veloce. Nice night. Quiet night. I tell Sophia I can bring her zyns for the opening of Doomers. I’ve been zyning lately. My bag is chock full of them. They make me dizzy in an unpleasant way. Even thirty minutes on the subway alone, and I start to feel disembodied and strange. It’s strange how many more people are reading my public diary now, even though I wrote it for this reason - to be public. I’m trying to write in a way that is honest, but I’m becoming too ethereal in my descriptions. This isn’t really true — me being ethereal that is. Natasha asks me what I think about transcendental meditation at dinner. “David Lynch’s cult?,” I ask. “They make you pay for it,” she says. “But their whole thing is clarity.” I perk up when I hear this bit. “I would pay,” I say. “Clarity has been your buzzword,” she says. "Where did you get that?,” she asks. “I realized I just didn’t have clarity and I wanted it,” I say. I still don’t have it, not really. Eating fontana truffle prosciutto grilled cheese with my martini. They kick us out at closing. Midnight, it’s still early. They froze our pipes about three hours ago. The ice fairies, I mean. The building will restore the pipes soon. “EMERGENCY” the email says. “Hello, Thief”, the flyers in Riley’s lobby say. You want to end things on a good note, but then the night goes awry. Friday, January 24 You think you will wake up in a haze, but you don’t. Bright light this morning. It is still morning, not yet early afternoon, although close enough. They turned the water back on in the night - sent the ice fairies flying back through the streets. The faucet lurches and then starts to spew all rust colored. All the drama of the evening becomes silly in the light of day, obviously. You put smooth serum on your face - sea buckthorn, La Roche Posay, Embryolisse. The rusty water has turned all clear again. Warmer today - weaving in and out of sanity, if I'm being honest. I decide to go to Massachusetts and then I decide against it. David brings me a white chocolate bear from Lil Lac. I run into him and the bear on the way back from the gym. "I got you a really stupid present," he says. I call with the people in El Salvador in the afternoon - talking about things like The Art of The State. Red Light Therapy. I need to write my story. I need to start doing things like eating fresh fruit, drinking lots of water with things like added drops of Maldon sea salt. There's the reading everyone is going to at EARTH tonight, but the line is too long. I hear that through the rumblings of people who are there before me. The line is way too long, and there are other things to do too but I stay put which is depressing, and rare for me, and I don't do anything with the solitude except I am asleep the earliest I've been in years. Saturday, January 25 I knew I was going to get sick. It was only a matter of time, and I’m a little relieved that it’s finally here. It’s not too bad. My eyes sting, and I slept twelve hours. I slept peacefully though, no nightmares, a fever dulling whatever tripwires my mind most nights and so in this sense it’s kind of nice - the being sick. Someone asks me to write a story about ANTI REALITY - “I think of your writing as a sense of unreliability of perception,” they say. And so of course, I want to write about my nightmares, but I’ve been having fewer nightmares lately, and now I’m sick. I’ll have to think about this more, later. Honestly, I feel strange about putting these event calendars here, now that the other parts have for real become my public diary. I feel weird about putting up paywalls, but I don’t want SEO to find my Secret Thoughts. I started writing this in May, and I started writing about Everything I Did and Everything You Should Do, but now I kind of want to be doing less, or I want to be going to things because I know no one and not because I know everyone. I still feel so grateful to have places to go where I know everyone, and I do think you should go to these things, too. Creative things. Special things. Isolation is so sad and so lonely and I am so grateful that my life is mostly devoid of it. It’s like a fluke - not being isolated, I mean, but I’m not, and I feel very lucky for this. I go to a reading in Union Square tonight. Something for Casual Encounters and a new newspaper called Ummm. My illness dissipated as quickly as it arrived. I think I made myself sick because I cried a lot, if I’m being honest. But I’m fine now. I’m really relieved this happened, because it was only a matter of time, and because now it’s all fine. The reading is wonderful. I'm so happy all night. It's in a beautiful apartment, dazzling, really, and I'm there early, embarrassingly early, and so be it out of pity or mistaken identity, I am given a tour. Here is the roof. Here is the room where the reading will be. Here is the artist's studio. Here are fifty sculptures above the hallway, each sculpture is by a different artist, interpreting the same person in a different way, can you guess who the person is? Sam arrives during this part. “Hillary Clinton,” he guesses. He's right. I like readings like this. One glass of orange wine and then water. I've been so cynical lately, but this feels lovely. Natasha arrives. Others, too. It's a nice mix of people I know and people I don't. It feels so easy for things to go wrong, but sometimes a night hovers just right. Sitting on the windowsill with David later, surveying the room. Up on a basketball court later, but I'm not smoking cigarettes these days. Sometimes glamor is just glamor and you don't have to feel jaded to it. The theme of the newspaper is good - umm… exercise. And this is really the root of it all, isn't it? You run, you write, there are other things, too, but this has always been the crux of things for me. This, and then hedonism, sometimes. “I'm going to make you a french omelette with parsley and guanciale and three eggs,” David tells me at home. “And it's going to be the best omelette you've ever had.” “Was the omelette pretty decent,” David asks later. Davids’s Decent Omelette Suddenly, all my music is new. The things we’re playing over and over again - they're songs I've never heard before. This means my nostalgia for this time will be different - new emotions recollected when I revisit images of now, as compared to in the months before. I feel silly and cheap reflecting on things like this - future nostalgia, imagining the contemporary as a memory. It's a slightly drunken conversation. There is no feasible counter culture anymore, no zeitgeist to seize in a think piece, interest draws towards the interior. This doesn't have to be narcissistic if done well. It's a little narcissistic, in my case. I keep on listening to these songs, over and over and over again. Home - Kinlaw

Inline links: Bar Veloce, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!54KV!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fba999c41-1577-4575-8943-285aaa6064b7_1600x1200.jpeg, sea buckthorn, La Roche Posay, Embryolisse, EARTH, Casual Encounters, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vpvu!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8d8030ea-1dab-4e47-8fa8-9689c3704780_1124x1492.png, Home - Kinlaw

September 04, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, August 24 Lay with filthy tangled hair hanging off the edge of the roof for a while last night, watching the Chase Clock Tower lit up too royal blue and the Empire State Building lit up the nicer sort of baby blue. I've been collecting shades of blue. Kind of navy blue Frankie's Bikini little number reflecting something sort of aqua off my Diet Pepsi on the D-line towards Coney Island. Screaming children on the D-line. Naked man running around trying to steal pedestrians pants on Coney Island. He keeps on saying to the other guy, Darby says - “I like those pants ! Gimme those pants!” And it was all these beautiful friends coming and going last night. Coming and going until it was late, really late, so taxi home and then I ate the toppings off a slice of pizza on the floor with a spoon. I spent the morning alone doing Rituals. Tretinoin before sleep and I did wake up screaming for the first time in a while. Red light therapy and copper multi peptides and avocado eye cream and mineral sunscreen and now I'm on the Subway. Kind of braindead on the subway. It sometimes takes it out of you. This sort of thing can really take it out of you. It's been summer for forever, now. I have a lot more friends now. Connectivity, connected tissue, I walk down Brighton Beach by myself, walk to Tashkent Supermarket for a towel and carrot salad and on the phone I'm saying it is not that I wish for death and even sometimes I fear it but things have become a lot less Risk Averse. I'm a lot less Risk Averse now. It would be better to be dead, someone was saying at the bar last night. She was looking at me eyes all intense and no one was really listening, I could tell no one was really listening but everyone was watching her all the same and I could see them all clenching their bodies and kind of pulling away.. Me particularly, pulling away. Perhaps I'm being self absorbed. It wouldn't be better to be dead, someone else said. He looked at me then, locked eyes which usually makes me kind of uncomfortable but I felt inclined to agree. It's definitely better when nobody is dead, I said. The bar was full of plants and glass. Like a glass jungle, I told my nameless friends at the bar.. That's not very astute, a nameless friend told me. Tonight, the cocktail menu is flavored and priced like a full course meal, and so tonight I order Cold Pizza for dinner. Cold Pizza in a crisp glass bottle, plus greasy fried chicken after that, which comes in thick paper cups. And everyone is so grateful to be alive, tonight. Everyone is so grateful for one more year of life for themselves and for their dear friends particularly. Purple sunrise if I hadn't slept through it. Yellow sunset if I hadn't gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes shut through it. Planted two feet firmly in the ground and screamed through it. First, I made one thousand promises I couldn't keep. Second, I sat on the stoop with an energy drink, water, cool minty menthol gum and the antiseptic kind of sore throat with some bodega spray gripped tight in my hand to heal all my problems. My ailments and the other things. My organs and my mind. Overjoyed to be alive again after leaving my apartment, I told Amelia. It does make things better again, Amelia told me. Tuesday, August 25 Bartending school feels kind of like an alcoholic's vision of a drinking dream. Like holograms of condensation, dim lighting, one takes a sip to the tune of disappointment. Water and food coloring dye. Bowery Park and Whole Foods and JPress nearby and inside; Christmas is coming. Smooth jazz. Everything has felt a bit the same for a time, but my room is clean. Summer is passing. Three months is not so long. Would a functional alcoholic lace up black ankle boots at seven in the morning with a clear mind and bright eyes to catch the train towards midtown towards Bartending School, at the top of the week, at the tail end of August? I am not so good at pretending like anything is changing. Like habits stack towards something greater. It might as well be yesterday, I sigh on the phone. For you, it might as well be yesterday, Amelia agrees. I do the things a person should. Cake for friends' birthdays and the waiter keeps stacking on fees at Union Square Cafe. Cut the cake fee, sit at the table fee, big group of people fee, bring your own food fee. There are other tables next to us all inhabited by people who all appear to be exactly the same, though perhaps I am being uncharitable. Imagine them as skeletons. Imagine them as children. My parents used to tell me this when I was little. Kind of a hack against boredom. I imagine myself as a psychic, looking out on things overpriced and people all exactly the same. You will have a small child and feed her nothing but buttered noodles. You will advance in age but stay exactly the same through invasive surgical facial intervention and stunted social development. You will spend evenings eating french fries with caviar for One Hundred Dollars despite a rich inner world and a childhood pumped full of extracurricular stimulation designed, specifically, to avoid a fate like this. You will fear God more than death and you will understand self destruction to be akin to suicide hence rendering you too, on a trajectory like this, a rather hellish creature. You will wake up in the middle of the night in a small box criss-crossed wood roof apartment in New York City to the sense that there are No Loopholes Left. You will go to bartending school. You will recognize that, while you can be cruel there were other factors at play. There were worse factors at play. Wednesday, August 26 Walking from Greenwich Village to Long Meadow in Prospect Park with a bag filled up with white linen and Thomas Pynchon and a plan to celebrate sweet Sylvie's birthday. A different sort of nostalgia in the air today. Nostalgia of all sorts being kind of a form of mental illness, of course but once - we were woodland fairies. Once, there were fall morning running races and cranberries that crunched under bare feet on Massachusetts roads. Once, there were rounds of Tom Collins in a kind of jazzy jungle garden restaurant in the tropics that my boyfriend who liked gender-roles enjoyed because they wouldn't let girls order their own drinks. Once, I went to the Yankees game in late August, blue and pink hazy skies, the sort of advertisements that blare out notes about Fast Food and Safe Driving in the stadium, and the sort of crowd that is so big it starts inspiring feelings of Life and Spirit rather than Homogoninity and Dread. Once, I walked from bartending school full of Tom Collins, Chambord, a sip of walnut martinini, frangelico liquor. Walked to Caffe Reggio for egg white omelet, toast, a creamy cannoli. Walking to Prospect Park a little bit tipsy. Thinking about the sort of things I used to pretend to care about. Writing about the sorts of things I used to pretend to care about. Writing it all down. Writing and walking. Writing it everywhere. Writing it on the walls. Though, I'm not so bad at keeping secrets anymore. Thursday, August 27 Amelia and I sat at Caffe Reggio until close last night, and now I have returned. Tomato soup and side grilled chicken and creamy cannoli and mint tea because things feel decadent again. Limited consumption. I haven’t really been limiting consumption. The waitress is complimenting the gray sweatpants on the boys at the table over from me, and the waitress seems to be vaguely annoyed with me, though I am trying to be pleasant. Thanks the sweatpants cost enough, the boys are saying, at the table over. Thanks we didn't realize we couldn't split the bill, Amelia and I were saying, last night, our tea was four dollars total and everything was starting to feel a little bit hazy. Sitting on the floor at sunrise, this morning, Amelia and I were watching videos from Miami. Videos from Bahamas. Videos from New York City, 2022, we'd been at all the same parties, but I hadn't known a soul. BAHAMAS, we are beaming, in one video, in the back of a taxi cab, streaking over MacArthur Causeway, Miami-Dade County, Florida, and so, as I recall, the driver was confused. I'm putting on makeup in the photo booth webcam on the floor of a hotel room and Amelia is talking in the background. It's Opposite Day in the background. Who had a mental breakdown, someone is saying in the background. From an outsider's perspective, who was it who had a mental breakdown? Friday, August 28 6:30pm, and I am back at IFC for my third viewing of Diva (1981) in twenty-four hours. I came to view Diva (1981) for the third time in twenty-four hours, because I became very sick of thinking about myself. This is a desirable alternative. The film is beautiful, and I wish to live in places like the apartments pictured. A large and wrecked studio in a car park with painted walls and recording equipment or, a hotel in Paris or, a castle by the sea or, the best one of all is a large blue flat full of puzzles and high ceilings and echoing sea sounds and an aqua glow and a man who wants to learn to stop the waves. They are fighting crime in the film. They are entrapping the criminals and they are doing it kind of like performance art. I don’t wish to spoil the ending. It really is the perfect little film. So; I will send out the recipe for zucchini (courgette) soup, and I will explain away the things I did in breathless optimism as things I did while bored. I will go to The Scratcher, Killarney Rose, Funny Bar, then Gospel then Caffe Reggio again - these are the decadent places to which I continue to return. I will draw my name with Riley on the table in crayon writing Best Friends Forever and listen to Feryquitous ft Sennzai and Sigur Rós and John Maus and think about Switzerland, Iceland, having a lot of dreams about places that are lush, lush, lush. Thinking about places that are quiet quiet quiet. Thinking about places that are green green green. Feels like Fall, outside, after church. Amelia woke me up in a living room that looked like a library and she was screaming that the air was poison. I was difficult to awaken, because it is my own delusions of poison air that wake me up screaming on other nights. Different from tonight. I was reminding myself of reality. I was reminding myself of delusions and keeping my eyes clenched shut while Amelia screamed. Well, the air wasn’t poison after all, just late night and late august and heavy with mosquitos and dust from renovations and revelations and; we walked back to the cafe. I walked through Washington Square Park at dawn. The doorman wished me good night at seven in the morning and the cycles repeated. It isn’t opposite day and we aren’t in hell, just working on things like bed time and emotional regulation. Working on archiving the things that happen outside of my head. It becomes good to have been an archivist all along. It becomes good to become sick of dealing with things mainly in repetition. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Thursday, September 4 From 6pm at Carinito — Saloon is throwing a party. Drinks from Dio. Dancing, DJ, tacos, etc

Inline links: Carinito, Saloon, throwing a party

City Built on Crystals

September 09, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, September 1 On the train to Coney Island, my friends are talking about the motifs that keep occurring. It's the sort of thing that happens to you when you have a pure heart, one of my friends is explaining. It's the sort of thing that people try to do to Real Life Angels, my other friend is explaining. Real life angels aren't real, I am saying, though I understand her point. The train is streaking through open air with towns on both sides. Housing projects rising up beyond that. Fallen green leaves and gray pebbles on the edges of the tracks. I have had these concepts of destruction explained to me before, only then it was by my mother or my friends in Miami and they called it Evil Eye. Here, they call it Devils and Angels. Real life Demons. I have been spending a lot of time this summer, trying to parse out the difference. Later, we emerge onto the boardwalk to find Curtis Sliwa in his red barret at the edge of the Atlantic. Police officers and children and men with snake tattoos in the ocean. There is live music at Salt and Sizzle and a ferris wheel that is one-hundred-years-old-and-never-any-accidents and the sky turns blue and purple and they cancelled the fireworks last year on account of someone drowning and due respect. We miss them this year of our own accord. When I was in love I spent a lot of time thinking about the apocalypse and feeling kind of giddy and aloof in this anticipation, convinced that the best way to die was euphoria and so end times while the center held would be a relief above all. When I smoked cigarettes and was a teen I would spend a lot of time pondering pop-psychology notions of optimistic nihilism and watching reddit atheists evangelize online. Now, I'm on the F-train back towards block-party-bars and my friends are shooting photos of their merch line, standing in front of the train doors as they open and close and I prefer to stay seated. Mostly aware of how dehydrated I am, which is a relief insofar as it diminishes all less corporeal thoughts. At Time Again, we make new friends with rare and inquisitive souls, which is really what the end of summer is all about. Writing on my phone on the walk home. Scribbling with kind of blurry eyes like an ipad baby on Delancey Street about the things that one has left to lose. Scribbling kind of incoherently about Health and Strong and Pervasive Senses. Scribbling Mother Teresa’s Rules For Humility. Speak as little as possible of oneself and Yield in discussion even though one is right and; well - what else am I supposed to do besides accept and embrace a Strong and Pervasive sense that things are as they are? Things were one way and now they are another. Things are harsher now in some ways, and more gentle in others. Tuesday, September 2 Woke up feeling very concerned about the decay of my physical form as a result of my bad habits and also by my newfound sense of passivity which I hope is driven by surrender and not by cynicism but one can really not be too sure. Woke up to a brand new delusion. In my dreams, someone was knocking on the door. They woke me up screaming. I stayed very quiet in response. Sunlight through my windows that I cannot bring myself to drape with curtains. Looked through the peephole. No one was there. Here are things I need to do: email the priests at Saint Joseph's to join OCIA and consider becoming Catholic despite my generally waspy sensibility. Finish and publish my substack. Create publicity materials for the play, go to class tomorrow, go to screening at Anthology Film tomorrow, write write write. Conjure up some sort of novel-like plot out of my hundreds of thousands of words of musings I keep in secret online documents. Make final edits on El Salvador piece and hope for the best. Conjure up some sort of plausible plot for my novel about gnosticism and also schizophrenia in people who seek to approximate the feeling of being famous by having friends online. Drop off laundry. Workout a lot. Maybe go sober. Certainly be sober-for-today. Today I am Cleansing. Today I am proud of myself in some ways and disappointed in others. Over plates of octopus and shrimp in lemon mustard sauce and pita and eggplant dip, Iris asks if she can treat me. Treat me to what, I asked. Do treatments for you, Iris explains. Treat me with iodine and thyroid and hypnosis. Treat me with methods opposite to my own. My own being mostly, a hysterical dipping in and out of notions of asceticism. Ok to some treatment, I say. Iris and I walk to the shops. The sky is still light but it is getting colder now. Iris buys dish soap and I slip sea kelp spray into my pocket. I have become quite destabilized by my afternoon visit to the glass apartment in the sky with the revolving doors. Not my apartment. No one's apartment. I am less like an orphan now. Iris and I walk back outside and down towards Seward Park. Iris says Sam knows a good aura cleanser. Not that I think the aura in the glass apartment in the sky is necessarily dark or doomed, Iris clarifies. I’d been telling Iris about some theories on the aura of things as dark and doomed. An invisible string but it was most of all bad. Ultimatums of gnosticism but they were delivered with nefarious intent.. Narcissistic to assume spiritual implications in the everyday, obviously. But how does one explain why they feel like they are floating by the time they are drifting up the stairs? On the Internet, they are making up real life retreats to enter the void. On the internet, they will take you to the Real Life House where you can Understand Real Life Consciousness. On the Internet, you can't live forever. Everyone realized that a few years back and I realized too, a few years after that. In Real Life you can maybe live forever, though. Everyone hopes so. I have been worrying, lately, that I hope so too. Wednesday, September 3 It’s Art Week in New York, which means less to me than it used to, besides for a pleasant rise in energies and things whirling back to life. I go to the first installment of the Marjorie Cameron series at Anthology Film Archive on account of Emillia’s recommendation and a slightly uneasy interest in the occult, tonight. An interest in witches who used to dance in a ring of rocking horses by my childhood home and a drive through Lily Dale with Riley in other lives, a few lives before this one. All that greenery and a long road alongside a lake towards the Psychic Capital Of The World. Hub of Mediums. Salmon Rushdie had been stabbed nearby a few years back. A psychic in Rhode Island had told me things would happen as I wanted them too but it would be first a thing of waiting, and secondly a thing of new architectures and spaces given that I’d been dealing in impossible conditions for awhile. Trying to make something stick in an Architecture of Unhappiness for a while. I stayed up til dawn over the weekend. Awoken to a Providence necklace placed around my neck and a burning desire to remove myself from the organ donor registry just in case. I worried about the morality of seeking loopholes as it pertained to the Providence Necklace, but a few days have passed and now it is Wednesday, early evening, tuck the tag under the collar of my shirt and began my hovering walk towards things that happen. The screening shows a Curtis Harrington film called Night Tide (1961), and it is about a girl who is a siren or perhaps it is just about Psychological Warfare, the ending leaves things a bit unclear. I've been nostalgic for the kind of California where I've never really been before. Nostalgic for things that never happened which I think is less a thing of clairvoyance and more a sense of how it all slips away but regardless; the shots are all of witchy Venice Beach and an apartment over the carousel that overlooks the sea and there is a bonfire on the rocks and some dancing that becomes a bit possessed due to dark forces - pulling my hair over my eyes like a blindfold for these parts - but I am thinking I could live in a place like this in spite of perhaps some evil. I have always thought I could float around it. I have always been arrogant in this way Thursday, September 4 Last night, I turned off the air conditioning and spilled Diet Pepsi on the baby pink rug in my sleep. Mom has shipped out baby blue curtains with white stripes and New York (the place where all my problems are) is starting to become a place that oscillates into something more calm. Sophie suggested baby pink curtains, and so I am making compromises in my mind. Compromising my own opinions and the opinions of others. Putting a lot of stock in the opinions of others. Putting a lot of stock in things improving drastically through the help of water in glass bottles and red light therapy and self hypnosis and religious conversion and swapping out the Cool White Linear Fluorescent Light Bulbs for something warmer. Everything becomes warm and still and the air is kind of heavy. I can lie very still for a while. Not forever, but definitely for now. You should just become one of those sociopathic writers who does insane things for the sake of writing, Iris advised me a few days ago. Yeah, I said. Like go to consciousness school in Argentina or conduct strange experiments with materiality on myself and others. Adopt a regiment of strange injections or move to Venice Beach to become Catholic and fight the occult there, too. Sitting on the edge of my bed in my New World in New York City. Closing my eyes and imagining Venice Beach as a magical little enclave with a witchy apartment over the carousel by the sea and arched doorways and conch shells and a jazz club and massage parlors and psychics on the piers. If I became a ruthless psychopath, what could I do in a place like this? In New York City (the city built on crystals). I am not feeling so ruthless. Self-experimentation without self-possession mostly leading towards destruction of a pretty boring variety. At least we don't live boring lives, I used to be told. There is nothing more boring than this, I used to say in response. Friday, September 5 Come in, come in, three psychics beckon on Sullivan Street, but I am pretty clear about how things have been and where they are going, and I would prefer to look for motifs in patterns and symbols and psychosomatic symptoms which reach a peak and then; abandon your whole entire life. That is one thing the psychics could tell me to do. Abandon your whole entire life. They could tell me to buy a whole new personality. I could buy a good fortune swimming in tea leaves and an aura cleansing from the psychics on Sullivan Street. I could buy a membership to witchcraft school and a flat in Venice Beach and a conflicted conscience when it comes to forces of good and evil and certainly, to things like health, sobriety, longevity. It's enticing to create pseudo intellectual or pseudo spiritual explanations for bad behavior when in reality things are obviously much more simple. Most actions are much too plain to qualify as any sort of performance or definitely any art. I'm working on becoming stupider, I told Iris. Will I become stupider? I asked the psychics. Will the apocalypse come sooner or later if the collective consciousness ideates on it or tries to stave it off? Is it better to be witchy but self protective, or ascetic but operating with self abandon. Where can one buy self possession? Taking the C-Train to Fort Greene Summer Fairyland where my dad and Sylvie wait for me at Aita and so everything is better. Plums and peaches and ricotta and octopus which the girls behind us are saying they don't eat after watching My Octopus Teacher (2020). Girls love to say they don't eat octopus after watching My Octopus Teacher (2020) but perhaps I am heartless, and I mostly just found the documentarian in that film to be kind of deranged and unreliable. Beef tartar and potato chips and Sylvie is talking about how she's aware of the balance of power in every single conversation and I'm saying I'm literally never aware of that I'm literally always just seeking equilibrium in any interaction that matters because conversation exists to reach understanding and Sylvie is saying no you are just always making sure that you are the one with the power in every conversation. I say no and she says yes and I say can we seek some equilibrium and she says you make sure that won't ever happen. The combat stops. My dad is asking Sylvie's boyfriend why he seeks intellectual inquiry. Sylvie's boyfriend is pointing out the famous people peppered around the bar. Goodbye you power hungry beast, I am telling Sylvie. My dad drives me back towards Manhattan. Animal skulls are scattered around his mini van and he says I can have a deer jaw for my new place if I want. Wrong turn through the Hubert Tunnel. Twenty-two dollar toll. Drop me off at the most Satanic Nightclub in New York to sulk soberly at the edge of an indoor pool and really lean into nihilism insofar as - what if we stayed for a while? I don't stay for a while. Manhattan night is teeming with people and the city is built on crystals. Good or bad ones? I haven't decided yet. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tuesday, September 9 From 7pm - 11pm at Night Club 101 — AltCitizen 15 Year Anniversary Show series launches with The Kickoff. Hosted by Brittany Marino. Featuring Lulu Van Trapp, Suo, D. Treuit. From 10pm - late, after party downstairs | Tickets: $15 advance, $20 doors

Inline links: Night Club 101, AltCitizen, The Kickoff

Humanoid-Robots

March 06, 2026 · Original source

In the summer, when the air was sickly sweet and I was feeling ill but knew the day would be ok to pass in the sort of languid-and-waiting-for-it-to-end kind of way, we took a CitiBike over towards Thai Diner. We biked along the Hudson River, first. In Riverside Park, I stopped alongside the dinosaur playground and the firefighter memorial and I touched the shiny metal heads of all these structures left behind. My companions were irritated yet understanding of this divergence. We biked to the George Washington Square Bridge after that, and Jennifer jumped in the dirty water, and Riley vomited off the pier. Back downtown, the air was humid and heavy and the wait outside Thai Diner was long, which made everyone feel kind of claustrophobic if not necessarily physically worse. Not traditional not traditional not traditional, Ian kept on saying. Kicking rocks around Chinatown. He liked this place nonetheless. Thai Diner is cartoonishly bright and the greenhouse heats quickly and it is not the sort of place to visit during summer storms. When the rain started, Ian and I walked to the chocolate factory. At the chocolate factory, he bought me sweets painted like portraits and water colors and little mini worlds. Best chocolates in the world, he kept on saying. I unwrapped the chocolates like little parcels, and we both found them to be quite a delight. Thai Diner is kind of Michelin-star style. Really good food. Mango and coconut sticky rice. Curries and fried cod. Every bite delights, but all I can really remember is we were all too sick or maybe just too hot to eat. I ordered hot toddy because it’s good to drink warm things when warm, and it’s good to drink strong things when hands are shaking at the cedar wood counter of a nice restaurant, and friends are dripping Hudson River water all over the floor. Ian ordered a smoothie that was green and piled high with coconut-flakes. Get me out of here, he kept on saying. I love this place, he said. I feel so goddamn bad. Get me a cab right now. We went home after that, and the greenhouse roof at home made the whole place boil and so I fell asleep easily, even midday. I think I fell asleep for the rest of the year, or at least the afternoon.

Raquel Michel4 mentions across 4 issues

Raquel Michel is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 4 times across 4 issues between March 07, 2025 and August 28, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Crazy Girl release party ft Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, and DJ Shawty"; "Sounds by Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, JM Kettle, and Morali"; "Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, bbbBbBB". It most often appears alongside Callie Reiff, Chloe Pingeon, David.

Article page: Raquel Michel
Mention count: 4
Issue count: 4
First seen: March 07, 2025
Last seen: August 28, 2025

Issue trail

52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025
mutually assured destruction May 06, 2025
A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again June 09, 2025
Arrowhead expert August 28, 2025

Callie Reiff 4 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 3 shared issues
David 3 shared issues
Julia Cooke 3 shared issues
KGB 3 shared issues

Source context

mutually assured destruction

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm - 2am at 154 Scott BK — Crazy Girl release party ft Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, and DJ Shawty.

Inline links: release party

May 06, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm at The Stranger — Thre hosts, four djs, and zero bikes presents Tour de Les. Hosted by Bianca Asha, Lolita Lupita, and Leg5. Sounds by Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, JM Kettle, and Morali.

June 09, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm at Public Records — Tour de LES becomes Tour de PR. One photographer, six djs, zero bikes. Featuring Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, bbbBbBB, Kelsey, b2b fifi, and the path.

Inline links: Public Records, Tour de PR

Arrowhead expert

August 28, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm at Club Bohemia — Tour de LES returns. Four djs, zero bikes. Ft Callie Reiff, Raquel Michel, Kelsey, and fifi.

Inline links: Club Bohemia, Tour de LES

Riska Seval4 mentions across 4 issues

Riska Seval is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 4 times across 4 issues between December 09, 2024 and May 21, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Katzenzungen Reading features ... Riska Seval"; "Elijah Lajmer, Riska Seval"; "Readings by Ariana Reines, Peter Vack, Riska Seval, Adam Wilson". It most often appears alongside KGB, Peter Vack, Confessions.

Article page: Riska Seval
Mention count: 4
Issue count: 4
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: May 21, 2025
Instagram handle: @mathlovewar

Outbound links

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024
January continues January 19, 2025
52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025
Total Nightmare Policy May 21, 2025

KGB 4 shared issues
Peter Vack 4 shared issues
Confessions 3 shared issues
David 3 shared issues
Annabel 2 shared issues

Source context

December 09, 2024 · Original source

From 7pm at 171 Canal, 5th Fl — Katzenzungen Reading features Natasha Stagg, Whitney Mallett, Riska Seval, and Kevin Champoux.

Inline links: Natasha Stagg, Whitney Mallett, Riska Seval, Kevin Champoux

From 7pm at Drama Gallery — India Rose Timpani hosts Tribeca All The Way - a reading in conjunction with the closing of Jesse Sullivan’s ‘Coffee Shop’. Readings by Nick Jorgensen, Elijah Lajmer, Riska Seval, Clay M.M., Ray Wise, and Alec Mapes-Frances.

Inline links: Drama Gallery, India Rose Timpani, Nick Jorgensen, Elijah Lajmer, Riska Seval

January 19, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Canada — Casual Encounters and On The Rag are hosting a fundraiser to save helLa. Readings by Ariana Reines, Peter Vack, Riska Seval, Adam Wilson, and more. RSVP here. Gofundme + LA Fire Resources here.

Inline links: Canada, Casual Encounters, On The Rag, Ariana Reines, Peter Vack, Riska Seval, Adam Wilson, here, here

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm - late at Casa Bella — Caroline Calloway, Betsey Brown, and Peter Vack present - A Rachel Ormont Afters! The prior screening at The Roxy is unfortunately sold out, but I’ll be at the afters and you should be too! Hosted by soooooo many people! Mike Crumplar, Cassidy Grady, Kareem Rahma, Nick Dove, Sierra Armor, Elena Velez, Perfectly Imperfect, Matt Weinberger, Finlay Mangan, Riska Seval, Humblesuperstar, Poorspigga, Meg Superstar Princes, Andrew Norman Wilson, Charley Shealy, Rylee Stumpf.

May 21, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm - late at 4408 W 2nd St. — ZORA presents ZERO1 - a science fiction reading with an afterparty to follow. Readings by Oliver Misraje, Riska Seval, and Johanna Stone. Djs: chic P, brandy melville, Harmony Tividad. - “It is theorized that Zero1 activates specific optic nerves relating to the processing of blue light, the same blue light emitted from digital screens.” | Doors at 8, readings at 9, DJs at 10.

Rose4 mentions across 4 issues

Rose is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 4 times across 4 issues between June 09, 2025 and February 04, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "they told Rose at breakfast at The Social Club that she is getting sick"; ""It is funny when you two talk about raising children on gray rocky shores, because you sure have no problem creating rocky shores," Rose told me in Miami"; "Rose was saying my denial was as deep as his was". It most often appears alongside Gnosticism, Iris, Cassidy Grady.

Article page: Rose
Mention count: 4
Issue count: 4
First seen: June 09, 2025
Last seen: February 04, 2026
Instagram handle: @charlotterosebenjamin

Outbound links

Issue trail

A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again June 09, 2025
Bad Luck Spot July 06, 2025
Apocalyptic Ideation September 26, 2025
Hotel-Life-For-Life February 04, 2026

Gnosticism 3 shared issues
Iris 3 shared issues
Cassidy Grady 2 shared issues
Celia 2 shared issues
Confessions 2 shared issues

Source context

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZjW-!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F67ecce3d-02cd-4260-91aa-07adc92be735_1052x484.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S7lB!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F14d7d73e-4a99-4bc0-ad57-1dae414e4c21_1018x416.png, GirlInsides, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!grTj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0d8950da-492c-4aea-8f52-bfae799e190d_968x440.png, Chez Nous, https://metrograph.com/film/?vista_film_id=9999002294, recently refurbished Chez Nous, 1pm on a Friday

June 09, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Saturday, May 31 I wake up at six am to Miami Beach hazy dawn, honey bear full of gummy bears, skinny pop popcorn and torres truffle potato chips and I believe this mini bar isn't motion-censored but if it is, well, is already to late because I am crouched over on the floor playing pharmacy with the sorting of cosmopolitan, candies, pretzels, aperol spritz. The sun is hot and already almost too bright outside. There's a kind of resignation to the physical exhaustion of today. I could pump myself full of junk food and sink into the hotel carpet disassociated, spinning, things have been oscillating in such extremes and I guess there is some solid ground now, but I am still so breathless and uncertain when I try to consider this as real. "What I like about a hotel is the idea that you can just completely change vibes," my boyfriend was saying. "Anonymity. Abandon your two week life.” I came to consciousness in my two week life sobbing in the morning. I came to consciousness with tears pouring down my face in the bluest water you have ever seen. There was cognizance while gasping for air at the coconut stand, warm liquor, a scene at The Standard. I plugged the story into chat gpt like someone evil or something all made up. Is the narrator likable, I asked. Is this genius, I begged. A whirling tale about wearing the wrong linens, said the robot. the narrator is kind of redeemable, unlike, clearly [redacted] I have lost all my vindication. I have promised not to beg. I reread the letter and they told Rose at breakfast at The Social Club that she is getting sick because of Central AC. You know you are in Miami right, they ask us. The servers beam big wide beams and only I beam back. I have been working on fiction a lot, but then I find it difficult to swing back here. I find myself very cold and with a lingering sense of maybe fatalism more than nihilism but regardless there is such removal in my made up language no matter how much I try to bring it down to earth. I am not removed at all, here. I learned quickly. I deleted my transcription of the other days so I could better tell you about the parts that Never Happened. I remember almost nothing but it's like I don't really drink anymore, so this was something else. My Miami Beach: The Standard, The Beachcomber, The Betsey, The Social Club. The coconut stand and the diet coke mini bar and the pleading about what happens now - a sunburn, a whole entire life, there was the mystic who was telling us about Gnosticism that summer. There was the quivering lady at the quaker church who was telling us about angels and destiny and if we became unaligned, then there would be nothing else. I did write a story of fiction and so you're getting the scraps, here. I came to consciousness already half in a dream. My consciousness has never faltered, before. We began in Connecticut. Things were bright and nice that weekend. All the green of Connecticut was very lush and it caught me by surprise. I did not feel much to prove nor a need to get all on the defensive. I wrote stories outside of myself, and I was pleased to find an escape. There was a castle over the river ferry in lush and luminous New England spring and it reminded me of somewhere further South and of a life that stretched out all human and endless. I didn't mean to leave again. I didn't mean to cycle on and on and on. We went further South. Bahamas then Miami. It wasn't so much a thing of irresponsibility or of being in a cult as it was, having lots of friends and being given a gift. Drops of water in a wave don't move with the wave, they simply jostle around in place with the wind. He read this aloud to me from my book like this was news and I was stupid. I'm not stupid, I said. His face became crestfallen like he was surprised to find me harsh. I'm sorry for being careless with the only thing in the world I know to be true, I said. My mind was moving too fast but it might have just been the sterile setting and the dehydration. I left New York and I landed in a place where I should never be. It was a bit of impulsivity and a bit of an exercise in absurdity and camp perhaps, though none of it is ever really my decision with these things and these trips. There Are Casinos Everywhere For Those With Eyes To See. There are golf cart highways and fake black marble lounge tables and a DJ saying Let's Get It Started with no irony. There is plenty of sun, too but the rejuvenative qualities of light become quite negated when filtered off of all this pale concrete. Ancestral memory or something of the sort, but I was really craving foggy pine forests by the gray ocean. What was it they were saying in El Salvador? The teachings on light and life from the Bitcoin Doctor in El Salvador were proven to be true because Las Vegas was so palpably optimized to be terrible. They were saying a lot of things in El Salvador, but I did feel like there is something almost nefarious in the Casino-Desert air, here. We took the plane to Miami after that. I'm obscuring the timelines, a bit, again. I rediscovered Privacy and Fiction at right about the same time. I rediscovered golf course concrete roads and mind numbing sun and privacy and fiction and now I'd like to write what happens next but it all begins to feel a bit stilted. The Beachcomber was kind of party party party and bottomless brunch in the lobby and windows that opened onto all that green jungle Miami swim week bottle service ceviche room service drifting around the paths outdoors taking short sharp breaths. The Betsey was more colonial, like a maze, they considered themselves to be bookish and we moved there for the purpose of manufacturing stability and more cheer. Iris came over in the afternoon. I picked her up in the lobby. I dove for my boyfriend's lost coral in the pool downstairs. The skin off my chest burned easily. I lay on the deck of the pool on the roof with a virgin bloody mary for electrolytes, and a spicy watermelon margarita for a self destructive haze. How are you doing, Iris asked. What are your favorite foods, Iris asked. Octopus, apples, apple pie lamb chops with mint jelly, creamed spinach, a certain type of barbeque salmon, a whole roast chicken. It was funny to say Best Day Of My Life because I cried a million billion tears and now we’re swimming in the moonlight off Miami Beach. I like the club scene pulsing behind all the crescent moon glow and waves. It’s a shame about that night and that day. The resurrection has been unsteady but it’s like Kygo and a palm grove and a cityscape behind me, and all blue dark ocean and saturns return to the front. There was a moment there where I lost every piece of everything good. Gulps of water and air. I pull it all back. Sunday, June 1 The flight back from Miami is gray and swift. I spent the evening on the rooftop at The Betsy yesterday. Iris asked me for the list of my favorite foods. Octopus, apples, apple pie, lamb chops with mint jelly, creamed spinach, a certain type of barbeque salmon, a whole roast chicken. The concrete by the pool bar was hot and steamy and we didn’t bring identification and we would not be served. David bought us bloody marys and we drank them behind the tarp where the bartenders couldn’t see. I swam laps up and down and up and down the length of this pool that was mostly for drinking. I found Chanel sunglasses while standing barefoot in the bathroom and I returned them to the French girl. It’s like I’ve been immune to the permanence of ramifications of the things that are really bad, these days. I keep forgiving and I keep on being forgiven. They gave me free Pina Colada samples in little plastic cups. Ok Intense Girl, he was saying, because every time I would pop my head out of the water to say the things I thought, it would be with beady eyes and a determined stare. I like ice cream particularly matcha ice cream and I like lamb, Iris told me. Iris taught me about Gnosticism, and I believe this is somewhat aligned with the situation with me and him, though he thinks it's kind of sacrilegious when I equate my nightmares with mysticism, or when I attribute the interest that people who are kind of half of this world and half of another take in me to anything other than high agreeability and openness. Iris and I walked along Ocean Drive to Kalamata way down South Beach, and then we walked back along the water. A writing retreat, a rave, apocalyptic undertones. You can’t choose solitude and practicality at the edge of an extinction event, is one of many roots of it. I walked barefoot along the boardwalk. I met him for a second dinner. The ribeye was bloody and it came with a gross side of pasta alfredo. I woke up screaming. I woke up all smiles. I took photos of our hands on the plane Just In Case. I showed him a song. The Message. Is this a good song, or is this a secret message, he asked. It’s just a good song, I said. The frat guys in front of us on the plane are reading A Court of Thorns and Roses smut novels and buying tickets to Jake Shane's comedy tour. The guy on my boyfriend's phone intercom is stealing all my LA Apparel underwear from our lobby. I'm eating the Worst Sandwich Ever and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I am taking pictures of our reflections in the clouded plane window and I am thinking about how impossible it feels right now, flying like this, to imagine that so often, we become something else. Monday, June 2 I read some GirlInsides on the airtrain back from JFK who I think is just like me if I were more honest and precise about it, or maybe whom my stories would echo more precisely if I did not have this sick need to put my face all over everything. Anyways, GirlInsides was talking about how summer would bring things like long long long hair and farmers market plums eaten over the sink in underwear and writing and reading all over the place, and her ideas made me feel like I was melting and going to cry. Then I wrote what I wanted summer to bring, all - getting off the subway because it's too hot and walking in sandals sticking to my feet until i find somewhere that glows right and then its morning and we're sitting first then lying down on the terrace in sun that becomes unbearable drinking sparkling water out of glass bottles dripping it over my chest opening the door for the blast of air conditioning and to let the friends that come by in and out people floating by in and out and come and go and then at dusk i put on something green and i drink cold cider cold diet coke or spicy watermelon margarita outside at kikis in swan room away from the heat at vol de nuit with fries and garlic sauce on the roof, on my roof, in the backyards and basements and i walk out and walk everywhere when it is time to leave i leave and sometimes it is time to leave and so then I take the train and there’s the coast and then I’m putting laundry on the line in a black bikini and drinking diet coke with lemon in my black bikini and driving to the ocean down the driveway at night headlights breaking through june gloom fog and jumping off the dock where the sharks don't eat us but any summer now they could, or then it's morning and i'm sober writing in my google docs journal walking outside, writing in my greenhouse apartment in new york, writing along the overgrown pond and field and it always smells thicker there outside of boston, writing by foggy shores and rocky shores and sometimes the air becomes thick too and my dad plays dougie mclain and we make pesto pasta mozzarella chicken sausage in yellow china bowls on yellow placemats the meal gets kind of hazy through the sheen of blue hour rain coming through the window and then i'm pacing and writing down ocean drive in Miami because I can't decide where i want to be anymore and i like flashing lights i like coming back to the very nice very cold hotel that we're staying in because he's Sorry but I don't want any more apologies i want this summer to be Being very very very in love because i really have been anticipating extinction events or at least things become robotic sterile i used to think id be pretty good at both being in love like this and at not being robotic and sterile and i have become slightly above average at both these things in practice i guess though, it's nice to have the most human thing in the world, it's nice for me all the time, even then, even when it isn't for him i think it's nicer for me then it would be to not have this all the time and I don't know why i keep sabotaging the only thing i know to be true and human and so i am hoping for a summer of all that, hands pressed against the plane window greenhouse window train window glass mirror glassy water plunging my face underwater no more eb and flow. Anyways, none of that made any sense and then shock of all shocks it did eb and flow again last night. Everyone was so nice to me about my story and I wore the Nasseau, Bahamas shirt he bought for me all Life Is Better In FlipFlops and he wanted me to wear the sunglasses too, to exacerbate the bit but I thought that would be a little bit too far. He said “you know why I’m mad at you” when we got home, and I didn’t know, I had no idea actually, and so then I got sad, but the story was fiction. This is fiction too. I’m not being facetious when I say that. This isn’t even autofiction. This is literally all made up. “they seem lost and completely clueless,” he is saying now, downstairs, on the phone, he is talking about some forty year old woman and an awful charleton and some guy who does RedPill posting online and some guy he personally has a strong dislike for who has a lot of medical malpractice suits against him. Maybe he’s a genius, he is saying. I don’t know, he is saying. These people are so strange, he is saying. Tuesday, June 3 His friend rubs my head like i'm a dog or something when i walk into his stupid fake exclusive evil party that i'm not invited to and then my heart swells with rage. I'm so mad, I was telling everyone. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that I guess I had one too many, I was saying. I didn't have one too many, I had just right, I was telling him. I like The Sweet East, he is telling me. I like Yeats and social norms. Yes and, I say; I hope that you get everything you have ever wanted. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Monday, June 9 A quiet night in the realm of events. Consider; dinner at The Marlton’s new restaurant Chez Nous followed by a screening of Buffalo 66 at Metrograph (10pm). I have historically liked The Marlton because it is vaguely past its prime and also a five minute walk from my apartment, and a place where no one ever tells you that you’ve stayed too long. The food at the old restaurant was terrible (so I’ve heard) (I only went for tea), but the recently refurbished Chez Nous is chic and fun and has maintained all of the hotel's original charm. The shrimp salad is very good, as is the martini. I’ll report back after my second visit (possibly tonight). Otherwise - 10pm on a Monday evening is the perfect time to see a film bar none, besides, possibly 1pm on a Friday.

Sunday, June 1 The flight back from Miami is gray and swift. I spent the evening on the rooftop at The Betsy yesterday. Iris asked me for the list of my favorite foods. Octopus, apples, apple pie, lamb chops with mint jelly, creamed spinach, a certain type of barbeque salmon, a whole roast chicken. The concrete by the pool bar was hot and steamy and we didn’t bring identification and we would not be served. David bought us bloody marys and we drank them behind the tarp where the bartenders couldn’t see. I swam laps up and down and up and down the length of this pool that was mostly for drinking. I found Chanel sunglasses while standing barefoot in the bathroom and I returned them to the French girl. It’s like I’ve been immune to the permanence of ramifications of the things that are really bad, these days. I keep forgiving and I keep on being forgiven. They gave me free Pina Colada samples in little plastic cups. Ok Intense Girl, he was saying, because every time I would pop my head out of the water to say the things I thought, it would be with beady eyes and a determined stare. I like ice cream particularly matcha ice cream and I like lamb, Iris told me. Iris taught me about Gnosticism, and I believe this is somewhat aligned with the situation with me and him, though he thinks it's kind of sacrilegious when I equate my nightmares with mysticism, or when I attribute the interest that people who are kind of half of this world and half of another take in me to anything other than high agreeability and openness. Iris and I walked along Ocean Drive to Kalamata way down South Beach, and then we walked back along the water. A writing retreat, a rave, apocalyptic undertones. You can’t choose solitude and practicality at the edge of an extinction event, is one of many roots of it. I walked barefoot along the boardwalk. I met him for a second dinner. The ribeye was bloody and it came with a gross side of pasta alfredo. I woke up screaming. I woke up all smiles. I took photos of our hands on the plane Just In Case. I showed him a song. The Message. Is this a good song, or is this a secret message, he asked. It’s just a good song, I said. The frat guys in front of us on the plane are reading A Court of Thorns and Roses smut novels and buying tickets to Jake Shane's comedy tour. The guy on my boyfriend's phone intercom is stealing all my LA Apparel underwear from our lobby. I'm eating the Worst Sandwich Ever and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I am taking pictures of our reflections in the clouded plane window and I am thinking about how impossible it feels right now, flying like this, to imagine that so often, we become something else. Monday, June 2 I read some GirlInsides on the airtrain back from JFK who I think is just like me if I were more honest and precise about it, or maybe whom my stories would echo more precisely if I did not have this sick need to put my face all over everything. Anyways, GirlInsides was talking about how summer would bring things like long long long hair and farmers market plums eaten over the sink in underwear and writing and reading all over the place, and her ideas made me feel like I was melting and going to cry. Then I wrote what I wanted summer to bring, all - getting off the subway because it's too hot and walking in sandals sticking to my feet until i find somewhere that glows right and then its morning and we're sitting first then lying down on the terrace in sun that becomes unbearable drinking sparkling water out of glass bottles dripping it over my chest opening the door for the blast of air conditioning and to let the friends that come by in and out people floating by in and out and come and go and then at dusk i put on something green and i drink cold cider cold diet coke or spicy watermelon margarita outside at kikis in swan room away from the heat at vol de nuit with fries and garlic sauce on the roof, on my roof, in the backyards and basements and i walk out and walk everywhere when it is time to leave i leave and sometimes it is time to leave and so then I take the train and there’s the coast and then I’m putting laundry on the line in a black bikini and drinking diet coke with lemon in my black bikini and driving to the ocean down the driveway at night headlights breaking through june gloom fog and jumping off the dock where the sharks don't eat us but any summer now they could, or then it's morning and i'm sober writing in my google docs journal walking outside, writing in my greenhouse apartment in new york, writing along the overgrown pond and field and it always smells thicker there outside of boston, writing by foggy shores and rocky shores and sometimes the air becomes thick too and my dad plays dougie mclain and we make pesto pasta mozzarella chicken sausage in yellow china bowls on yellow placemats the meal gets kind of hazy through the sheen of blue hour rain coming through the window and then i'm pacing and writing down ocean drive in Miami because I can't decide where i want to be anymore and i like flashing lights i like coming back to the very nice very cold hotel that we're staying in because he's Sorry but I don't want any more apologies i want this summer to be Being very very very in love because i really have been anticipating extinction events or at least things become robotic sterile i used to think id be pretty good at both being in love like this and at not being robotic and sterile and i have become slightly above average at both these things in practice i guess though, it's nice to have the most human thing in the world, it's nice for me all the time, even then, even when it isn't for him i think it's nicer for me then it would be to not have this all the time and I don't know why i keep sabotaging the only thing i know to be true and human and so i am hoping for a summer of all that, hands pressed against the plane window greenhouse window train window glass mirror glassy water plunging my face underwater no more eb and flow. Anyways, none of that made any sense and then shock of all shocks it did eb and flow again last night. Everyone was so nice to me about my story and I wore the Nasseau, Bahamas shirt he bought for me all Life Is Better In FlipFlops and he wanted me to wear the sunglasses too, to exacerbate the bit but I thought that would be a little bit too far. He said “you know why I’m mad at you” when we got home, and I didn’t know, I had no idea actually, and so then I got sad, but the story was fiction. This is fiction too. I’m not being facetious when I say that. This isn’t even autofiction. This is literally all made up. “they seem lost and completely clueless,” he is saying now, downstairs, on the phone, he is talking about some forty year old woman and an awful charleton and some guy who does RedPill posting online and some guy he personally has a strong dislike for who has a lot of medical malpractice suits against him. Maybe he’s a genius, he is saying. I don’t know, he is saying. These people are so strange, he is saying. Tuesday, June 3 His friend rubs my head like i'm a dog or something when i walk into his stupid fake exclusive evil party that i'm not invited to and then my heart swells with rage. I'm so mad, I was telling everyone. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that I guess I had one too many, I was saying. I didn't have one too many, I had just right, I was telling him. I like The Sweet East, he is telling me. I like Yeats and social norms. Yes and, I say; I hope that you get everything you have ever wanted. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Monday, June 9 A quiet night in the realm of events. Consider; dinner at The Marlton’s new restaurant Chez Nous followed by a screening of Buffalo 66 at Metrograph (10pm). I have historically liked The Marlton because it is vaguely past its prime and also a five minute walk from my apartment, and a place where no one ever tells you that you’ve stayed too long. The food at the old restaurant was terrible (so I’ve heard) (I only went for tea), but the recently refurbished Chez Nous is chic and fun and has maintained all of the hotel's original charm. The shrimp salad is very good, as is the martini. I’ll report back after my second visit (possibly tonight). Otherwise - 10pm on a Monday evening is the perfect time to see a film bar none, besides, possibly 1pm on a Friday.

Inline links: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S7lB!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F14d7d73e-4a99-4bc0-ad57-1dae414e4c21_1018x416.png, GirlInsides, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!grTj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0d8950da-492c-4aea-8f52-bfae799e190d_968x440.png, Chez Nous, https://metrograph.com/film/?vista_film_id=9999002294, recently refurbished Chez Nous, 1pm on a Friday

Bad Luck Spot

July 06, 2025 · Original source

Sunday, July 6 Summer storm of the nicest kind outside, and I think I’ll leave the lights off. I don't have so much to say about the time back in New York. I came back to the ocean because, of course, this is the sort of place where summer storms are nicer. And I have spent a while, so long really, quivering in this assurance that it would be ok; cling onto this one thing so tightly and then it will be ok, for the sake of this, to lose everything else. Well, there was a two-year-life and now there is everything else. It is not so much that I value peace. I value many, though not all, things before peace. It is not so much that I am gracious or really even care to be. I am being opaque. I was a guest there, for a lot of it. My old life, I mean. And it is not so much that I was too gentle for things like wild dogs and self surveillance. It is just, there were things that were mine first too. Summer storms and lace curtains on the edge of the bed. I did not always view things as possessed in this way though, I realize, now - it's been a few months, at least, of starting to think in terms of what belongs to me. "It is funny when you two talk about raising children on gray rocky shores, because you sure have no problem creating rocky shores," Rose told me in Miami. We'd been up all night,. Poured the liquor from the mini fridge down the drain and stood barefoot in the hotel hallway with a coconut juice, short quick breath. A baseball team had marched down the corridor at sunrise, and it was strange, even then, to watch myself become so shameless. My father video called me from New York, after. His hands made a downhill slope, steep then level, then steep and dropping and; “at a certain point you will not be able to stay,” he had told me. “At a certain point he will deem you problem no matter how determined you are to remain some sort of martyr.” At the end of the world there is a warplane over the graduation and a psychic in Rhode Island and he is screaming about cocks and his mother at a wedding in Michigan and he is screaming because I am opening my own doors at the hotel in South Beach and he is screaming at me in the apartment, later, it did all blur together. He was taking the art. He was taking his ShitCoin passkeys. He was taking his copy of Generative Energy and I was taking cigarettes, a sweater. I was trying not to be so voyeuristic about it. He was trying to use fewer slurs on the phone. I was doing front flips on the bed at the Holiday Inn and yelling: I can’t wait for our dry wedding, dry wedding, dry wedding. And he was saying that he drinks with the intention to forget and so it wouldn't come to all of that. Bad habits, strip mall parking lot and Rose was saying my denial was as deep as his was though, there had always been this thing of performance art. I want to party beautifully until we die, he used to tell me. I want to live like Match Point (2005), After Hours (1985), Eyes Wide Shut (1999). Later, we were walking up spring green hills and he was saying it would be easier, all of it, getting better, getting kinder, getting sober, getting bored, getting pregnant, if I stayed for a while. He wore gym shorts to the airport and returned in a rage. Later, on the floor, tuck my knees close to my chest by the open window and say I love you but my life is so much better when you are not in it and then he'd said how could you. Lie on the floor and he would say I orbit you. Summer storm and I'm texting him like I'm sorry. Because there were many letters and they kept on getting worse. Summer storm in early July and I was texting him even now like, I orbited you too. Iris came over in the afternoon in Miami. I picked her up in the lobby. I dove for his lost coral in the pool downstairs. The skin on my chest burned easily. I lay on the deck of the pool on the roof with a bloody mary that he bought me and that South Beach vibe, sunglasses, beady eyes. Ok intense girl, he said. How are you doing, Iris said. I didn't like the way he was holding you at dinner after everything he did, Iris said. In Rhode Island, last summer, we'd still been talking about things like soulmates last summer and we'd been driving in the rain. There had been a quaker church house, red Talbot sweater, a copper pot that we'd hang in New York but not till later and a little old lady. “You were a soldier wounded in the war in a past life,” the little old lady had told him. She had grabbed my shoulders, all shivering. “And it is a beautiful journey for you and him,” she had told me. “If you are ever pulled apart it will be a difficult and dark journey, but it is a beautiful journey for you and him.” “And so you cannot leave him,” Iris said in Miami. We liked hotels because of anonymity and aesthetic cohesion. He liked me because of blue eyes and devotion. He liked Miami because everyone was packing heat and I liked symbolism, numerology, gnosticism. “I like when things are fun,” I wrote him. “I like when things are fun and sweet.” And I showed up late to some basement apartment back in New York. The funny thing is, I had begged him not to go to that final party. I had begged him not to beg me to come. “My wife should think it's hot if I fight someone at a party,” he said later. “I want to get sober and treat you with the affection you deserve,” he had said, first, a few weeks before all of that. Once, we lived in a glass apartment in the sky. Central air conditioning but the greenhouse roof still made things boil and we'd call it the Boat House like some sort of joke, because floors slanted and careened and because of course, it was the only house. But so quickly, I am taken in as if I’m some sort of orphan. So quickly there are other houses. "He called and sounds like a horror movie, so you should get the fuck out of the apartment," Rose said in the aftermath. And it was Isabel who screamed first and so I did snap then. He is not a horror movie, just a shark or an orca whale or mostly a boy who is not here. Get out if you want to act scared. And so we did take some things and get out. And I did drive down the coastline because I still just could not stay put. It had always been a thing of kind of here, there, everywhere with us. High spring humid heat and there'd been no crocodiles in the river, no liquor at the hacker house, just warm beer and tall trees and broken glass and, “I'm looking forward to being very sweet to each other.” he had said. In the end, it wasn't me who lost my mind. So you were speaking as you two in one when you said you had the real sort of breakdown, the other party goers said, at that last party. I nodded. The party goers patted my shoulders. The party goers wanted no part. The texts were warm and made me ill. They took him out. They took me home. Blue paisley sheets at the home where I grew up and I remind him, for the first time, of the parts of it that were first all mine. Pull the blinds shut tight. Thunder and acid rain. He never bought into ideas of living forever in quite the way his friends did and, “your ideas of eternity become quite juvenile,” he says. Staring at cinched shut cream white shades and, “I’m looking at the ocean right now,” I say. “Don't you want to look at that ocean again?” The rot hits all at once. It smells like sickness and cruelty I did not know could be true. Lying on the bathroom floor - not my bathroom, I have been taken in like I am some sort of orphan, though I feel strangely less orphaned than ever before. I said I will not leave the party with him and so he said he will not ever come home again. There was discretion and bringing in reinforcement and he’d call first, before anyone else, stilted voice, some sort of laugh, he would like to be the one to break the latest news. He would like to be the one to make me guess. “Everyone heard you say that when she was your age you were nine,” he tells me on the phone, later. “That is because when she was my age, I was nine," I tell him on the phone, too. I talk a lot about decadence and gluttony and our no-beliefs-but-pleasure dumb lives but; for me it has not always been rotten. For me it was the opposite or; I could always see all the rot just drifting around in piles of money and provocation and drugs and alcohol and I do think there were the years of just floating, I've been floating alongside all of this rot and shock of all shocks it got sick. For me it has not always been rotten, though. It is very important that I make that clear. I did feel I could float around it. I have always been arrogant in a way. I did sit on the floor by an open window and I did lie in the rain in the night on the terrace. I remember laughing very quietly on the terrace. I remember trying to laugh as quietly as we could. At the end of the world I am working on ontology. Because you always did like to ontologize things, he is laughing on the phone. Because I think six hours in the future and you think in terms of forever, he is saying on the phone. The end of the world is something like an extinction event, abandon your whole entire life, chinook fighter plane carrier streaking over the graduation and, after the quaker church burned down I decided to get out of town. There were other things too. I threw up lobster and vodka after dinner. The dog bit the neighbor. He called because I asked him to and also to say; he missed the dog, and my family, and a little bit me. Psychosis felt like dancing, he tells me on the phone. And you felt like tells me what to do and she feels like take it to the internet, he never had a problem, kicked out of the bar, and then it’s have another baby while there's still precious time. Once, it all felt like lie on a Japanese floor mattress, white arched doorway and we wanted to remember it here and, “I wish I could start it all over before you,” he said. You wake up in the middle of the night in a hotel in the midwest to the sense that you are on the seven hundredth floor and there is no air left. You wake up. But you were already awake then, weren't you? You go to the bathroom, a normal bathroom, normal for a hotel like this. Small, compact, gray, windowless. You close the door, press your back hard against its now steady frame. You imagine that if you opened it again, you would be met with another bathroom just like this. You imagine a million identical bathrooms extending beyond every wall. In the car the next day, you tell him that it’s opposite day. On opposite day, you ask him if he loves you over and over again. You revel in hearing him say no. The charade is comforting. He’s driving recklessly. You drive for hours. The land is flat, his hand is on your thigh, he’s saying things he doesn’t mean and then he’s smirking because you're both in on the joke. He tells you to take her feet off the dash. In case there’s a wreck, he says. You tell him that opposite day is over. “Do you love me?” you ask. “Yes,” he says. “Is it opposite day,” you ask? “No,” he says. “But if it was you’d never know because no means yes and yes means no and…” He finishes explaining the word play. He explains it well. You get it. “Do you get it,” he asks. “Yes,” you say. You don't like these new rules. You are driving too fast, through a field of sunflowers. You think about how you could ask if the sky is blue and if he said yes then she could know that today was a day for telling the truth. You think about what you left behind. “I did not mean to leave those drawings behind at the apartment,” I am saying. The cartoons that he made me and I de-magnetized the fridge on accident and could the drawings be for me, and, “that's ok,” he says. Storm out of another party. He threw cash at me at dinner. Tip over his chair and say the issue is perhaps he never cared and so, it becomes good I was an archivist all along. It is good that nothing bad has ever really happened. He and I walked to the park. The fountain was spraying droplets mixed with rain. The air was sheened rainbow. The bench was covered in packets of ketchup that he was pushing off and down to the ground. He cleared me a seat. We were sitting not in silence, but in conversation that I did not recall even as it happened. “He keeps on taking really somber videos of me like he's already eulogizing me as his Dead Wife," I told Rose on the phone. "Do you know how we could make this even worse?" I asked him. Walk to a circle of wet chalk on the wet pavement. Bad Luck Spot, the writing on the ground says. Plant my feet firmly in the middle, and I wait for the curse to hit. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Sunday, July 6 From 7pm at KGB Bar — I will be reading at Confessions along with Mara Stoner, Sarah Fradkin, John Padula, Cassidy Grady, Annabel Boardman, and more.

Inline links: Confessions

Apocalyptic Ideation

September 26, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, September 15 Joe and Darby drove me back all the way from Washington DC to New York City yesterday. Me, nauseous sort of hungover laid flat in the back seat, shoes pressed up against the already smudged glass window and the September sun reflecting off the highway and the hood of the car and the tar black pavement turning everything so warm inside. A long warm drive where time passed somewhere between not at all and all at once. Too lethargic to really notice. We turned on a tape. The Shirley Jackson story based on all those girls wearing distinct raincoats that were disappearing into the woods around Bennington, Vermont in the 40s and 50s. In the story, nineteen year old Louisa Tether runs away from her beautiful old white wood Massachusetts home and nice-enough family on account of mostly a sense of ambient contempt and a desire for a whole new life. As it turns out, one can get a whole new life without too much trouble. All it takes is swapping out your nice blue jacket for your old rain jacket and retreating to a town that is not too-big but still-big-enough. Three years later, Louisa Tether is Lois Taylor. In the story, Lois Taylor tries very hard to act in accordance to the stories she is telling herself. This, Lois Taylor learns quickly, is what it takes to be a good liar or maybe just a new person, the two are kind of the same in this case. I doze in and out of sleep, but the sound of the audio-book is nice and I am curious what will happen when Louisa decides to come home. “Louisa Please Come Home”, the story is called. It ends with a chance encounter, a change in whims after three years, and the realization, too, that it is just too late. By that point, it is just too late. A three-years-older Louisa washes up at her three-years-older family home and her three-years-older parents and sister look into her just slightly aged face and irrevocably changed eyes. It’s just been too many years of playing pretend. You shouldn’t pretend to be our Louisa, Louisa’s parents say. You have a family who loves you, and you should go home to them. We hope that someday, our Louisa comes home, like you should go home to your parents. Our Louisa was younger than you, Lousia’s father explains. In my own small and strange apartment things are still a bit cluttered but at least nothing is sterile. I made a call and I imagined a big white Massachusetts home. A stone patio in the back and still-green trees and hobby horses in the front. Windows that I could stare in and a door that I could still walk through because I have never run away. An old car and quiet roads and little red berries that crunch underfoot this time of year. Three years is quite some time. This part of the story made me uneasy. The emphasis on how much older all these should-be happy and youthful people look after only three long years. New York City is still so steaming hot. I weigh my options, and decide to stay for a while. Tuesday, September 16 In my life where I am staying for a while, Celia sends me mantras in the night. Today is a good day to become harder to kill and easier to love, Celia says. I have already seen this mantra on Health Gossip, but I appreciate it all the same. I wake up in a room that is small now, and so it is easy to take quick stock of things. The light and the white bedspread and a little gold swan and gold watch and gold cross and black Orca stone of Protection clustered on the edge of the table. Celia is joking I presume, but most things do come down to energy and integrity. Volatility is what emerges when there is energy without integrity. So; I am working on things. In the morning, there are mantras from Celia and there is sludge and dirty water seeping through my ceilings from the bathroom of my always-yelling-upstairs-neighbors. This is not so much a thing of patterns and symbols everywhere for those with eyes to see, and more an indicator that people who are very loud often also live kind of disgusting lives. One kicks into gear. Call the people one should call. Say thank you very much and the anonymity of these things still feels strange. I am very easy to kill like most people are and I don’t really believe in quantifying or even speaking on things like easy to love. There is lymphatic drainage and athletic resistance and pyrogenics and snake oil face tape and blue multi peptide serums and red light therapy and real sort of detox incoming because yes, there needs to be one of those soon. I sat at Dr. Clarke’s with snake venom filled saki and martini and free champagne til late enough last night to say goodbye to friends who come and go in and out in this city and then I wandered home through the remnants of the never-ending-San-Gennaro fair, where teens were scrambling on the ferris wheel and a nice seeming man was shilling free fried oreos. I sat at The Odeon which is really just the perfect restaurant til almost sunset tonight, perched at the bar alone for a while waiting for Celia to arrive, old school vibe, pink and green glowing clock, men walking in straight from the plane carrying luggage. I ran into an architect and an editor and there was talk about throwing a party. Celia arrived full of stories about design and plans that made me full of energy and a night and life that could stretch endlessly if I could find it in me to not flee shortly after dinner. Are we going to an after party, Celia asked me. I presume I’m un-invited because of an incident where I was acting hard to love and easy to kill, I told Celia. That’s ok, Celia told me. We went to a reading instead, where the lamps were stained glass and the stories were about people who are too bored to cook but still need to eat. We went to a party then, too, which is always how these things go and then I wandered home through quiet streets of the Financial District and up a ways and it was too late for anyone to still be out shilling anything or too quiet for me to stop if they were, regardless. The windows were left open at my new and strange apartment and I counted the turtles in the clean water in the pond outside and back inside the water had stopped dripping through the floors of my horrible neighbor’s disgusting and loud apartment. Dirty water, clean water, everything dripping out all over the floor and the pavement and then someone cut the supply and so; the cycles repeated nine million times. The cycles repeated and then they grinded to a halt. Wednesday, September 17 There was the idea of thinking about oneself until one invented an entirely new self. There was the idea of finding the place between past and future which of course logically concludes with present but, definitionally becomes hard to sort out. Something like wading through mud which these rooms often seem to be full of these days. I am reading a story about the Organ Donor Registry and why one should remove oneself at my party on Saturday. You will know you are ready to have a child when you are tired of taking care of yourself, Veronica says, in the story, and she said it to someone else in real life, because this part of the story is true, though it is not a true story. One can think about nostalgia and how to fill a day and right from wrong and if one is sincere or not and how to tell based on things like your own sense of your own soul and the cadence of your voice and often based on things you can kind of just see in the faces of yourself and others. I realized a long time ago that I live a life that people are interested in reading about, K said on the Internet. How to fill a day? I could have been far more voyeuristic about all of it. Instead, I talk about how to fill a day. I could have been far more interesting. If I am going to think about something besides myself it should be something fun like art not physics, Amelia says. I am going to think about: buy a Sony camera and make some flat-lay videos and join Raena Health to figure out the root of things and become very strong from all the climbing and write the story about Gnosticism or what happens when people seek meaning in signs and symbols when it’s all just randomness and is it a form of nihilism to turn towards religion if you are really still not sure? I am skeptical when people are very certain about things, Iris says. You’ve been learning to withhold your opinions but I hope it’s not just because you have none, Celia says. At the party - another party - everyone is very well dressed in things like linen, and I fit right in by coincidence because I am wearing a blue linen shirt. Are you bored yet because I am, Rose says. I am endlessly entertained, I tell Rose. But there were other problems too. Thursday, September 18 You don’t need anything but this, the waiter tells me at 9 Orchard. It is 2pm and hot. He brings me a Tequila espresso martini listed simply on the menu under; Day Drinking. He brings me a salad that is chock full of thin gray hairs so he removes it from the bill. Saoirse joins me. We are here to write in the Blue Room, but both our laptops are dead on arrival which is evidence, really, that neither of us were really here to write at all. We are here to hang, Saoirse keeps on saying. It is productive, really, because there were many things that had to be said at some point, and if a task necessitated completion at some point, well, now is as good a time as any. The bar at Nine Orchard is full of business people and weekday leisure. Wearing sunglasses. Drinking diet coke. I’ve been trying to be less gluttonous about it. Everyone is hoping to take advantage of the last dredges of sun, and so Saoirse gives me a hotel tour and then suggests we go outside. New ownership at the hotels around here. New blazing hot fires in the blue rooms at the hotels where the shades are pulled shut against the still blazing hot autumn resistant summer heat. We do cartwheels in the ballroom. We aren’t asked to leave. Before there was Dimes Square, there was The Metrograph, a German walking tour guide is saying, back on the street. No way that is real, I am saying to Saoirse. I see them all the time, Saoirse is saying to me. We walk to Le Dive. The hours tick onwards and so today is the last day of it. Last days of gluttony. My second-to-last-day in my-gluttenous-life. Saoirse is showing me a free library web application. Saoirse is showing me a free web application to read The Bible a little bit each day and then all at once in one year. Saoirse wants to sit outside. Saorise wants to drink wine. Saoirse wants to remind me how much better my life is now and I want to say; I’m not sure if I agree, I can’t drink sulfates, I am kinder now certainly, I am happy in this moment, I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry. I am so sorry for how I used to be and how I’ve been. I walk home as the sun fades. Plans for self improvement. Plans to revel in solitude (the thing I hate most). Plans to stay for a while. I don’t want to, really. I have been talking about how the apartment is clean but I still won’t let anyone else come inside. I imagine a winter where I was the happiest I’d ever been. You will be that happy again, Saoirse says. It’s ok if I’m not, I say. I imagine it is just one life all at once. I imagine what I think about when I pray. I imagine somewhere else. A place full of wind and desert and proverbial change that wouldn’t come. So, there is nowhere else but here. I decide to stay again. I decide this every day. Friday, September 19 An Aristotelian tragedy requires the tragic figure to be a hero, which is why it is particularly disappointing to suffer while you are feeling irredeemable. Apocalyptic ideation is when you’re thinking about how good you’d be at the apocalypse. Relentless optimism is when you’re challenging your friends just to see if they challenge you back. I wear a black dress to go ballroom dancing. I eat meatballs and gem salad and drink sparkling water at home. What are you doing today, Iris asks. Throwing a party, I respond. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Friday, September 26 From 7pm at EARTH — Patrick McGraw, JT LeRoy and Meg Superstar Princess open for Laura Albert.

Inline links: Health Gossip, EARTH, Laura Albert

Hotel-Life-For-Life

February 04, 2026 · Original source

Monday, January 26 On the first day of the clearest week of the year, I vow to be meticulous about it. As hell and even heaven and all of New York City freezes over in the cold, Olivia keeps on asking if I’m sick of it. Impossible to feel lonely when my opinion on the benchmarks of the weather is demanded at the start of every day. Are you still happy about this? Olivia keeps on asking. It got colder and colder and colder for one week or maybe more. Soon, I expect the cold will break. Soon, there will be something to talk about besides the arctic winds. Although I do find it thrilling and even telling, really, to see how everyone reacts to extremity. I am only being a little bit factious. It is icy and hazy and pale and like playing tetris with myself, finding footholds in the snow banks, this week. Creep past the frozen turtle pond, shut the open window, position my salt stained boots in the divots in ice piles that other passerby’s have left behind. Hidden little trails and maps and loopholes in treacherous places. Exciting places. Game theory in the blizzard. Do you still feel ‘manic’ and ‘energized’ by this, Olivia wants to know. Are you still wearing sheer tights and a-line skirts and enjoying how the wind chill makes everything feel empty? Are you still seeking redemption in the spaces left barren while everyone rushes through tundra streets? Are you still feeling pretentious or maybe just autistic standing stock still and underdressed in courtyards that have never really been yours? This week, I have decided to just say what I really mean. Listening to Dark But Just A Game by Lana del Rey while the sun comes up this morning. Not a new song, but new to me. They are talking about Video Games album anniversary on The Internet this morning. Thank you for my mental illness, girls are saying on the Internet. I tell Olivia that what I remember from this album is before I knew much on the Internet. I remember my mentally ill friend turning on Video Games in a wall to wall carpeted suburban room encased in sunlight and green branches that brushed against wide windows when I was something like thirteen or maybe younger. Turn that stuff off, I remember telling my friend. Turn off those sad and strange songs before we all start to get freaked out. Playing Dark But Just A Game over and over and over again, this morning. Breathing kind of shallow breaths and making calls of confession or maybe complaints. I vowed to be more private about it and then I vowed to make my blog more true. If I cannot speak about something clearly, then I think I will not speak about it at all. In the morning, there is salt stained mirror and la Roche Posay cleanser and peptide moisturizer and mineral sunscreen and amazon tights and a call from Maria saying hotel lobby for lunch, maybe. Rituals like magic. Compulsive documentation. Live-blogging for my live-diary which is mostly just an event calendar plus some but not-so-many lurid life details because I have never been so good at keeping it all so private. The truth of it is, one can return to oneself quite quickly, but this should only have to happen once or maybe twice. In the hotel lobby, a beautiful girl walks in. She is a model, clearly. You are twenty-nine, a horrible man is saying to her, across the table. Good genes, he is saying. He is saying things about a girl like you and you can leave if you want. He is complimenting her grotesquely and it is very understandable why she would feel extremely annoyed. She is very articulate and pretty, though, and seems to know this game. Girls like you have hobbies, the man is saying. Do you have hobbies like art collecting or acoustic music or perhaps even ice skating? The girl is good at modulating her voice, and so my eavesdropping is abruptly cut off. Order: almond milk cappuccino, almond milk matcha, ginger tea, diet coke at Hotel Lobby. Too many beverages . Too many things I want. Discipline is pleasure. Restraint enhances desire. Reading something true on Health Gossip about the things a person must do before they lick the candy wrapper of success and then im thinking o.k perhaps time to cut myself off of this sort of thing for a little bit. Maria wears a red sweater and black pants and orders only two drinks: (1) black coffee and (2) greens juice. I ask Maria to read my diaries and she obliges and then, even highlights the parts she likes best. Too much to say? I ask Maria. No, she says. No and I think your instincts would stop you before you really said anything too uncouth. Too panopticoned? I ask. It’s fine to talk about faux-purity, Maria says. Nightfall in the hotel lobby, where the lights are yellow and glowing and dark and my computer screen is starting to look fluorescent and bright and bad, in contrast to the low-light and well-curated vibe they have fired up in here. A friend group I was eavesdropping on in rather nefarious and uncouth ways have gone silent, now. The man across the couch from me is talking about working on a film pilot in Malaysia and a need-for-speed and also thirty-million-dollars. He could never do what you are doing, two of the girls in the friend group were telling the third, earlier, as she sobbed. Do what you’re doing, being: sobbing in hotel lobby. Radical vulnerability in hotel lobby. I am feeling nefarious and busy body and a little bit mean. We’re your friends so we sure are going to be kind to you, the two girls had been telling the third. Just because our mothers were born in the wrong generation, does not mean they can’t listen-and-learn. Ordered tonic water and avocado and adopted vaguely negative vibe towards; people who did not know they were being panopticoned. Girls whose conversation I could have just let flow around me like water. There’s stagnation in judging harshly, particularly in judging people with whom I am totally uninvolved. No one in the world knows where I am right now, but anyone who wanted to could probably guess. And it’s not that I think it’s particularly good or even beneficial to be cultivating mystique, but once secrets are in the air they swirl around forever, and so one might want to hold some things a bit closer to one’s chest. Pitch black outside, which makes it even more warm or silver in here, depending on where I look. Lily texts me - I would like to spend a day like you did. We can recreate my whole day, I respond. We can recreate the good days. We can eradicate all slush. I can tell you all about what actually happened. Soon, I will walk home in the freezing and sparkling night in my black and soleless ballet flats. I will slip on ice and look at the moon and Washington Square Park archway and the dark and getting even darker sky. I’ve been feeling kind of desperate to chronicle the things that are mine, if I’m being honest about it. Hold onto the things I never lost. This is different from grasping onto things that never were or no longer are, yours. Parties last week, but I don’t really remember. Party last weekend, but full of people I didn’t want to see. Party tonight, and I wear athleisure to the bar and make a friend who shares my name and also my sensibilities. We’re here because of your blog, someone tells me, at the bar. We’re here because we just made a film in Nigeria and now we’re moving to Rome to work for Vatican II. We’re here because of an article that everyone hates. Birthday party. Renaissance themed karaoke. Did you just meet and become best friends, someone asks me and my new friend. We all go outside to smoke a cigarette. Duh, I respond. This is always how it goes with new and fast friends. In my room, tonight, and I’ve been feeling good and normal. The cleaner my room gets, the more I remember. At the bar tonight, I met someone who lives in a hotel-for-life. Is everything perfect-all-the-time? I asked the hotel-inhabitant. Is everything clean and contained and curated and beautiful and taken care of? Do you order room service for dinner? If you develop a problem, is it immediately fixed? In my room, there is a computer and also a wooden music box that plays Silent Night when opened. Inside the box, there are blue little blue pearls and letters and a ballerina that spins. Above my bed, there are lace white curtains newly pinned over courtyard-facing open windows. The curtains are there to keep out ice and possibly fire-escape intruders. The unearthed music box is the reward for cleaning my room. Thinking about rabbit holes I’d like to really delve into next. Getting texts from friends from online who go by names after celestial objects. Thinking about Saorise’s brand new robot that sends her pilates-training-packets. Thinking about Esoteric Health Book Club. Saint Teresa de Ávila. Thinking about no more vice. Everything has frozen over and hovered and smoothed itself thin in the months that came in between. Descents into madness happen very quickly, my new friend was saying, today, at the bar, where everything was more lovely than I could possibly have imagined. We were talking about cults, because the topic does arise even in beautiful places. Talking about posture. Talking about cult leaders. Matchmakers. Scammers. Beautiful lives. The Places To Be.. Hours later, now. Home, now. Still listening to Jeff Buckley “Forget Her” and Lana del Rey “Dark But Just a Game” on repeat because I love pleasure in excess. So addicted to everything. I can get addicted to good things too, I think. Tomorrow, I will fall asleep in a snowy white house in the woods. We will get vanilla milkshakes on the drive down. Many rooms. Plans to cook dinner. Last summer, I wanted very badly to drive to this house in July. I wanted to find secret waterfalls and secret gardens, too. It’s a house just an hour or so from the city where I used to go often, and I remember the surroundings as very green. I remember fighter jets over Celia’s graduation. I remember Rose writing her social security number up and down her arms in sharpie, last summer, because chaos was kind of the objective everyone was seeking, then. Enough reminiscing. Same songs, over and over and over again. Opening my window because it is time for bed. Tell yourself over and over and over, Jeff Buckley keeps saying. He died early with something to show for it. Addicted to repeating myself. Addicted to new beginnings and no more false starts. Working on getting addicted to continuity now, I think. I will become totally obsessed with continuity. What a relief. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Wednesday, February 4 From 6pm - 8pm at Latitude Gallery — Unbridled: Horsin Around opens; a salon-style group exhibition celebrating the Year of the Horse.

Inline links: Latitude Gallery, Unbridled: Horsin Around

Rachel Coster3 mentions across 3 issues

Rachel Coster is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 3 times across 3 issues between February 17, 2025 and December 22, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "ft Caroline Calloway, Rachel Coster, Jay Jurden, Luke Rathborne, and Ivy Wolk"; "Matthew Danger Lippman, Rachel Coster (Boy's Room)"; "Ft Edy Modica, Jacqueline Blizzard, Rachel Coster, and more". It most often appears alongside Los Angeles, Night Club 101, Billy Pedlow.

Article page: Rachel Coster
Mention count: 3
Issue count: 3
First seen: February 17, 2025
Last seen: December 22, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

My lame blog February 17, 2025
Hotel Lobby Gossip December 09, 2025
COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025

Los Angeles 3 shared issues
Night Club 101 3 shared issues
Billy Pedlow 2 shared issues
Blade Study 2 shared issues
David Fishkind 2 shared issues

Source context

My lame blog

February 17, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm (doors at 7pm) at Jean’s — The Thing Is… returns. This is the most talked about show in town, and it's a really good lineup tonight, ft Caroline Calloway, Rachel Coster, Jay Jurden, Luke Rathborne, and Ivy Wolk. A limited number of premium VIP tickets can be purchased to guarantee entry here. Hosted by Alex Arthur and produced by John Doe & Co. Sponsored by Loser's and Laila. Love is in the air these weeks, and it seems like every party has a sex / love adjacent sponsor. I tend to think the last thing we need is more dating apps, but I love real life, I love TheThingIs, and I love Jeans.

Inline links: Jean’s, The Thing Is, here

Hotel Lobby Gossip

December 09, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm at Night Club 101 — It’s a X-Mass Xtravganza, ft Luke Rathborne, Matthew Danger Lippman, Rachel Coster (Boy’s Room), Sophie Becker, Elsie Fisher, and DJ Charlotte Ercoli.

Inline links: Night Club 101, X-Mass Xtravganza

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm at The Bell House — Unmatched brings a night of passionate comedy followed by a one time screening of a secret project about a timeless topic: love! Ft Edy Modica, Jacqueline Blizzard, Rachel Coster, and more| tickets here

Inline links: The Bell House, Unmatched, here

Ruby Sutton3 mentions across 3 issues

Ruby Sutton is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 3 times across 3 issues between October 02, 2024 and July 15, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by … Ruby Sutton , and Dull"; "writer Ruby Sutton"; "Recommended reading prior - Ruby Sutton on Luis Frangella". It most often appears alongside Annabel Boardman, Beverly's, Brooklyn.

Article page: Ruby Sutton
Mention count: 3
Issue count: 3
First seen: October 02, 2024
Last seen: July 15, 2025
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

Ways to be sincere. October 02, 2024
Everything I Wanted October 21, 2024
Summer Break July 15, 2025

Annabel Boardman 2 shared issues
Beverly's 2 shared issues
Brooklyn 2 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 2 shared issues
Confessions 2 shared issues

Source context

Ways to be sincere.

October 02, 2024 · Original source

Sunday, October 6 from 7pm — Confessions is back at KGB. Readings by Zack Graham, Cassidy Grady, Annabel Boardman, Austin Fickle, Sophie Dess, Catie Fronczack, Ruby Sutton, and Dull.

Inline links: Confessions, KGB, Zack Graham, Cassidy Grady, Annabel Boardman, Catie Fronczack, Ruby Sutton, Dull

Everything I Wanted

October 21, 2024 · Original source

From 3pm - 6pm at MoMA — Visual AIDS hosts the second annual symposium celebrating the lives and legacies of artists documented in the Visual AIDS Archive, the largest collection of images and biographical information about HIV-positive artists. The event includes new research by filmmaker María José Maldonado, writer Ruby Sutton, and scholar Eduardo Carrera

Inline links: MoMA, Visual AIDS, Ruby Sutton

Summer Break

July 15, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm at 311 East Broadway — NADA Talks presents Alan Barrows of Civilian Warfare & Andrew Woolbright as part of Summer 2025 Conversation Series. Civilian Warfare. It showed David Wojnarowicz, Greer Lankton, Luis Frangela and many others in the East Village during the 80s and the AIDS crisis. I’m very excited about this. Recommended reading prior - Ruby Sutton on Luis Frangella

Inline links: NADA Talks, Ruby Sutton on Luis Frangella

Ruby Zuckerman3 mentions across 3 issues

Ruby Zuckerman is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 3 times across 3 issues between September 26, 2025 and January 08, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings". It most often appears alongside Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, Evan Laffer, Los Angeles.

Article page: Ruby Zuckerman
Mention count: 3
Issue count: 3
First seen: September 26, 2025
Last seen: January 08, 2026
Instagram handle: @ruby.zuckerman

Outbound links

Issue trail

Apocalyptic Ideation September 26, 2025
COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
Lost Week January 08, 2026

Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research 3 shared issues
Evan Laffer 3 shared issues
Los Angeles 3 shared issues
Abigail Ogilvy Gallery 2 shared issues
Addie 2 shared issues

Source context

Apocalyptic Ideation

September 26, 2025 · Original source

LOS ANGELES - From 7pm at Taix — Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings by Mariah Flores, Ben Loory, Jesse Pearson, Nick Plett, Zara Schuster, and Gabby Sones. | Tickets from $10. Advance only. Venmo @evanlaffer.

Inline links: Taix, Evan Laffer, Ruby Zuckerman

December 22, 2025 · Original source

Los Angeles - From 7pm at Red Lion Tavern — Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko, Madeleine Kunkle, Joseph Moscow, and Sarah Wang.

Inline links: Red Lion Tavern, Evan Laffer, Ruby Zuckerman

January 08, 2026 · Original source

Los Angeles - From 7pm at Red Lion Tavern — Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko, Madeleine Kunkle, Joseph Moscow, and Sarah Wang.

Inline links: Red Lion Tavern, Evan Laffer, Ruby Zuckerman

Rachel Rabbit White2 mentions across 2 issues

Rachel Rabbit White is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between May 19, 2024 and February 10, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "party and readings by Juliana Huxtable, Ed Steck, and Rachel Rabbit White"; "readings and performances by Rachel Rabbit White". It most often appears alongside Dirty Mag, Parent Company, The Knickerbocker.

Article page: Rachel Rabbit White
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: May 19, 2024
Last seen: February 10, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #1 May 19, 2024
February Dining. February 10, 2025

Dirty Mag 2 shared issues
Parent Company 2 shared issues
The Knickerbocker 2 shared issues
131 Chrystie St 1 shared issues
Ahmed 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #1

May 19, 2024 · Original source

Saturday, May 25 - WONDER presenting party and readings by Juliana Huxtable, Ed Steck, and Rachel Rabbit White at Dirty Mag HQ

Inline links: WONDER, Dirty Mag HQ

February Dining.

February 10, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm— TENSE presents Rapture; a Valentine’s Day Soiree at KGB/Private Curtain. The lineup for this is spectacular, with readings and performances by Rachel Rabbit White, Nico Walker, Beckett Rosset, Maya Martinez, Dorothea Laskey, Valley Latini, Kyla Ernst Alper, and more. Come dance, drink, express your love, or fall in love. Tickets: $20

Inline links: TENSE, Rapture; a Valentine’s Day Soiree

Rachel Wiseman2 mentions across 2 issues

Rachel Wiseman is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between June 06, 2024 and June 24, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "What Are Children For? by Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman"; "I've been lucky enough to work with authors Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman". It most often appears alongside Anastasia Berg, Beckett Rosset, Celsius.

Article page: Rachel Wiseman
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: June 06, 2024
Last seen: June 24, 2024

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #3 June 06, 2024
COLLECTED AGENDA #4 June 24, 2024

Anastasia Berg 2 shared issues
Beckett Rosset 2 shared issues
Celsius 2 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 2 shared issues
KGB 2 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #3

June 06, 2024 · Original source

Wednesday, June 12 from 7 - 11pm at TJ Byrnes - The Point will be celebrating the release of issue 32 (What Are Men For?) and the book launch for What Are Children For? by Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman.

Inline links: TJ Byrnes, The Point will be celebrating the release of issue 32, What Are Children For

COLLECTED AGENDA #4

June 24, 2024 · Original source

Evening, I’m at McNally Jackson, SoHo for the official launch of What Are Children For?. I’ve been lucky enough to work with authors Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman over the past few weeks, and it’s nice to hear the book discussed in person. Everyone is talking about motherhood right now, but there’s a philosophical lucidity and a profound sense of humanism in the book’s research and prose that is utterly unique. The evening at McNally Jackson is in conversation with Elizabeth Bruenig - author of On Human Slaughter; “Incisive, compassionate, and revelatory reporting from America’s death row”. What Are Children For? in conversation with On Human Slaughter - I buy my mom a copy of the prior, and my dad a copy of the latter.

Inline links: McNally Jackson, SoHo, What Are Children For?, Everyone is talking about motherhood right now, On Human Slaughter

Ray Peat2 mentions across 2 issues

Ray Peat is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between January 19, 2025 and November 19, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "I ate half his bread and butter even though I've been so Ray Peat"; "Do you know about Ray Peat, our guests asked". It most often appears alongside Dimes Square, @jeansdown, @thegirljt.

Article page: Ray Peat
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: January 19, 2025
Last seen: November 19, 2025

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

January continues January 19, 2025
Winter (03) November 19, 2025

Dimes Square 2 shared issues
@jeansdown 1 shared issues
@thegirljt 1 shared issues
accelerationism 1 shared issues
Ada Antoinette 1 shared issues

Source context

Counterculture in America

January 19, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Sunday, January 12 Ruby and I go to Bar Belly for dinner. Can we move to a table away from the bar, Ruby asks the waitress. Sitting at the bar is bad for your posture and alignment, she explains. This is another thing she's been learning at witch school. It seems that at witch school, you learn to sit and stand and then by proxy, to eat and sleep and breathe and think. Fruit and honey for breakfast, feet on the ground when you are seated with an unsupported spine. I am craving spiritual guidance, and so I soak this up like a sponge. I want to be taught how to be. This is how you wake up. This is how you shift your feet out of bed, this is how you land on the wood floor, toes first, the arches of your feet, then heels. The truth of it is my movements are products of my best but often misguided judgment. Guesses, really. For all I know, you should wake up in the morning upside down. Palms on the ground first. Heels then arches then toes. I want to learn how to be divine, but there are so many shamans and they all know best. God forbid I become sacrilegious. I certainly know myself to be fringing on this at times. Even the mention of shamans.... Ruby and I were going to go to El Salvador on Tuesday, but then I’m thinking about how I should read more before I continue my research on the ground. I visited El Salvador this summer. Later, halted my story about crypto-charter-state-red-light-therapy-benevolent-dictatorship etc etc etc. A result of overstimulation and laziness - I should deepen my roots before I return to them. Later, I'll go later. David sends me an X Post: “Wish we lived in 1970s media economy so esquire or playboy could fly me to El Salvador and publish my 10,000-word marginally-coherent slice-of-life coverage of the crypto convention that ends with a guy in a hot tub saying something accidentally zeitgeisty.” Ruby and I go to Forgetmenot. There’s a dog behind me, a big white husky, I hold out my hand to pet him and he gives me his paw. He does this a few times. He’s trained, I’m sure, to expect a reward in response but we’ve ordered a grill plate, there’s only halloumi left, I don’t want to poison the poor thing. Ruby posts a picture of me with the dog, but I’m in my big puffy jacket, and it mostly becomes just a picture of the dog. She tags my name on the screen. David sends me a screenshot of the picture. “DID YOU TURN INTO A DOG???” he asks. I order David ice cream from Figo when I get home. I ate half his bread and butter even though I've been so Ray Peat and even though after, I’ve been so Keto. I've been drinking again, hence the bread. Not a lot, but I was sober for a week, and the three drinks feel jarring. I've decided to stop causing problems. I've decided to get a job at a restaurant. I like the service industry, because the job is intensely exterior. There are many things so close to me of true significance, and I'm sick of ignoring them in favor of acting like a grasping freak. Monday, January 13 And so, you decide to redecorate again. Look at the layout of this place. There’s so much potential. There’s a big marble table and it’s cramping every corner. It’s cramping the light from the window. It’s cramping the yellow golden light that is framing our mirror. I go downstairs quickly, the light will be gone soon. I want to get a flight tomorrow, leave with my friends and find clarity in the hot humid heat, but it doesn’t feel like I'll be absorbing myself in something more - it feels like escape, and I haven’t earned this decadence. I’ve been deliberating all day. I’ve been clutching my evil eye in case I do decide to travel. All my friends wear evil eyes, too. It’s a strange coincidence - something most people I'm drawn to share, not intentional. I'm not religious, but this is different. Adele keeps a drawer in her apartment full of evil eyes, stocked to the brim in case one charm coincidently shatters. She'll never have to go unprepared. I take a test today. Sent, received, complete, returned. It’s so thrilling to do something I’m supposed to do. If we got rid of the marble table…. If we lined the walls with floor pillows below the windows, their tufted fabric landing well lower than the horizon line even when stacked…. I can imagine the furniture gone. Me, staring clearly across the room, one wall to another. I'm imagining all the clutter dissipated. I imagine it would erase some sense of static. I can imagine my hypothetical week in El Salvador, but I need to learn how to think about something outside of myself, even when I’m here. It would be better there. I can picture the airbnb in San Benito, the eight or so bedrooms, the open air layout that big homes in warm climates often share, arches bleeding into courtyards, steps built into hills, unclear where one room becomes another, wind and heat lightning swirling around you and raising your hair as your walking, even through the kitchen, even ostensibly inside. I want to swim in a big clear pool over a city that is now vaguely familiar but still, not really mine. I want to finish the story I started. New England Winter. I need to learn how to sort things through while staying put. David and I go to Estela for dinner. It’s our anniversary. He tells me not to say anything online about it. Private life should stay private, he says, but I’m writing it anyway. Estela is nice. It’s the sister restaurant of Altro Paradiso. My friend, Madelyn works there. Estela is smaller, cozier, you have to buzz to get into the building and then it’s up some steps, it feels like you’re in an apartment, it feels like you’re in Berlin. I’ve never been to Copenhagen, but I imagine it feels a bit like Copenhagen, too. “I like more old timey restaurants,” David says. “Me too,” I say. “But sometimes isn’t it nice to be in a restaurant that feels like Copenhagen? David agrees. He’s never been to Copenhagen either. Altro Paradiso is brightly lit, whereas Estela is dim. Stella - Latin for Star. Etc. The distinction feels a little obvious, but then, I’m being a little particular. Estela is small plates. Romantic. You can tell because you have to buzz the door to get in, and because the lighting is really dark. They put us in a little alcove by the shelves and shelves of wine. We order iberico ham, bread and butter, endive salad, crab with celery root (the best dish), squid ink fried rice with little bits of squid, steak with elderberry sauce. I order a Tito's martini, but I’m told they don’t serve Titos here. I’m told they have one martini with vodka that “tastes like smirnoff” ($22) and another with vodka that’s way better and far preferable (paraphrased) ($30). Our waitress is peppy. “We’ll take the Smirnoff,” David says. “She’s nice,” I say, later. “Domineering,” David says. Later, the waitress rolls her eyes a little when she asks me how my martini is. She smiles when I say good. I believe she is sincere in her hope that I’m happy as I guzzle up the fruits of my lowbrow taste. It really is a lovely meal. I don’t mean to be cynical. I tell David he should tell them it’s our anniversary so we can have something free, and he tells them “it’s our anniversary, can we have dessert on the house.” Then, I’m embarrassed, but they bring us dessert (with a price) and champagne (on the house). Tuesday, January 14 I’ve been working on maintaining constant motion. “An object in motion will stay in motion,” I’ve been telling anyone that will listen. I walk in place all day, and then I walk through Washington Square Park at night, freezing. I make sure to do an extra lap to circle under the arch, all sparkling and illuminated and icy. I’m thirty minutes late to the Post-Doomerism talk at Gonzo’s, and this feels like an important one to me because I used to base my entire framework of thought around mitigating dread through a surrender to the inevitability of fates worse than death. It’s a terrible way to view the world - juvenile if nothing else, but also aesthetically and morally barren, limiting, a nihilistic obsession with the present does lead to destruction (yourself and others), no matter how many delusions you harbor about enlightenment, and about time and therefore preservation as false constructs. You can’t be nihilistic if you believe in good and evil, and I do believe in good and evil, so it was never going to hold up. Post Doomerism The lecture is just starting when I exit the elevator. The talk is between Chris Small (founder of Amazon Labor Union), PradaHorseShoe (founder of Russian Cosmism Circle NYC), Joshua Citarella (Doomscroll Podcast), and Geo Yankey (Comedian) “Russian Cosmists think that Marx doesn't take it far enough,” Amana explains. “Marxism wants to abolish capitalism, religion, the family…. but what about abolishing the OG bummer - death.” The point of the talk seems to be to present a sort of leftist vision of tech accelerationism. Capitalist Realism, the parts of the industrial revolution deemed actually good, nuclear fusion (clean and limitless energy which imitates the sun) instead of nuclear fission, fossil fuels , etc etc etc. The audience, on the other hand, is mostly composed of people I recognize from other downtown events - this one taking on an uncharacteristic and somewhat academic sincerity. “Hypothetically, heat death could occur before we run out of fuel,” a girl sitting next to me murmurs at one point, evidently at least somewhat convinced by technology’s capacity for limitless good. I try to conjure a sense of what she’s imagining in my mind's eye - create enough clean energy, and you could be driving your car one day when the whole universe just implodes. This isn’t aspirational to me. Longevity even, has never been particularly aspirational to me, although increasingly moreso, I’m increasingly less cynical. I appreciate the sincerity of the lecture. I appreciate some of the ideas they put forward, too. It’s an irony-pilled audience and they're sitting in a deeply earnest room. I slip out during the Q&A - overwhelmed, honestly, and I’m late to another function. I’m handed a gin and tonic in the Lower East Side. I’m talking about the Russian Cosmism lecture. “Lenin tried that and 20 million people died,” I am told. “I don’t really know enough,” I say. I’m sent a documentary about The Tyranny of Scientism. I order some things like the books by Nick Zurnig and Mark Fisher. It’s good to be objective. The night slips onward. It’s rude to talk about accelerationism at a party. Wednesday, January 16 It's slightly warmer in New York today. It's still cold, but it's less frigid, I'm walking through Soho typing, I'm walking to Equinox, I'll finish writing this on the treadmill, I had such a fun night last night although I do feel terribly guilty about squandering my health and my beauty and my soul every time I get drunk. I was such a good drunk, though. I adore my friends so deeply. I adore my new friends. I think they are my best friends. I’m trying not to quantify everything. There are names of people I love spinning through my mind, now. Why order things. Some people exhaust me, and then there are other people who don’t. I’ve found new friends who live artfully while occupying a natural state that is absorbed with the physical world, recently. How lucky for me. I don’t want to use my volatility as a bludgeon with which to bend people to my whims. Good thing I don’t feel particularly volatile this week. It’s best to consider these while outside of them. Objective introspection: am I doing a good job? WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Gofundme + LA Fire Resources here. Sunday, January 19 From 6pm - midnight at EARTH — Jordan Castro and Cluny present SILENCE. An evening of silence. No speaking, no phones.

Winter (03)

November 19, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, November 11 The first winter when I started to understand how things work here, I was crazy with momentum. Crazy like I was floating in air or maybe even made of it. It all started because it was too cold to walk slowly outside, and once we started picking up the pace - a quick clip in the night and the snow and it was a particularly windy winter - then everything else started to spiral a bit out of control. I wore velvet dresses to magazine offices for Christmas parties that winter and I was generally very uninhibited. I floated very warm and drunk off hot wine through a basement in Chinatown full of books and Arabian rugs for many nights in a row. In one night alone, I lost my voice and my phone and my sense of time passing all along. Sairose helped me wash up in the back of some night club, in a purple-lit party designed to simulate the void, at home and in love and in Los Angeles for a respite from the cold and all the can’t-stop-motion that came with it. Anyways, I slept on a floor under white arched ceilings pressed against a radiator for a few months after that. And I was certain I was not ready to be old yet and I’m still not, really, but there were other things too. 8am (present) - The first real day of winter, and so everything freezes over and then quiets in the soft start of snow outside. It’s fish and soup season, an old man at Caffe Reggio is saying. It reminds me of The Godfather (1972) in here, the old man is laughing. Stained glass lamps and the replicas of the Carvaggio paintings and white tiled ceilings and, since I gave up vice the goal has become to be a bit more quiet and clean about everything. Amelia wears Dries Van Noten jeans and a Calvin Klein black sweater and prada boots to meet me in the morning snow and read the things I wrote on paper. In the mornings, this time of year, it is good to brew things like bone broth, hot apple cider from the amish market, sardines in tomato sauce, your throat in black seed oil, your face in red light, and your thoughts in memories that resurface and ideas that reconstruct away from the architectures of unhappiness. Your aphorisms don’t make a ton of sense, Amelia tells me. I’m not writing aphorisms, I’m writing optimizations, I tell Amelia. At the bar last night, we ordered Fernets and diet coke and asked our guests if they considered themselves well adjusted and if they had tips to share pertaining to Esoteric Health. Do you know about Ray Peat, our guests asked. Do you know about royal jelly and methalyn blue and red light chicken lamps? Do you know about making good decisions for the benefit of yourself and the people around you? Kind of dizzy from two fernets on an empty stomach, Celia made a joke about her life and how it overlapped with mine. Don’t ever make any comparison to your life as it pertains to mine, I snapped. The bar was loud and so no one heard the vitriol but her. Is this what you want more than anything in the world?, Celia asked. To be able to say and do whatever you want without consequence? Howling wind outside, and we’ve been working on temperance. I wanted a lot of things, but I mostly wanted that. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Wednesday, November 19 From 7:00 - 8:30pm at Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Cabin Pressure opened yesterday, and there’s another performance tonight! A new play by Adi Eshman, directed by Jennesy Herrera. - “Set in a cabin at a ski resort, What begins as a light-hearted getaway spirals into a cocaine-and-beer-fueled disaster, with the groom’s sober brother-in-law as the unwilling witness to the chaos.” | tickets here (additional performances Nov 20, 21, 22)

Inline links: Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, Adi Eshman, Jennesy Herrera, here

Rebecca Grace Cyr2 mentions across 2 issues

Rebecca Grace Cyr is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between May 19, 2024 and May 28, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "MuuMuu House reading at EARTH with...Rebecca Grace Cyr, Tao Lin"; "MuuMuu House reading at EARTH with ... Rebecca Grace Cyr"; "Jordan Castro, Rebecca Grace Cyr, Tao Lin, Writers Life Tips". It most often appears alongside August Lamm, Chloe Pingeon, Dasha Nekrasova.

Article page: Rebecca Grace Cyr
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: May 19, 2024
Last seen: May 28, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #1 May 19, 2024
COLLECTED AGENDA #2 May 28, 2024

August Lamm 2 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 2 shared issues
Dasha Nekrasova 2 shared issues
EARTH 2 shared issues
Jordan Castro 2 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #1

May 19, 2024 · Original source

Tuesday, May 28 - MuuMuu House reading at EARTH with August Lamm, Dasha Nekrasova, Jordan Castro, Rebecca Grace Cyr, Tao Lin, Writers Life Tips

Inline links: MuuMuu House, EARTH

COLLECTED AGENDA #2

May 28, 2024 · Original source

Tuesday, May 28 at 7pm -MuuMuu House reading at EARTH with August Lamm, Dasha Nekrasova, Jordan Castro, Rebecca Grace Cyr, Tao Lin, Writers Life Tips

Inline links: MuuMuu House, EARTH

Reiji Fukitsu2 mentions across 2 issues

Reiji Fukitsu is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between October 14, 2024 and November 12, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Reiji Fukitsu presents a solo exhibition from Japan"; "featuring works by August Lamm, Reiji Fukitsu, Maya Man, and more". It most often appears alongside Arden Wohl, Chloe Pingeon, Christopher Zeischegg.

Article page: Reiji Fukitsu
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: October 14, 2024
Last seen: November 12, 2024
Instagram handle: @reiji_fukitsu

Outbound links

Issue trail

October in America October 14, 2024
Counterculture in America November 12, 2024

Arden Wohl 2 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 2 shared issues
Christopher Zeischegg 2 shared issues
Electric Pussycat 2 shared issues
Jean's 2 shared issues

Source context

October in America

October 14, 2024 · Original source

From 1pm - 9pm at Pretty Garden Club — Reiji Fukitsu presents a solo exhibition from Japan. Attendees at “All The Paintings Are Orphans” will receive a complimentary free comic zine.

Inline links: Pretty Garden Club, Reiji Fukitsu

November 12, 2024 · Original source

From 6pm - 10pm — Pretty Garden Club hosts a closing party and one night exhibition, featuring works by August Lamm, Reiji Fukitsu, Maya Man, and more.

Inline links: Pretty Garden Club, August Lamm, Reiji Fukitsu, Maya Man

Reuben Dendinger2 mentions across 2 issues

Reuben Dendinger is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between November 05, 2024 and November 13, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by Tess Manhattan, Reuben Dendinger, and Chris Zeischegg"; "Cursed Images author Reuben Dendinger". It most often appears alongside Alex Katz, Christopher Zeischegg, Matthew Barney.

Article page: Reuben Dendinger
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: November 05, 2024
Last seen: November 13, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Playing With Glass November 05, 2024
Collected Agenda with Lydia Sviatoslavsky November 13, 2024

Alex Katz 2 shared issues
Christopher Zeischegg 2 shared issues
Matthew Barney 2 shared issues
Matthew Donovan 2 shared issues
O'Flaherty's 2 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2024 · Original source

From 7pm at Sovereign House — Christopher Zeischegg makes a rare NYC appearance to celebrate the launch of The Magician with a night of alter egos. I recently read and loved this book - “an incantatory trip into the heart of darkness”. Come as you are (or as you are not). Readings by Tess Manhattan, Reuben Dendinger, and Chris Zeischegg. A short film screening of THE MAGICIAN will follow, inspired by the harrowing story behind the text.

Inline links: Sovereign House, Christopher Zeischegg, The Magician, Tess Manhattan

One Million Billion Interludes

November 13, 2024 · Original source

Chris, who I haven’t yet met in person, is visiting from LA for the event. The lineup is solid: artist-writer Tess Manhattan, Cursed Images author Reuben Dendinger, and Chris himself. A screening of The Magician short film (inspired by the making of text) will follow the readings. Later, Senegalese experimental hip hop artist iD-SuS will take the stage.

Inline links: Tess Manhattan, Cursed Images, iD-SuS

Rex Detiger2 mentions across 2 issues

Rex Detiger is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between November 27, 2025 and December 02, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "open bar from 11-12pm + DJ Rex Detiger"; "DJ sets by Rex Detiger and Crowdsurfers". It most often appears alongside Celia, 98th Academy Awards, A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving.

Article page: Rex Detiger
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: November 27, 2025
Last seen: December 02, 2025

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

One Million Billion Interludes November 27, 2025
Florida, Massachusetts (03) December 02, 2025

Celia 2 shared issues
98th Academy Awards 1 shared issues
A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving 1 shared issues
Airliner 1 shared issues
Albany 1 shared issues

Source context

November 27, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm - 3am at Jean’s — Alex Arthur hosts A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving. Celebrate Thanksgiving Eve with an open bar from 11-12pm + DJ Rex Detiger. Sa

Inline links: A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving

December 02, 2025 · Original source

From 9pm - 12pm at WSA — “Office Party” “Holiday Party” for New York’s builders, investors, and tastemakers. Ft a special operatic performance by Cami Árboles and dance performance by Isabella Basha. DJ sets by Rex Detiger and Crowdsurfers. Hosted by Office Magazine, Family Office, Nikole Naloy, and others. Attire: business formal. RSVP here.

Inline links: WSA, here

Rhea Dillon2 mentions across 2 issues

Rhea Dillon is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between May 13, 2025 and September 26, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Featuring performances from ... Rhea Dillon, Precious Okoyomon"; "Exhibitions by Sam Contis , Rhea Dillon , Eric N. Mack , and Diane Simpson open". It most often appears alongside Associated, JT Leroy, Laura Albert.

Article page: Rhea Dillon
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: May 13, 2025
Last seen: September 26, 2025
Instagram handle: @rheadillon

Outbound links

Issue trail

Panopticon-ing Everyone May 13, 2025
Apocalyptic Ideation September 26, 2025

Associated 2 shared issues
JT Leroy 2 shared issues
Laura Albert 2 shared issues
Los Angeles 2 shared issues
SAA 2 shared issues

Source context

Panopticon-ing Everyone

May 13, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm - 9pm — Health Gossip and Hard to Read present Tea Party; a fundraising event for One Love Community Fridge and the COIN program at Callen-Lorde, in honor of the late Cecilia Gentili. Featuring performances from Sotce, K8 Hardy, Cynthia Leung, Cruz Valdez, Rhea Dillon, Precious Okoyomon, plus surprise guests. Water tasting with Amalia Ulman, tea, tinctures, and treats, curated health gossip-y books. Few events excited me more than this one. I absolutely cannot wait, and I wouldn’t miss this for the world.

Inline links: Health Gossip, Hard to Read, Tea Party

Apocalyptic Ideation

September 26, 2025 · Original source

From 4pm - 7pm at American Academy of Arts and Letters — Exhibitions by Sam Contis, Rhea Dillon, Eric N. Mack, and Diane Simpson open.

Inline links: American Academy of Arts and Letters, Sam Contis, Rhea Dillon, Eric N. Mack

Rhett Bixler2 mentions across 2 issues

Rhett Bixler is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between December 22, 2025 and January 08, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "DJ: Sofia D'Angelo + Rhett Bixler". It most often appears alongside Abigail Ogilvy Gallery, Addie, Adrienne Greenblatt.

Article page: Rhett Bixler
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: December 22, 2025
Last seen: January 08, 2026
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
Lost Week January 08, 2026

Abigail Ogilvy Gallery 2 shared issues
Addie 2 shared issues
Adrienne Greenblatt 2 shared issues
Adrienne Hunter 2 shared issues
Alamo Drafthouse 2 shared issues

Source context

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm at Paul’s Casablanca – Iris Simoe is hosting. DJ: Sofia D’Angelo + Rhett Bixler

January 08, 2026 · Original source

From 11pm at Paul’s Casablanca – Iris Simoe is hosting. DJ: Sofia D’Angelo + Rhett Bixler

Rina2 mentions across 2 issues

Rina is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between March 07, 2025 and May 21, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Rina hosts The Curse of Medusa, single release party"; "Rina throws a launch party for the release of Vulnerable". It most often appears alongside Betsey Brown, Callie Reiff, DJ Shawty.

Article page: Rina
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: March 07, 2025
Last seen: May 21, 2025
Instagram handle: @vclvetlatte

Outbound links

Issue trail

52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025
Total Nightmare Policy May 21, 2025

Betsey Brown 2 shared issues
Callie Reiff 2 shared issues
DJ Shawty 2 shared issues
Fanelli Cafe 2 shared issues
KGB 2 shared issues

Source context

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Drink More Water Store (9 Monroe St) — Rina hosts The Curse of Medusa, single release party. DJ sets throughout the night, tarot readings, and drinks at the bar.

Inline links: Rina

May 21, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm at Shinsen — Rina throws a launch party for the release of Vulnerable - the single and music video. Hosted by Leg5 and Page Garcia. Multiple dj sets and photographers. - “go out every night and act like a ****”

Inline links: Shinsen, Rina

Rob Franklin2 mentions across 2 issues

Rob Franklin is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between March 12, 2025 and July 15, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by ...Ryan Peterson, Rob Franklin, Sarah Sharp, and Matt Star"; "Readings from Lillian Fishman, Rob Franklin, Hannah Kingsley-Ma, and Erica Peplin". It most often appears alongside Annabel Boardman, Beverly's, Camille Sojit Pejcha.

Article page: Rob Franklin
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: March 12, 2025
Last seen: July 15, 2025
Instagram handle: @nkrchtr

Outbound links

Issue trail

Rules for Clarity March 12, 2025
Summer Break July 15, 2025

Annabel Boardman 2 shared issues
Beverly's 2 shared issues
Camille Sojit Pejcha 2 shared issues
Club Chess 2 shared issues
Julia Cooke 2 shared issues

Source context

March 12, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Seventh Heaven — Language Arts (friend of the letter) is hosting their first reading. Language Arts is a substack by Sophia June and Layla Halabian about “books you actually want to read.” Readings tonight by Rayne Fisher-Quann, Camille Sojit Pejcha, Ryan Peterson, Rob Franklin, Sarah Sharp, and Matt Star. Photos, jelly snacks, karaoke all night after the event. | RSVP here

Inline links: Language Arts, friend of the letter, Sophia June, Layla Halabian, here

Summer Break

July 15, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 10pm at Little Egg —- Tables of Contents presents small bites inspired by Information Age by Cora Lewis. Readings from Lillian Fishman, Rob Franklin, Hannah Kingsley-Ma, and Erica Peplin.

Inline links: Little Egg, Tables of Contents, Information Age, Cora Lewis

Robert Bresson2 mentions across 2 issues

Robert Bresson is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between September 04, 2025 and October 06, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Robert Bresson's Four Nights a Dreamer opens at Film Forum"; "Bresson's Four Nights Of A Dreamer (1972) screens". It most often appears alongside Film Forum, Foreign Domestic, Funny Bar.

Article page: Robert Bresson
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: September 04, 2025
Last seen: October 06, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Drinking Dreams September 04, 2025
Big Huge World October 06, 2025

Film Forum 2 shared issues
Foreign Domestic 2 shared issues
Funny Bar 2 shared issues
Los Angeles 2 shared issues
Night Club 101 2 shared issues

Source context

September 04, 2025 · Original source

Robert Bresson’s Four Nights a Dreamer opens at Film Forum (12:30pm, 2:30pm, 4:30pm, 6:30pm, 8:30pm showtimes)

Inline links: Four Nights a Dreamer

Indulging in the Eschaton

October 06, 2025 · Original source

From 4:40pm at Film Forum — Bresson’s Four Nights Of A Dreamer (1972) screens. - “Third filming (following Visconti’s) of Dostoevsky’s White Nights, transposed to ’70s Paris.” Worth seeing before it closes.

Inline links: Film Forum, Four Nights Of A Dreamer

Bresson’s Four Nights of a Dreamer (1972) Image via FilmForum Tuesday, October 7 From 7pm - 10pm at Nublu — Tweaker Gospel presents her single Maspeth. PERFORMANCE. VIDEO. PARTY. Ft Ev Christensten and Broom. This will be a beautiful evening and I can’t wait. | Tickets here

Inline links: Nublu, Tweaker Gospel, Ev Christensten, Broom, here

Robert Longo2 mentions across 2 issues

Robert Longo is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between October 02, 2024 and October 28, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Works on view from ... Robert Longo"; "Johnny Mnemonic in Black & White by Robert Longo… live Q&A with Robert Longo"; "live Q&A with Robert Longo and curator Vera Dika". It most often appears alongside Adeline Swartzendruber, Annabel Boardman, Brooklyn.

Article page: Robert Longo
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: October 02, 2024
Last seen: October 28, 2024
Instagram handle: @robert_longo_studio

Outbound links

Issue trail

Ways to be sincere. October 02, 2024
Indulging in the Eschaton October 28, 2024

Adeline Swartzendruber 2 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 2 shared issues
Brooklyn 2 shared issues
Chloe Pingeon 2 shared issues
Collected Agenda 2 shared issues

Source context

Ways to be sincere.

October 02, 2024 · Original source

From 6 - 8pm — Sara's at Dunkunsthalle celebrates the opening of The Pictures Generation: From Hallwalls to the Kitchen, and Beyond. Curated by Vera Dika, this group exhibition continues the gallery's exploration of the early days of The Picture Generation, highlighting artists who lived and worked at a pivotal time in the area of the Financial District, exploring boundaries of high art and popular culture. Works on view from Gretchen Bender, Charlie Clough, Nancy Dwyer, Jack Goldstein, Robert Longo, Cindy Sherman, and Michael Zwack.

Inline links: Sara's, Dunkunsthalle, The Pictures Generation: From Hallwalls to the Kitchen, and Beyond, Vera Dika, Charlie Clough, Nancy Dwyer, Robert Longo, Cindy Sherman

October 28, 2024 · Original source

At 7pm at The Roxy — SARA’S and Dunkunsthalle present a special screening of Johnny Mnemonic in Black & White by Robert Longo, as part of their ongoing focus on the early days of the Pictures Generation. The screening will be followed by a live Q&A with Robert Longo and curator Vera Dika.

Inline links: The Roxy, SARA’S, Dunkunsthalle, Robert Longo, Vera Dika

Robin Estrin2 mentions across 2 issues

Robin Estrin is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between December 22, 2025 and January 08, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko"; "readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko". It most often appears alongside Abigail Ogilvy Gallery, Addie, Adrienne Greenblatt.

Article page: Robin Estrin
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: December 22, 2025
Last seen: January 08, 2026
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
Lost Week January 08, 2026

Abigail Ogilvy Gallery 2 shared issues
Addie 2 shared issues
Adrienne Greenblatt 2 shared issues
Adrienne Hunter 2 shared issues
Alamo Drafthouse 2 shared issues

Source context

December 22, 2025 · Original source

Los Angeles - From 7pm at Red Lion Tavern — Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko, Madeleine Kunkle, Joseph Moscow, and Sarah Wang.

Inline links: Red Lion Tavern, Evan Laffer, Ruby Zuckerman

The Strangest Hotel in New York

January 08, 2026 · Original source

Los Angeles - From 7pm at Red Lion Tavern — Evan Laffer and Ruby Zuckerman present readings by Molly Crabapple, Robin Estrin, Eugene Kotlyarenko, Madeleine Kunkle, Joseph Moscow, and Sarah Wang.

Inline links: Red Lion Tavern, Evan Laffer, Ruby Zuckerman

Ruby Hoffman2 mentions across 2 issues

Ruby Hoffman is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between April 21, 2025 and February 25, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Dani Narins, Ruby Hoffman, Gordon Glasgow"; "A night of readings with Benin Gardner, Ruby Hoffman, Ruby McColister". It most often appears alongside Night Club 101, 41 Orchard Street, 88 Allen Street Hotel.

Article page: Ruby Hoffman
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: April 21, 2025
Last seen: February 25, 2026
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

The Strangest Hotel in New York April 21, 2025
Life-in-a-lab February 25, 2026

Night Club 101 2 shared issues
41 Orchard Street 1 shared issues
88 Allen Street Hotel 1 shared issues
AceMo 1 shared issues
Ada Wickens 1 shared issues

Source context

April 21, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm - late at Night Club 101 — I will be reading in the Domino Reading Series, alongside Jess Wolfe, Dani Narins, Ruby Hoffman, Gordon Glasgow, Jade Wootton, and Matthew Gasda. Gallipony x Solar System DJ set after the reading.

Inline links: Night Club 101, Domino Reading Series

Life-in-a-lab

February 25, 2026 · Original source

Tomorrow: Thursday, February 26 from 7pm at Night Club 101 — A night of readings with Benin Gardner, Ruby Hoffman, Ruby McColister, Jess Wolfsohn, Emma Callahan, and Allyson Joanerwin.

Inline links: Night Club 101

Ruby Justice Thelo2 mentions across 2 issues

Ruby Justice Thelo is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between December 22, 2025 and January 27, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "ft artists, theorists, and DJs... Ruby Justice Thelo, Muein"; "ft artists, theorists, and DJs ... Ruby Justice Thelo"; "ft artists, theorists, and DJs...Ruby Justice Thelo, Muein". It most often appears alongside 3, Alexander Perrelli, Anders Lindseth.

Article page: Ruby Justice Thelo
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: December 22, 2025
Last seen: January 27, 2026
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
California-At-Home January 27, 2026

3 2 shared issues
Alexander Perrelli 2 shared issues
Anders Lindseth 2 shared issues
Ani Tatintsyan 2 shared issues
Ann Manov 2 shared issues

Source context

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm - 12am at 243 Bowery — Offline Gallery presents New Media Expo, ft artists, theorists, and DJs Clay Devlin, Ocrnl, Wasegun Oyetunde, Ruby Justice Thelo, Muein, and more.

Inline links: Offline Gallery

California-At-Home

January 27, 2026 · Original source

From 8pm - 12am at 243 Bowery — Offline Gallery presents New Media Expo, ft artists, theorists, and DJs Clay Devlin, Ocrnl, Wasegun Oyetunde, Ruby Justice Thelo, Muein, and more.

Inline links: Offline Gallery

Ruby Mccolister2 mentions across 2 issues

Ruby Mccolister is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between October 06, 2025 and February 25, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Maya Kotomori, Ruby Mccolister, Georgica Pettus"; "Ft. Alex Auder, Maya Kotomori, Ruby Mccolister, Georgica Pettus, and True"; "A night of readings with Benin Gardner, Ruby Hoffman, Ruby McColister". It most often appears alongside Celia, Film Forum, Night Club 101.

Article page: Ruby Mccolister
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: October 06, 2025
Last seen: February 25, 2026
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

Big Huge World October 06, 2025
Life-in-a-lab February 25, 2026

Celia 2 shared issues
Film Forum 2 shared issues
Night Club 101 2 shared issues
Upper West Side 2 shared issues
41 Orchard Street 1 shared issues

Source context

October 06, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB Bar — Riley Mac & Montana James Thomas present STRAIGHT GIRLS. Ft. Alex Auder, Maya Kotomori, Ruby Mccolister, Georgica Pettus, and True.

Inline links: KGB Bar, Riley Mac, Montana James Thomas

Life-in-a-lab

February 25, 2026 · Original source

Tomorrow: Thursday, February 26 from 7pm at Night Club 101 — A night of readings with Benin Gardner, Ruby Hoffman, Ruby McColister, Jess Wolfsohn, Emma Callahan, and Allyson Joanerwin.

Inline links: Night Club 101

Ryan D Petersen2 mentions across 2 issues

Ryan D Petersen is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between December 22, 2025 and January 14, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings from...Drew Zeiba, Ryan D Petersen"; "Readings on modern romance from...Drew Zeiba, Ryan D Petersen"; "Readings on modern romance from... Ryan D Petersen". It most often appears alongside 169 Bar, 56 Henry, @lucdarcy.

Article page: Ryan D Petersen
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: December 22, 2025
Last seen: January 14, 2026

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025
How To Break Paralysis January 14, 2026

169 Bar 2 shared issues
56 Henry 2 shared issues
@lucdarcy 2 shared issues
A.L. Bahta 2 shared issues
Ada Donnelly 2 shared issues

Source context

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm - late at Lubov Gallery — Ada Donnelly presents OOMF: Boysturn. Readings on modern romance from Peter Vack, Billy Pedlow, Qingyuan Deng, Brett Fletcher Laur, Callum Murphy, Tyler Wolpert, Alex Barney, Drew Zeiba, Ryan D Petersen.

Inline links: Lubov Gallery, Ada Donnelly

How To Break Paralysis

January 14, 2026 · Original source

From 8pm - late at Lubov Gallery — Ada Donnelly presents OOMF: Boysturn. Readings on modern romance from Peter Vack, Billy Pedlow, Qingyuan Deng, Brett Fletcher Laur, Callum Murphy, Tyler Wolpert, Alex Barney, Drew Zeiba, Ryan D Petersen.

Inline links: Lubov Gallery, Ada Donnelly

Ryan Peterson2 mentions across 2 issues

Ryan Peterson is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between March 12, 2025 and December 02, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by Rayne Fisher-Quann, Camille Sojit Pejcha, Ryan Peterson, Rob Franklin"; "HOT WORLD reading, ft … Ryan Peterson and Arjuun Srivtasa". It most often appears alongside Cassidy Grady, Julia Cooke, katja.

Article page: Ryan Peterson
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: March 12, 2025
Last seen: December 02, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

Rules for Clarity March 12, 2025
Florida, Massachusetts (03) December 02, 2025

Cassidy Grady 2 shared issues
Julia Cooke 2 shared issues
katja 2 shared issues
Los Angeles 2 shared issues
Matthew Gasda 2 shared issues

Source context

March 12, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Seventh Heaven — Language Arts (friend of the letter) is hosting their first reading. Language Arts is a substack by Sophia June and Layla Halabian about “books you actually want to read.” Readings tonight by Rayne Fisher-Quann, Camille Sojit Pejcha, Ryan Peterson, Rob Franklin, Sarah Sharp, and Matt Star. Photos, jelly snacks, karaoke all night after the event. | RSVP here

Inline links: Language Arts, friend of the letter, Sophia June, Layla Halabian, here

December 02, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at 94 St Marks Place — HOT WORLD reading, ft Peter BD, Em Brill, Rebecca Warlick Cooke, Sam Cooke, David Fishkind, Genevieve Goffman, Jack Ludkey, Alma Pannier, Ryan Peterson and Arjuun Srivtasa.

Ryanaustin Dennis2 mentions across 2 issues

Ryanaustin Dennis is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between July 29, 2025 and November 12, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "a punk queer featuring Lina Simpson, Whitney Mallett, Erin Markey, and Ryanaustin Dennis"; "Ft performances by ... Ryanaustin Dennis". It most often appears alongside Night Club 101, The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, 10 Today.

Article page: Ryanaustin Dennis
Mention count: 2
Issue count: 2
First seen: July 29, 2025
Last seen: November 12, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

Walking Poems July 29, 2025
Things that Happened Once I Gave Up Vice November 12, 2025

Night Club 101 2 shared issues
The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research 2 shared issues
10 Today 1 shared issues
7 1 shared issues
@quietluke 1 shared issues

Source context

Walking Poems

July 29, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm at Parkside Lounge — Max Steele hosts Girl+ - a punk queer featuring Lina Simpson, Whitney Mallett, Erin Markey, and Ryanaustin Dennis. Music by DJ PLD.

Inline links: Parkside Lounge, Girl+

One Million Billion Interludes

November 12, 2025 · Original source

From 9pm at Performa Hub — The Whitney Review *officially* celebrates the launch of Issue 006. Ft performances by Abdu Mongo Ali, Canal Street Research Association, and Ryanaustin Dennis

Inline links: Performa Hub, The Whitney Review

Rabbit White1 mentions across 1 issues

Rabbit White is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 19, 2024 and May 19, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "el Rabbit White at Dirty Mag HQ". It most often appears alongside Anna Dorn, August Lamm, Auntie Anne's.

Article page: Rabbit White
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 19, 2024
Last seen: May 19, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #1 May 19, 2024

Anna Dorn 1 shared issues
August Lamm 1 shared issues
Auntie Anne's 1 shared issues
Bensonhurst 1 shared issues
Bill Armstrong 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #1

May 19, 2024 · Original source

Saturday, May 25 - WONDER presenting party and readings by Juliana Huxtable, Ed Steck, and Rachel Rabbit White at Dirty Mag HQ

Inline links: WONDER, Dirty Mag HQ

Rabiah Rowther1 mentions across 1 issues

Rabiah Rowther is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 27, 2025 and November 27, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "A play written by Roman D'Ambrosio and directed by Rabiah Rowther". It most often appears alongside A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving, Alex Arthur, Alice Bailey.

Article page: Rabiah Rowther
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 27, 2025
Last seen: November 27, 2025
Instagram handle: @rabiahrowther

Outbound links

Issue trail

One Million Billion Interludes November 27, 2025

A Very Pussycat Thanksgiving 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues
Andrei Tarkovsky 1 shared issues
Apple Store 1 shared issues

Source context

November 27, 2025 · Original source

From 7:00 - 9:00pm at The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Hillsdale opened yesterday, and there’s another performance tonight! A play written by Roman D’Ambrosio and directed by Rabiah Rowther. “During homecoming weekend at the infamous conservative Hillsdale College, former fraternity brothers, and the women they love, reunite. As the weekend unfolds and the drinking increases, the alumni question their relationship with each other and the promises they were told. | This is a very unique play that I’m excited about. Definitely worth seeing. tickets here (additional performances Nov 28

Inline links: The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, Hillsdale, Roman D’Ambrosio, Rabiah Rowther, here

Rachel Kushner1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Kushner is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between June 09, 2025 and June 09, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readers include Rachel Kushner, Eileen Kelly, Stella Barey". It most often appears alongside A Court of Thorns and Roses, Allie Rowbottom, Amnesiascope.

Article page: Rachel Kushner
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: June 09, 2025
Last seen: June 09, 2025

Issue trail

A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again June 09, 2025

A Court of Thorns and Roses 1 shared issues
Allie Rowbottom 1 shared issues
Amnesiascope 1 shared issues
Aperol 1 shared issues
Apt 5 1 shared issues

Source context

June 09, 2025 · Original source

LOS ANGELES - From 6:30pm at Night Gallery — Celebrate the launch of On The Rag Vol 1. Readers include Rachel Kushner, Eileen Kelly, Stella Barey, Victoria Davidoff, Zara Schuster, and more. RSVP - http://www.casualencountersz.com/rsvp.html

Inline links: Night Gallery, On The Rag, http://www.casualencountersz.com/rsvp.html

Rachel Opert1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Opert is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between February 17, 2025 and February 17, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "featuring Kyle Whiting, Rachel Opert, and Dante Scaglione". It most often appears alongside A/Political, Actors, Alana Markel.

Article page: Rachel Opert
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: February 17, 2025
Last seen: February 17, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

My lame blog February 17, 2025

Political 1 shared issues
Actors 1 shared issues
Alana Markel 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Amtrak 1 shared issues

Source context

My lame blog

February 17, 2025 · Original source

From 10pm - late — There’s a new party at Night Club 101! Electrosexual is free to attend, featuring Kyle Whiting, Rachel Opert, and Dante Scaglione.

Inline links: Night Club 101, Electrosexual

Rachel Ormont1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Ormont is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 07, 2025 and March 07, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "A Rachel Ormont Afters! The prior screening at The Roxy". It most often appears alongside 127 Mulberry Street, 154 Scott BK, A Rachel Ormont Afters.

Article page: Rachel Ormont
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 07, 2025
Last seen: March 07, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025

127 Mulberry Street 1 shared issues
154 Scott BK 1 shared issues
A Rachel Ormont Afters 1 shared issues
Alex Both 1 shared issues
Andrew Norman Wilson 1 shared issues

Source context

Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm - late at Casa Bella — Caroline Calloway, Betsey Brown, and Peter Vack present - A Rachel Ormont Afters! The prior screening at The Roxy is unfortunately sold out, but I’ll be at the afters and you should be too! Hosted by soooooo many people! Mike Crumplar, Cassidy Grady, Kareem Rahma, Nick Dove, Sierra Armor, Elena Velez, Perfectly Imperfect, Matt Weinberger, Finlay Mangan, Riska Seval, Humblesuperstar, Poorspigga, Meg Superstar Princes, Andrew Norman Wilson, Charley Shealy, Rylee Stumpf.

Rachel Sennot1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Sennot is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between June 06, 2024 and June 06, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "I Used To Be Funny starring Rachel Sennot". It most often appears alongside 06 Art, ALLSHIPS, Ally Pankiw.

Article page: Rachel Sennot
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: June 06, 2024
Last seen: June 06, 2024

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #3 June 06, 2024

06 Art 1 shared issues
ALLSHIPS 1 shared issues
Ally Pankiw 1 shared issues
Anastasia Berg 1 shared issues
Angela Torres 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #3

June 06, 2024 · Original source

I Used To Be Funny starring Rachel Sennot screens tonight at 6:45pm at Quad Cinema. Q&A with director Ally Pankiw to follow. There will be another screening and Q&A tomorrow evening, in case you couldn’t make it on The Busiest Day Of The Year.

Inline links: I Used To Be Funny

Rachel Sennott1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Sennott is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 19, 2024 and November 19, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "One of you invited me to the Rachel Sennott lookalike contest". It most often appears alongside Adeline, Adriana Furlong, Aimee Armstrong.

Article page: Rachel Sennott
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 19, 2024
Last seen: November 19, 2024

Outbound links

Issue trail

Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence November 19, 2024

Adeline 1 shared issues
Adriana Furlong 1 shared issues
Aimee Armstrong 1 shared issues
Alexander Sammartino 1 shared issues
Alissa Bennett 1 shared issues

Source context

November 19, 2024 · Original source

From 3pm — One of you invited me to the Rachel Sennott lookalike contest. We have to put a stop to this. That being said, if you look like Rachel Sennott… The Winning Rachel Will Receive $50 And A Trophy

Inline links: The Winning Rachel Will Receive $50 And A Trophy

Rachel Valinsky1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Valinsky is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between July 08, 2024 and July 08, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, and Rachel Valinsky". It most often appears alongside 442 Broadway, 7-Eleven, A Doll House.

Article page: Rachel Valinsky
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: July 08, 2024
Last seen: July 08, 2024
Instagram handle: @langue_pendue

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #5 July 08, 2024

442 Broadway 1 shared issues
7-Eleven 1 shared issues
A Doll House 1 shared issues
Adam Lehrer 1 shared issues
Amant 1 shared issues

Source context

July 08, 2024 · Original source

From 6:30 - 8:30pm, Left Bank Books celebrates the release of Love Poems by Rene Ricard (Editions Lutanie, 2024). Readings by Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, and Rachel Valinsky.

Inline links: Left Bank Books, Love Poems, Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, Rachel Valinsky

Rachel Weiswasser1 mentions across 1 issues

Rachel Weiswasser is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 09, 2025 and September 09, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Hosted by... Elizabeth Clayton, Rachel Weiswasser, and Kathryn Kearny". It most often appears alongside Aakash Kakkar, Aita, Allen-Golder Carpenter.

Article page: Rachel Weiswasser
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 09, 2025
Last seen: September 09, 2025

Issue trail

City Built on Crystals September 09, 2025

Aakash Kakkar 1 shared issues
Aita 1 shared issues
Allen-Golder Carpenter 1 shared issues
AltCitizen 1 shared issues
AltCitizen 15 Year Anniversary Show 1 shared issues

Source context

City Built on Crystals

September 09, 2025 · Original source

From 9pm - 2am at Baby's All Right — Label presents The Afters. Sets by Harmony Tividad and more. Hosted by Whitney Mallet, Carolina de Armas, Misc-En-Scene, Mia Manning, Ni Ouyang, Elizabeth Clayton, Rachel Weiswasser, and Kathryn Kearny. | Tickets: $15

Inline links: Baby's All Right, Label, The Afters

Raegan Bird1 mentions across 1 issues

Raegan Bird is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 09, 2024 and December 09, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "featuring Fall '24 Residents ... and Raegan Bird". It most often appears alongside 171 Canal, 177 Mulberry, 264 Canal.

Article page: Raegan Bird
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: December 09, 2024
Instagram handle: @raegan_bird

Outbound links

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024

171 Canal 1 shared issues
177 Mulberry 1 shared issues
264 Canal 1 shared issues
9 Monroe St 1 shared issues
Alec Mapes-Frances 1 shared issues

Source context

December 09, 2024 · Original source

From 8pm at TJ Byrnes — Giancarlo DiTrapano Foundation presents their annual NYC reading, featuring Fall ’24 Residents Thomas Thatcher, Madeline Cash, Jon Lindsey, Izzy Casey, and Raegan Bird.

Inline links: Giancarlo DiTrapano Foundation, Thomas Thatcher, Madeline Cash, Jon Lindsey, Izzy Casey, Raegan Bird

Rafael Martinez1 mentions across 1 issues

Rafael Martinez is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 13, 2025 and October 13, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "A reading in dialogue with Aheem by Rafael Martinez". It most often appears alongside 365 Apartment, Adriant Khadafhi Bereal, Afters.

Article page: Rafael Martinez
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 13, 2025
Last seen: October 13, 2025
Instagram handle: @itsrafi

Outbound links

Issue trail

Void of Course October 13, 2025

365 Apartment 1 shared issues
Adriant Khadafhi Bereal 1 shared issues
Afters 1 shared issues
Aheem 1 shared issues
Alain de Botton 1 shared issues

Source context

Void of Course

October 13, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Dear Friends Books — A reading in dialogue with Aheem by Rafael Martinez - presenting a selection of 34 images made over the course of a year. Readings by Brian Alarcon, Adriant Khadafhi Bereal, Sam Falb, Claire Gustavson, Merilyn, Lindsay Perryman, and Julio Tavarez.

Inline links: Dear Friends Books, Aheem, Rafael Martinez

Rainy Lerhman1 mentions across 1 issues

Rainy Lerhman is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between February 03, 2025 and February 03, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "featuring the works of Rainy Lerhman, Megan Suttles, and Caroline Falby". It most often appears alongside Abscissa #2, Adderall, Adriana Furlong.

Article page: Rainy Lerhman
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: February 03, 2025
Last seen: February 03, 2025

Issue trail

Dream Logic February 03, 2025

Abscissa #2 1 shared issues
Adderall 1 shared issues
Adriana Furlong 1 shared issues
Advil 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues

Source context

Dream Logic

February 03, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 10pm at 183 Lorraine St — Sweet Lorraine Gallery presents “Corybantes” featuring the works of Rainy Lerhman, Megan Suttles, and Caroline Falby.

Inline links: Sweet Lorraine Gallery

Raph1 mentions across 1 issues

Raph is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 21, 2025 and May 21, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Hosted by Marika Thunder + Raph". It most often appears alongside 99 Scott, Al Warren, Amelia Ritthaler.

Article page: Raph
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 21, 2025
Last seen: May 21, 2025
Instagram handle: @metrograph

Outbound links

Issue trail

Total Nightmare Policy May 21, 2025

99 Scott 1 shared issues
Al Warren 1 shared issues
Amelia Ritthaler 1 shared issues
Anne Lesley Selcer 1 shared issues
Ayede 1 shared issues

Source context

May 21, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm at Shinsen — Rina throws a launch party for the release of Vulnerable - the single and music video. Hosted by Leg5 and Page Garcia. Multiple dj sets and photographers. - “go out every night and act like a ****”

Inline links: Shinsen, Rina

From 11pm at Laissez Faire — Reel in Memorial Day Weekend with Donna Francesca + Friends. Ft, Donna Francesca, Elias Becker, Luca Clavarino, and Jack Nolan. Hosted by Marika Thunder + Raph. This will be a really fun one!

Inline links: Donna Francesca + Friends

Rax King1 mentions across 1 issues

Rax King is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 16, 2024 and December 16, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Ft. ... Rax King, Donny Morrison, and Benin Gardner". It most often appears alongside Allison Brainard, Altro Paradiso, Ama Birch.

Article page: Rax King
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 16, 2024
Last seen: December 16, 2024
Instagram handle: @raxkingisdead

Outbound links

Issue trail

Moral Framework December 16, 2024

Allison Brainard 1 shared issues
Altro Paradiso 1 shared issues
Ama Birch 1 shared issues
American Cuck 1 shared issues
Annabel 1 shared issues

Source context

December 16, 2024 · Original source

From 8pm — Car Crash Collective and Charm School Mag will be at Mood Ring. A rare Los Angeles x New York crossover from two of the best magazines / reading series at the forefront of the Writing Renaissance. Ft. Sarah Velk, Bernard Cohen, Vivi Hayes, Rax King, Donny Morrison, and Benin Gardner.

Inline links: Car Crash Collective, Charm School Mag, Mood Ring, Sarah Velk, Bernard Cohen, Vivi Hayes, Rax King, Donny Morrison

Ray Wise1 mentions across 1 issues

Ray Wise is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 09, 2024 and December 09, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Clay M.M., Ray Wise". It most often appears alongside 171 Canal, 177 Mulberry, 264 Canal.

Article page: Ray Wise
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: December 09, 2024

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024

171 Canal 1 shared issues
177 Mulberry 1 shared issues
264 Canal 1 shared issues
9 Monroe St 1 shared issues
Alec Mapes-Frances 1 shared issues

Source context

December 09, 2024 · Original source

From 7pm at Drama Gallery — India Rose Timpani hosts Tribeca All The Way - a reading in conjunction with the closing of Jesse Sullivan’s ‘Coffee Shop’. Readings by Nick Jorgensen, Elijah Lajmer, Riska Seval, Clay M.M., Ray Wise, and Alec Mapes-Frances.

Inline links: Drama Gallery, India Rose Timpani, Nick Jorgensen, Elijah Lajmer, Riska Seval

Raymond Foye1 mentions across 1 issues

Raymond Foye is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between July 08, 2024 and July 08, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings by Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, and Rachel Valinsky". It most often appears alongside 442 Broadway, 7-Eleven, A Doll House.

Article page: Raymond Foye
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: July 08, 2024
Last seen: July 08, 2024
Instagram handle: @raymondfoye

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #5 July 08, 2024

442 Broadway 1 shared issues
7-Eleven 1 shared issues
A Doll House 1 shared issues
Adam Lehrer 1 shared issues
Amant 1 shared issues

Source context

July 08, 2024 · Original source

From 6:30 - 8:30pm, Left Bank Books celebrates the release of Love Poems by Rene Ricard (Editions Lutanie, 2024). Readings by Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, and Rachel Valinsky.

Inline links: Left Bank Books, Love Poems, Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, Rachel Valinsky

Raymond Pettibon1 mentions across 1 issues

Raymond Pettibon is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 13, 2024 and November 13, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "American artist Raymond Pettibon sums this up nicely". It most often appears alongside A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell, Alex Katz, Alex Osman.

Article page: Raymond Pettibon
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 13, 2024
Last seen: November 13, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Collected Agenda with Lydia Sviatoslavsky November 13, 2024

A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues
Alex Osman 1 shared issues
Allen Street 1 shared issues
America: The Farewell Tour 1 shared issues

Source context

November 13, 2024 · Original source

After moving to NYC, I noticed something that bothered me. In my view, the people who were doing the most innovative, meaningful, and truly transgressive work were not among the handful of names that seemed to garner the most attention. Let’s just say…the cream was not rising to the top. (Sorry, but you’re not gonna catch me reading a book titled My First Book unless it was written by someone in the single-digit age range.) The artists and writers I admired most were relegated to the underground and, in some cases, subject to censorship or hasty dismissal by traditional media outlets. They were not ‘press-ready,’ armed with MFAs and weaponized decorum. They were not adept at glad-handing or crafting an email (and why should they be??). American artist Raymond Pettibon sums this up nicely:

Inline links: sums this up nicely

Rayne Fisher-Quann1 mentions across 1 issues

Rayne Fisher-Quann is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 12, 2025 and March 12, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings tonight by Rayne Fisher-Quann, Camille Sojit Pejcha, Ryan Peterson". It most often appears alongside 154 Scott BK, Abi Yaga, Ace Hotel Brooklyn.

Article page: Rayne Fisher-Quann
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 12, 2025
Last seen: March 12, 2025

Issue trail

Rules for Clarity March 12, 2025

154 Scott BK 1 shared issues
Abi Yaga 1 shared issues
Ace Hotel Brooklyn 1 shared issues
Albina Aleksandrova 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues

Source context

March 12, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Seventh Heaven — Language Arts (friend of the letter) is hosting their first reading. Language Arts is a substack by Sophia June and Layla Halabian about “books you actually want to read.” Readings tonight by Rayne Fisher-Quann, Camille Sojit Pejcha, Ryan Peterson, Rob Franklin, Sarah Sharp, and Matt Star. Photos, jelly snacks, karaoke all night after the event. | RSVP here

Inline links: Language Arts, friend of the letter, Sophia June, Layla Halabian, here

Rayne Risher Quann1 mentions across 1 issues

Rayne Risher Quann is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Ft readings by Eliza Barry Callahan, Cat Cohen, Rayne Risher Quann, and Rosa Shipley". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Rayne Risher Quann
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm at Rodeo — Emmeline Clein celebrates the paperback release of Dead Weight. Ft readings by Eliza Barry Callahan, Cat Cohen, Rayne Risher Quann, and Rosa Shipley.

Inline links: Rodeo, Emmeline Clein, Dead Weight

Rayne Risher-Quann1 mentions across 1 issues

Rayne Risher-Quann is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 25, 2025 and March 25, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "in conversation with Rayne Risher-Quann". It most often appears alongside Albany, Alex Arthur, Anamaria Silic.

Article page: Rayne Risher-Quann
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 25, 2025
Last seen: March 25, 2025

Issue trail

How to Redeem Yourself March 25, 2025

Albany 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Anamaria Silic 1 shared issues
Anthology Film Archives 1 shared issues
ArtX 1 shared issues

Source context

How to Redeem Yourself

March 25, 2025 · Original source

From 6:30pm at McNally Jackson Seaport — Jamie Hood presents her new memoir Trauma Plot, in conversation with Rayne Risher-Quann.

Inline links: presents her new memoir

Reba Maybury1 mentions across 1 issues

Reba Maybury is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 13, 2024 and November 13, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Faster Than An Erection by Reba Maybury". It most often appears alongside A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell, Alex Katz, Alex Osman.

Article page: Reba Maybury
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 13, 2024
Last seen: November 13, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Collected Agenda with Lydia Sviatoslavsky November 13, 2024

A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues
Alex Osman 1 shared issues
Allen Street 1 shared issues
America: The Farewell Tour 1 shared issues

Source context

November 13, 2024 · Original source

Faster Than An Erection by Reba Maybury

Rebecca Black1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebecca Black is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 16, 2024 and December 16, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Rebecca Black walks by". It most often appears alongside Allison Brainard, Altro Paradiso, Ama Birch.

Article page: Rebecca Black
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 16, 2024
Last seen: December 16, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Moral Framework December 16, 2024

Allison Brainard 1 shared issues
Altro Paradiso 1 shared issues
Ama Birch 1 shared issues
American Cuck 1 shared issues
Annabel 1 shared issues

Source context

Inline links: Richard Kern, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gXs4!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5a0a08cc-f0bf-4529-82bd-40b8e59712aa_4284x5363.jpeg

December 16, 2024 · Original source

Monday, December 9 A busy day. One quickly finds this to be the solution to all malignant indulgences. Before a comedy show at Jean’s, Natasha and I go to Altro Paradiso for dinner. It’s an early dinner in the rain. Madelyn works here, and I’ve been meaning to visit for a while. I’ve been meaning to apply for a job here, too, but the list of things I’ve been meaning to do on that front continues to pile up. We order many things on the menu. The house specialties that we did not order somehow seem to keep materializing on our table as well. It’s like magic. It’s a special night. Rumor has it: Marina Abromovic was dining here this afternoon. Rumor has it, she’s dined here twenty times. Altro Paradiso is a well lit restaurant - I read something I liked about well lit restaurants this week and now I can’t recall where. The premise was: enough of this haze. Some people want to see their food. Some people want to see and be seen. Tonight, I drink Ciro Picariello. It’s like white wine but it sparkles. I drink a cocktail with peach purée and peach liquor. I drink a dirty martini. I eat olives, bread and ricotta, finocchio, another salad with fig and orange, mushroom pasta shaped like pillows, lemon pasta shaped like thick noodles, branzino, gelato. It’s a winter feast. I haven’t had a feast like this in my recent recollection. After, the rain has stopped but the evening is still misty. We hail a cab. We’re too late for Jean’s. Natasha is good at spotting famous people. Rebecca Black walks by. EmRata’s ex husband. Some other people, too. We go the The Nines, which is very festive, but where everyone is very rude. We go back to Jean’s. The show is over, they let us in, but there's no point in lingering now. I loved tonight, I say when I get home. A sign of mental stability is drinking alcohol and not hating every second of it. I know for some people, it's the opposite, but this is how it works for me. Tuesday, December 10 The line to get into the Richard Kern book launch is too long and it's raining. I see Annabel and Ellie outside. I see that Berlin blogger who only wears all black or all white and her TikTok DJ boyfriend. "I need to become someone who's 'list me or miss me'", a girl in line sighs. We're still waiting in the rain. She said this in a way like she was kidding, but I repeat the sentiment with no humility to David later. "We should become 'list me or miss me’,” I say. David has a tendency to bludgeon his way through lines. "We should become 'list me or i'm going to fucking kill you’,” David says. After I abandon the Richard Kern line, I go to Lucien. I run into a few people there. The expected and the unexpected. There are things I'm very excited about these days. Excitement is risky - it's unwise to tempt fate and it's destructive to celebrate accomplishments you are yet to achieve, but I am excited. Full of ideas again. Everyone at Lucien is an actor. That must be so cool, I say. I'm so full of sincerity, I think. This time of year can be so full in general that it begins to feel uneasy. This type of luxury isn't mine to claim and it's certainly not sustainable. The hedonism feels truly hedonistic today, though. It's energetic, not coated with something darker. I'm having so much fun. David wants to go to Frog Club for banana chiffon pie. "Why am I so broken up about Frog Club closing?” asks David. "You've never been to Frog Club," I say. "Yeah, that's probably why," says David. Risotto David made for me + prints from Paris Wednesday, December 11 I went to the Russian Baths on Wall Street on my first day in New York. I still go often now. It’s not really of my own volition. It’s a family tradition. It’s still pouring today. It’s been pouring all week. I used to think the Russian Baths were all liminal space and Russian mob, but now it feels less secret. The Doritos are from Israel. Russian Jews and Russian Gentiles, I hear someone explaining in line behind me. The building is huge. The pool area does feel kind of like The Backrooms. I have night terrors every night. In my dreams, I am never stuck in places like this. My aunt likes the cold plunge. She can stay in it for seven minutes, far beyond the recommended time of three. The Wim Hof method recommends rapid bursts of breath coupled with exposure to the extreme cold. I’m in the Infrared Sauna. On Christmas, I will swim outside in Walden Pond. Wim Hof (the man) lost a finger, an ear, something detached in the retina of his eye… I can’t recall the specific injury but something bad happened swimming across an icy lake. He took it too far. When I get back to New York, I will swim off Orchard Beach. There’s a group that goes every morning. My aunt tells me you have to go to Orchard Beach in the winter. It’s like Siberia in the Winter. It’s finally getting cold enough to swim. On my Wednesday at the Russian Baths, I lose my keys. I lose the big rubber slippers that they give you on arrival. I can’t last very long in the extreme heat or the extreme cold. An actor in the infrared sauna is talking about how he can only memorize lines in the cold plunge. I’m thinking about how I’m in an infinite feedback loop where everyone I meet keeps being actors. We go to dinner at the Russian Restaurant at the spa. It’s called Matryoshka like the dolls. I only learn this later David and I split potato pancakes, salad olivier which is the one with mayonnaise and egg and chicken (delicious), beef stroganoff, steamed chicken pelmeni. More stroganoff and borscht and red wine is also passed around the table. I can’t drink red wine, so I drink ginger juice and ginger vodka instead. Afterwards, too full to continue. There are other plans tonight - a film, a party, I promised I would go and I never cancel plans but sometimes I do just neglect to show up. A very bad habit. Inertia ultimately breeds pure evil! Time doesn’t pass at Spa 88. Still pouring but dark now, when we emerge from the underground. Thursday, December 12 My abridged review of Dimes Square (revival) today. I didn’t see it the first time around - I wasn’t here. I was in Boston. I was in a sorority. I arrived in this godforsaken ecosystem after it was already dead. I’m kind of being facetious. I think people try to qualify eras too concretely. Concretely: Dimes Square (the play) is indeed a period piece. In the vein of all Matthew Gasda’s plays, it is emotionally rich, lucid, kind of yearning, which catches me off guard but I think adds depth. The thing I like most about Dimes Square is this: it’s not self serious but also it is not sneering. The best satire is actually quite sincere. This is why most satire is generally and particularly in contemporary culture, bad. Dimes Square (the play) is excellent. I will be publishing a stand alone review of the play here shortly. I already wrote the review but then I realized I was far too stuck on historical accuracy and far too personally tortured. In the meantime (from my notes) -- “The main fault of the characters in the play is that they are cruel, but the main critique of this scene in real life is that it is (was?) (is?) full of people who are pathetic”

Rebecca Harris1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebecca Harris is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 21, 2025 and May 21, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "directed by Rebecca Harris". It most often appears alongside 99 Scott, Al Warren, Amelia Ritthaler.

Article page: Rebecca Harris
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 21, 2025
Last seen: May 21, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Total Nightmare Policy May 21, 2025

99 Scott 1 shared issues
Al Warren 1 shared issues
Amelia Ritthaler 1 shared issues
Anne Lesley Selcer 1 shared issues
Ayede 1 shared issues

Source context

May 21, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 8:30pm at The Flea Theater (20 Thomas St) — I’ll be seeing Revolution: The Play. Sophia Englesberg is associate producer, and everything she touches is wonderful. Written and produced by Brett Neveu, directed by Rebecca Harris. The theater is next to The Odeon, so you can get my favorite martini before or after the show. - “Who celebrates their 26th birthday in the alley outside of her hairdressing place o’ work? Revolution interrogates and celebrates the very nature of creating community and building friendships in our ever-evolving, ever disconnecting world.”

Inline links: Revolution: The Play, Sophia Englesberg, The Odeon

Rebecca Kopelman1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebecca Kopelman is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 10, 2024 and September 10, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "George Brainard, Rebecca Kopelman". It most often appears alongside Anika Levy, Annabel Boardman, Antiart.

Article page: Rebecca Kopelman
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 10, 2024
Last seen: September 10, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Statues Of Critics. September 10, 2024

Anika Levy 1 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 1 shared issues
Antiart 1 shared issues
Artnet 1 shared issues
August Lamm 1 shared issues

Source context

Statues Of Critics.

September 10, 2024 · Original source

Also Thursday, September 12 from 7pm to 11pm —SillyGal Mag celebrates their final issue at Pretty Garden Club. Readings from Lucia Auerbach, George Brainard, Rebecca Kopelman, Renee Morales, and Emma Schwartz

Inline links: SillyGal Mag, Pretty Garden Club, Lucia Auerbach, George Brainard, Rebecca Kopelman, Emma Schwartz

Rebecca Storm1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebecca Storm is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 04, 2025 and September 04, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "group show featuring … Rebecca Storm". It most often appears alongside 131 Chrystie St, 54 Barrow St, Aeronauts Aimed for Altitude, Even….

Article page: Rebecca Storm
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 04, 2025
Last seen: September 04, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Drinking Dreams September 04, 2025

131 Chrystie St 1 shared issues
54 Barrow St 1 shared issues
Aeronauts Aimed for Altitude, Even… 1 shared issues
Agnes Enhktamir 1 shared issues
Alexa Ferrer 1 shared issues

Source context

September 04, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm - 8pm at IRL Gallery — GIFT opens - a group show featuring Alexandra Rubinstein, Danielle Kosann, Elizabeth Bergeland, Jordan Sears, Marisa Regante, Michael McGregor, Rebecca Storm, Shawn Huckins, and Tariq Oliver.

Inline links: IRL Gallery, GIFT

Rebecca Warlick Cooke1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebecca Warlick Cooke is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 02, 2025 and December 02, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "HOT WORLD reading, ft … Rebecca Warlick Cooke, Sam Cooke". It most often appears alongside 98th Academy Awards, Airliner, Albany.

Article page: Rebecca Warlick Cooke
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 02, 2025
Last seen: December 02, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Florida, Massachusetts (03) December 02, 2025

98th Academy Awards 1 shared issues
Airliner 1 shared issues
Albany 1 shared issues
Alma Pannier 1 shared issues
Amtrak 1 shared issues

Source context

December 02, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at 94 St Marks Place — HOT WORLD reading, ft Peter BD, Em Brill, Rebecca Warlick Cooke, Sam Cooke, David Fishkind, Genevieve Goffman, Jack Ludkey, Alma Pannier, Ryan Peterson and Arjuun Srivtasa.

Rebekah Campbell1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebekah Campbell is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 28, 2024 and May 28, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "readers ... Rebekah Campbell, and Whitney Mallett". It most often appears alongside Addison Pest Control Shop, Amtrak, Anne-Laure Lemaitre.

Article page: Rebekah Campbell
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 28, 2024
Last seen: May 28, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #2 May 28, 2024

Addison Pest Control Shop 1 shared issues
Amtrak 1 shared issues
Anne-Laure Lemaitre 1 shared issues
Arden Wohl 1 shared issues
Audrey Wollen 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #2

May 28, 2024 · Original source

Also Thursday, May 30 at 6:30pm - Reading in the backyard of Addison Pest Control Shop on the occasion of Camera Roll Orgy with readers Audrey Wollen, Coco Gordon Moore, Cristine Brache, Kay Kasparhauser, Nicola Della Costa, Rebekah Campbell, and Whitney Mallett

Inline links: Addison Pest Control Shop, Camera Roll Orgy

Rebounder1 mentions across 1 issues

Rebounder is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 09, 2024 and December 09, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Julia Shiplett, Jake Cornell, and Rebounder". It most often appears alongside 171 Canal, 177 Mulberry, 264 Canal.

Article page: Rebounder
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: December 09, 2024
Instagram handle: @reboundernyc

Outbound links

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024

171 Canal 1 shared issues
177 Mulberry 1 shared issues
264 Canal 1 shared issues
9 Monroe St 1 shared issues
Alec Mapes-Frances 1 shared issues

Source context

December 09, 2024 · Original source

From 7:30pm — The Thing Is returns to Jean’s. This month's show (It’s A Wonderful Life) will star Delaney Rowe, Julia Shiplett, Jake Cornell, and Rebounder.

Inline links: The Thing Is, Jean’s, It’s A Wonderful Life, Delaney Rowe, Julia Shiplett, Jake Cornell, Rebounder

Redacted Cut1 mentions across 1 issues

Redacted Cut is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 09, 2025 and December 09, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "An Evening of Internet Cinema with Dana Dawud, Redacted Cut, Poorspigga". It most often appears alongside A Winter Ball, Alice Bailey, An Evening of Internet Cinema.

Article page: Redacted Cut
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 09, 2025
Last seen: December 09, 2025

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

Hotel Lobby Gossip December 09, 2025

A Winter Ball 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues
An Evening of Internet Cinema 1 shared issues
Annabel Gould 1 shared issues
Araya 1 shared issues

Source context

Hotel Lobby Gossip

December 09, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at EARTH — Open Secret presents An Evening of Internet Cinema with Dana Dawud, Redacted Cut, Poorspigga, Zarina Nares, Carmen Llin, Onty, and Araya.

Inline links: EARTH, Open Secret, An Evening of Internet Cinema

Renata Limón1 mentions across 1 issues

Renata Limón is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2024 and November 05, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "along with Annabel Boardman, Renata Limón, Audrey Snow Matzke". It most often appears alongside 66 Greene St, Adeline Swartzendruber, Agnes Enhtamir.

Article page: Renata Limón
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2024
Last seen: November 05, 2024
Instagram handle: @renatazipporah

Outbound links

Issue trail

Playing With Glass November 05, 2024

66 Greene St 1 shared issues
Adeline Swartzendruber 1 shared issues
Agnes Enhtamir 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2024 · Original source

I’m reading at Confessions at KGB for Cuffing Season, along with Annabel Boardman, Renata Limón, Audrey Snow Matzke, Agnes Enhtamir, Xavi Campbell, Panos Ale, and Cassidy Grady

Inline links: Confessions, KGB, Annabel Boardman, Renata Limón, Audrey Snow Matzke, Agnes Enhtamir, Xavi Campbell, Panos Ale, Cassidy Grady

Rene Imparto1 mentions across 1 issues

Rene Imparto is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between August 14, 2024 and August 14, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "ft guest of honor Rene Imparto". It most often appears alongside Adam Friedland, Adeline, Annabel Boardman.

Article page: Rene Imparto
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: August 14, 2024
Last seen: August 14, 2024
Instagram handle: @reneimperato

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #7 August 14, 2024

Adam Friedland 1 shared issues
Adeline 1 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 1 shared issues
August Lamm 1 shared issues
Baby's All Right 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #7

August 14, 2024 · Original source

From 10pm - 4am — Dirty Mag Issue 8 Release Party at Le Bain. Lots of hosts, lots of sounds, ft guest of honor Rene Imparto. The pool will be open.

Inline links: Dirty Mag, Le Bain, Rene Imparto

Rene Ricard1 mentions across 1 issues

Rene Ricard is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between July 08, 2024 and July 08, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Love Poems by Rene Ricard (Editions Lutanie, 2024)". It most often appears alongside 442 Broadway, 7-Eleven, A Doll House.

Article page: Rene Ricard
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: July 08, 2024
Last seen: July 08, 2024

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #5 July 08, 2024

442 Broadway 1 shared issues
7-Eleven 1 shared issues
A Doll House 1 shared issues
Adam Lehrer 1 shared issues
Amant 1 shared issues

Source context

July 08, 2024 · Original source

From 6:30 - 8:30pm, Left Bank Books celebrates the release of Love Poems by Rene Ricard (Editions Lutanie, 2024). Readings by Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, and Rachel Valinsky.

Inline links: Left Bank Books, Love Poems, Raymond Foye, Annabella Sciorra, Rachel Valinsky

Renee Morales1 mentions across 1 issues

Renee Morales is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 10, 2024 and September 10, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Rebecca Kopelman, Renee Morales". It most often appears alongside Anika Levy, Annabel Boardman, Antiart.

Article page: Renee Morales
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 10, 2024
Last seen: September 10, 2024

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

Statues Of Critics. September 10, 2024

Anika Levy 1 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 1 shared issues
Antiart 1 shared issues
Artnet 1 shared issues
August Lamm 1 shared issues

Source context

Statues Of Critics.

September 10, 2024 · Original source

Also Thursday, September 12 from 7pm to 11pm —SillyGal Mag celebrates their final issue at Pretty Garden Club. Readings from Lucia Auerbach, George Brainard, Rebecca Kopelman, Renee Morales, and Emma Schwartz

Inline links: SillyGal Mag, Pretty Garden Club, Lucia Auerbach, George Brainard, Rebecca Kopelman, Emma Schwartz

Reuben Son1 mentions across 1 issues

Reuben Son is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 09, 2024 and December 09, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "feature readings by ... Reuben Son, and Megumi Tanaka". It most often appears alongside 171 Canal, 177 Mulberry, 264 Canal.

Article page: Reuben Son
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 09, 2024
Last seen: December 09, 2024
Instagram handle: @not_not_reuben

Outbound links

Issue trail

kind of a dud socially December 09, 2024

171 Canal 1 shared issues
177 Mulberry 1 shared issues
264 Canal 1 shared issues
9 Monroe St 1 shared issues
Alec Mapes-Frances 1 shared issues

Source context

December 09, 2024 · Original source

From 7pm - 9pm at Heart — Are.na hosts the launch party for Are.na Annual 2025. There will be copies of the book, drinks, and readings. Are.na is one of my favorite corners of the internet - “online software for organizing content, and a toolkit for assembling new worlds from the scraps of the old.” The Sixth Are.na Annual launch will feature readings by Finnegan Shannon, Gerardo Ismael Madera, Reuben Son, and Megumi Tanaka. Custom drinks by Megan Pai and Cammie Lee.

Inline links: Heart, Are.na, Finnegan Shannon, Gerardo Ismael Madera, Reuben Son, Megumi Tanaka, Megan Pai

Revenge Wife1 mentions across 1 issues

Revenge Wife is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 22, 2025 and December 22, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Emma Newman-Holde, Revenge Wife, and Mikayla Bryant". It most often appears alongside 169 Bar, 243 Bowery, 3.

Article page: Revenge Wife
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 22, 2025
Last seen: December 22, 2025

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA December 22, 2025

169 Bar 1 shared issues
243 Bowery 1 shared issues
3 1 shared issues
56 Henry 1 shared issues
99 Minutes 1 shared issues

Source context

What Are You Doing In The Fall?

December 22, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at The York — Punisher returns with their second installment. A reading series by writers-and-divas-turned-visionaries: Sarah Velk and Kennedy Wright. Readings by Magdalene Taylor, Vivi Hayes, Erin Satterthwaite, Emma Newman-Holde, Revenge Wife, and Mikayla Bryant. Great lineup!

Inline links: The York, Punisher, second installment, Sarah Velk, Kennedy Wright

Rew Starr1 mentions across 1 issues

Rew Starr is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 03, 2024 and September 03, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Hosted by Rew Starr". It most often appears alongside 56 Henry, A.L., Adidas.

Article page: Rew Starr
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 03, 2024
Last seen: September 03, 2024
Instagram handle: @rewstarr

Outbound links

Issue trail

What Are You Doing In The Fall? September 03, 2024

56 Henry 1 shared issues
A.L. 1 shared issues
Adidas 1 shared issues
Alex Walton 1 shared issues
Ali Eyal 1 shared issues

Source context

September 03, 2024 · Original source

From 8pm — Matthew Danger Lippman hosts a show at Alphaville to celebrate his 29th birthday - ft MDL Band, Jim E. Brown, and Alex Walton. Hosted by Rew Starr. Message Matthew for tickets if you are interested in writing a recap - all 3 acts will be famous within the next year…

Inline links: Matthew Danger Lippman, Alphaville, Jim E. Brown, Alex Walton, Rew Starr

Richard Hell1 mentions across 1 issues

Richard Hell is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 16, 2024 and December 16, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Featuring Richard Hell, Katherine Faw, Geoff Rickly". It most often appears alongside Allison Brainard, Altro Paradiso, Ama Birch.

Article page: Richard Hell
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 16, 2024
Last seen: December 16, 2024

Issue trail

Moral Framework December 16, 2024

Allison Brainard 1 shared issues
Altro Paradiso 1 shared issues
Ama Birch 1 shared issues
American Cuck 1 shared issues
Annabel 1 shared issues

Source context

December 16, 2024 · Original source

From 8pm at Seventh Heaven — Car Crash Collective hosts their Anthology Reading. Featuring Richard Hell, Katherine Faw, Geoff Rickly, Claire Donato, Ryan Petersen, Danielle Chelosky, Jade Wootton, and Em Brill.

Inline links: Car Crash Collective, Geoff Rickly, Claire Donato, Ryan Petersen, Danielle Chelosky, Em Brill

Richard Kern1 mentions across 1 issues

Richard Kern is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 16, 2024 and December 16, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "The line to get into the Richard Kern book launch is too long". It most often appears alongside Allison Brainard, Altro Paradiso, Ama Birch.

Article page: Richard Kern
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 16, 2024
Last seen: December 16, 2024

Outbound links

https://www.richardkern.com/books-1

Issue trail

Moral Framework December 16, 2024

Allison Brainard 1 shared issues
Altro Paradiso 1 shared issues
Ama Birch 1 shared issues
American Cuck 1 shared issues
Annabel 1 shared issues

Source context

Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence

December 16, 2024 · Original source

Monday, December 9 A busy day. One quickly finds this to be the solution to all malignant indulgences. Before a comedy show at Jean’s, Natasha and I go to Altro Paradiso for dinner. It’s an early dinner in the rain. Madelyn works here, and I’ve been meaning to visit for a while. I’ve been meaning to apply for a job here, too, but the list of things I’ve been meaning to do on that front continues to pile up. We order many things on the menu. The house specialties that we did not order somehow seem to keep materializing on our table as well. It’s like magic. It’s a special night. Rumor has it: Marina Abromovic was dining here this afternoon. Rumor has it, she’s dined here twenty times. Altro Paradiso is a well lit restaurant - I read something I liked about well lit restaurants this week and now I can’t recall where. The premise was: enough of this haze. Some people want to see their food. Some people want to see and be seen. Tonight, I drink Ciro Picariello. It’s like white wine but it sparkles. I drink a cocktail with peach purée and peach liquor. I drink a dirty martini. I eat olives, bread and ricotta, finocchio, another salad with fig and orange, mushroom pasta shaped like pillows, lemon pasta shaped like thick noodles, branzino, gelato. It’s a winter feast. I haven’t had a feast like this in my recent recollection. After, the rain has stopped but the evening is still misty. We hail a cab. We’re too late for Jean’s. Natasha is good at spotting famous people. Rebecca Black walks by. EmRata’s ex husband. Some other people, too. We go the The Nines, which is very festive, but where everyone is very rude. We go back to Jean’s. The show is over, they let us in, but there's no point in lingering now. I loved tonight, I say when I get home. A sign of mental stability is drinking alcohol and not hating every second of it. I know for some people, it's the opposite, but this is how it works for me. Tuesday, December 10 The line to get into the Richard Kern book launch is too long and it's raining. I see Annabel and Ellie outside. I see that Berlin blogger who only wears all black or all white and her TikTok DJ boyfriend. "I need to become someone who's 'list me or miss me'", a girl in line sighs. We're still waiting in the rain. She said this in a way like she was kidding, but I repeat the sentiment with no humility to David later. "We should become 'list me or miss me’,” I say. David has a tendency to bludgeon his way through lines. "We should become 'list me or i'm going to fucking kill you’,” David says. After I abandon the Richard Kern line, I go to Lucien. I run into a few people there. The expected and the unexpected. There are things I'm very excited about these days. Excitement is risky - it's unwise to tempt fate and it's destructive to celebrate accomplishments you are yet to achieve, but I am excited. Full of ideas again. Everyone at Lucien is an actor. That must be so cool, I say. I'm so full of sincerity, I think. This time of year can be so full in general that it begins to feel uneasy. This type of luxury isn't mine to claim and it's certainly not sustainable. The hedonism feels truly hedonistic today, though. It's energetic, not coated with something darker. I'm having so much fun. David wants to go to Frog Club for banana chiffon pie. "Why am I so broken up about Frog Club closing?” asks David. "You've never been to Frog Club," I say. "Yeah, that's probably why," says David. Risotto David made for me + prints from Paris Wednesday, December 11 I went to the Russian Baths on Wall Street on my first day in New York. I still go often now. It’s not really of my own volition. It’s a family tradition. It’s still pouring today. It’s been pouring all week. I used to think the Russian Baths were all liminal space and Russian mob, but now it feels less secret. The Doritos are from Israel. Russian Jews and Russian Gentiles, I hear someone explaining in line behind me. The building is huge. The pool area does feel kind of like The Backrooms. I have night terrors every night. In my dreams, I am never stuck in places like this. My aunt likes the cold plunge. She can stay in it for seven minutes, far beyond the recommended time of three. The Wim Hof method recommends rapid bursts of breath coupled with exposure to the extreme cold. I’m in the Infrared Sauna. On Christmas, I will swim outside in Walden Pond. Wim Hof (the man) lost a finger, an ear, something detached in the retina of his eye… I can’t recall the specific injury but something bad happened swimming across an icy lake. He took it too far. When I get back to New York, I will swim off Orchard Beach. There’s a group that goes every morning. My aunt tells me you have to go to Orchard Beach in the winter. It’s like Siberia in the Winter. It’s finally getting cold enough to swim. On my Wednesday at the Russian Baths, I lose my keys. I lose the big rubber slippers that they give you on arrival. I can’t last very long in the extreme heat or the extreme cold. An actor in the infrared sauna is talking about how he can only memorize lines in the cold plunge. I’m thinking about how I’m in an infinite feedback loop where everyone I meet keeps being actors. We go to dinner at the Russian Restaurant at the spa. It’s called Matryoshka like the dolls. I only learn this later David and I split potato pancakes, salad olivier which is the one with mayonnaise and egg and chicken (delicious), beef stroganoff, steamed chicken pelmeni. More stroganoff and borscht and red wine is also passed around the table. I can’t drink red wine, so I drink ginger juice and ginger vodka instead. Afterwards, too full to continue. There are other plans tonight - a film, a party, I promised I would go and I never cancel plans but sometimes I do just neglect to show up. A very bad habit. Inertia ultimately breeds pure evil! Time doesn’t pass at Spa 88. Still pouring but dark now, when we emerge from the underground. Thursday, December 12 My abridged review of Dimes Square (revival) today. I didn’t see it the first time around - I wasn’t here. I was in Boston. I was in a sorority. I arrived in this godforsaken ecosystem after it was already dead. I’m kind of being facetious. I think people try to qualify eras too concretely. Concretely: Dimes Square (the play) is indeed a period piece. In the vein of all Matthew Gasda’s plays, it is emotionally rich, lucid, kind of yearning, which catches me off guard but I think adds depth. The thing I like most about Dimes Square is this: it’s not self serious but also it is not sneering. The best satire is actually quite sincere. This is why most satire is generally and particularly in contemporary culture, bad. Dimes Square (the play) is excellent. I will be publishing a stand alone review of the play here shortly. I already wrote the review but then I realized I was far too stuck on historical accuracy and far too personally tortured. In the meantime (from my notes) -- “The main fault of the characters in the play is that they are cruel, but the main critique of this scene in real life is that it is (was?) (is?) full of people who are pathetic”

Richard Press1 mentions across 1 issues

Richard Press is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 19, 2024 and November 19, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Richard Press (grandson of J.Press founder) presents his recent book on a life in American tailoring". It most often appears alongside Adeline, Adriana Furlong, Aimee Armstrong.

Article page: Richard Press
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 19, 2024
Last seen: November 19, 2024
Instagram handle: @rvpress55

Outbound links

Issue trail

Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence November 19, 2024

Adeline 1 shared issues
Adriana Furlong 1 shared issues
Aimee Armstrong 1 shared issues
Alexander Sammartino 1 shared issues
Alissa Bennett 1 shared issues

Source context

November 19, 2024 · Original source

For menswear enthusiasts - Richard Press (grandson of J.Press founder) presents his recent book on a life in American tailoring and the history of J.Press. Hosted by The New Criterion at the J. Press shop on 44th Street. (RSVP)

Inline links: Richard Press, J.Press, The New Criterion, RSVP

Richard Prince1 mentions across 1 issues

Richard Prince is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Richard Prince never-before-seen recent works at Gagosian". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Richard Prince
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025

Outbound links

https://gagosian.com/exhibitions/2025/richard-prince-folk-songs/

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

Big long list of activities

November 05, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm - 8pm — It’s a big night of openings in Chelsea. Joan Mitchell works on paper from 1960 - 1965 at David Zwirner, Richard Prince never-before-seen recent works at Gagosian, Alex Da Corte new sculptures at Matthew Marks.

Inline links: Joan Mitchell, Richard Prince, Alex Da Corte

Riley Rider1 mentions across 1 issues

Riley Rider is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 01, 2025 and May 01, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "featuring...Joanna Yamakami, and Riley Rider". It most often appears alongside 720 Strength Lower East Side, Ali Rq, Anna Ting Möller.

Article page: Riley Rider
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 01, 2025
Last seen: May 01, 2025

Issue trail

Big long list of activities May 01, 2025

720 Strength Lower East Side 1 shared issues
Ali Rq 1 shared issues
Anna Ting Möller 1 shared issues
Aria Aber 1 shared issues
Art Party 1 shared issues

Source context

May 01, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at 720 Strength Lower East Side — BRCOpenMics presents Reading Series - featuring Shae Sennett, Kristin Stainton, Finnian Lyon, Dominic Murazzi, Caitlin Gillmet, Joanna Yamakami, and Riley Rider. BYOB.

Inline links: 720 Strength Lower East Side

River L. Ramirez1 mentions across 1 issues

River L. Ramirez is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 12, 2025 and November 12, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "River L. Ramirez celebrates the release of '7' - a book of short stories". It most often appears alongside 10 Today, 7, @quietluke.

Article page: River L. Ramirez
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 12, 2025
Last seen: November 12, 2025
Instagram handle: @pileoftears

Outbound links

Issue trail

Things that Happened Once I Gave Up Vice November 12, 2025

10 Today 1 shared issues
7 1 shared issues
@quietluke 1 shared issues
@shrimpandgritseater 1 shared issues
Abdu Mongo Ali 1 shared issues

Source context

November 12, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at Dear Friend Books — River L. Ramirez celebrates the release of “7” - a book of short stories with indie press Clockface. | RSVP here.

Inline links: Dear Friend Books, River L. Ramirez, “7”, here

Ro Mille1 mentions across 1 issues

Ro Mille is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between January 27, 2025 and January 27, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Andreas Keller, Ro Mille, and more". It most often appears alongside A Lit Mag Mixer, A Public Space, After Hours Book Club.

Article page: Ro Mille
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: January 27, 2025
Last seen: January 27, 2025

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

End of the Cold Front January 27, 2025

A Lit Mag Mixer 1 shared issues
A Public Space 1 shared issues
After Hours Book Club 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Andreas Keller 1 shared issues

Source context

End of the Cold Front

January 27, 2025 · Original source

From 6:30 - 9:30 at Olfactory Art Keller — Viscose Journal celebrates the NYC launch of Issue N° 7 “SCENT”, with contributes Jessica Murphy, Whitney Mallet, Olivia Kan-Sperling, Andreas Keller, Ro Mille, and more.

Inline links: Olfactory Art Keller, Viscose Journal

Roan Hutner1 mentions across 1 issues

Roan Hutner is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Food by Roan Hutner. Piano by Jonah Trudeau". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Roan Hutner
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 11pm at Tawny — Petal Books hosts a book release and art show, ft Ayana Iyer, Ciff Gant, Cole Smith, Jackson Ebbin, Jacob Ortega, Matt Bvoinms, Nathan Fayyazuddin, Nico Jones, Poppy Silvermen, Romi Marckx, Stella Jarvis. Food by Roan Hutner. Piano by Jonah Trudeau.

Inline links: Tawny, Petal Books

Robert Gittings1 mentions across 1 issues

Robert Gittings is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between April 15, 2025 and April 15, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Hosted by Paul Franz, Matthew Gasda, and Robert Gittings". It most often appears alongside Alex Kazemi, Anthony Galluzzo, BioBat Art Space.

Article page: Robert Gittings
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: April 15, 2025
Last seen: April 15, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

[REDACTED] is awful April 15, 2025

Alex Kazemi 1 shared issues
Anthony Galluzzo 1 shared issues
BioBat Art Space 1 shared issues
Brittany 1 shared issues
Brittany Menjivar 1 shared issues

Source context

April 15, 2025 · Original source

From 7:30pm at Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Serpent Club Press celebrates the forthcoming issue with a reading and party. Hosted by Paul Franz, Matthew Gasda, and Robert Gittings. Readings by Ross Barkan, Greg Gerke, Anthony Galluzzo, Ella Schmidt and more.

Inline links: Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, reading and party, Paul Franz, Matthew Gasda

Robert Greene1 mentions across 1 issues

Robert Greene is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 13, 2024 and November 13, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Mastery by Robert Greene". It most often appears alongside A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell, Alex Katz, Alex Osman.

Article page: Robert Greene
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 13, 2024
Last seen: November 13, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Collected Agenda with Lydia Sviatoslavsky November 13, 2024

A Year on Earth with Mr. Hell 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues
Alex Osman 1 shared issues
Allen Street 1 shared issues
America: The Farewell Tour 1 shared issues

Source context

November 13, 2024 · Original source

Mastery by Robert Greene

Robert Lowell1 mentions across 1 issues

Robert Lowell is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between July 18, 2025 and July 18, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Life Studies by manic depressive poet Robert Lowell"; "robert lowell (right now)". It most often appears alongside 154 Scott NYC, ALLSHIPS, Alphaville.

Article page: Robert Lowell
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: July 18, 2025
Last seen: July 18, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

Things I do like here July 18, 2025

154 Scott NYC 1 shared issues
ALLSHIPS 1 shared issues
Alphaville 1 shared issues
Amelia 1 shared issues
Annie's 1 shared issues

Source context

Things I do like here

July 18, 2025 · Original source

WHAT I DID Monday, July 14 Dream Reflection - I was buying vintage workout wear and advancing down a very long corridor. Sweet summer heat. It is not too sticky or slow. There is a lot that begins all at once and so I: sleep til the afternoon and I decide that I'll still bear it. About to do something subversive could you call the police if you don’t hear from me in like four hours thanks, Amelia texts, an hour after Very Late Wake Up. Yes of course, I respond. I do follow up but it's the sort of thing where one probably shouldn't. An album a film a story a day and the letters are to my family now and clarity seems like the only thing that will probably become truly essential, though I do feel bored, going on in this way. The books at Sunlife Smoothie Shop do leave me feeling kind of repulsed - Think and Grow RICH and The Forrest Gump of Addiction Stories and, I would like to haul my blue and white and already kind of festering concoction to the street and up the stairs and home only, it's turning to sludge in even the flicker of daylight I've allowed it to meet. Lions main, spiralina, none of these words mean anything. I will remember how to write and read and confess my sins regarding flash floods and apocalyptic ideation, but for now, none of these words mean anything. Amelia comes over and we sit on the couch in mostly silence until it’s dark. Sorry for making you come over and sit in the dark, I tell Re. I used to have a lot of hobbies, Amelia tells me. Tuesday, July 15 Lie on the floor and dream about it. An illness came in the night and then faded by the afternoon. You should still reflect on it more, I was told. You should be less navel-gazing about it, I was told, later, a little bit after that. To recollect a life there is: red light therapy and lymphatic drainage, bone broth and dandelion tea in the morning. There are splotches of solitude in between, and now, I am trying not to fill it all up with slop. I pick up the laundry from the spot where the laundry man is always glowering or all smiles and never anything in between. I buy a water flosser, four gently used white linen dresses, a smoothie bowl that is too big and bright blue and I ponder how anyone could possibly consume the whole thing of something like that and then I finish it all in one go. What I Do In A Day In New York City. I vow to consume nothing ever again. Isabel sends over Life Studies by manic depressive poet Robert Lowell and some other writings by his wife that she thinks might correlate with My Situation. Saunter over to an awful summer show at a gallery that I feel bad to name and anyways my judgement is probably just a result of my messed up spirits. I shower at home now, not in the bright hallways of my weird-and-off-putting gym. I keep it dark inside for the sake of energy conservation and spiritual fortitude. Downtown, Bacaro is packed and the bald man at the table over is reluctant to tell his date his name. We light paper straws on fire at Bar Belly. SUBURBIA, the book above me is called. WAVES, says the next book over. The scene is dead, my friends are saying. Everyone is fat and happy. The subway is flooded. And you shouldn't have to self destruct in order to conjure up something interesting to say, but if you can successfully tow the line, well..... Everyone is smirking. The key of it though, is the towing of the line. So, I will go home and transcribe more platitudes. Your will to create beauty shapes your time. Wednesday, July 16 Air conditioner whirring at two in the morning and I have come to life again for the first time in my five-week-life. Thursday, July 17 They are perched inside the fountain in Washington Square Park painting blue hour landscapes on canvas behind the sheen of the fountain, and so of course the water is speckling the paint. I imagine the damage will settle in a nice sort of way. They are playing wind chimes and wearing micro shorts. Claudette is still closed for the season. They are stringing bungee cords across the street at West 10th. On the phone, I hold my breath. Did you go to the party, I am asked. No. Me neither. Iced mint tea in a hotel lobby that is kind of Scandinavian and cheerful in spirit. Back in the park; Where will I go, I could ask the tarot reader. Hopefully somewhere that is not here, the tarot reader could say. Staring down, embarrassing, out of it, but I still avoid walking into the incoming traffic. There are things I do like here: iced mint tea

robert lowell (right now)

Robert Lund1 mentions across 1 issues

Robert Lund is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between July 08, 2024 and July 08, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "introduced by Stephanie LaCava, Manon Lutanie, and Robert Lund". It most often appears alongside 442 Broadway, 7-Eleven, A Doll House.

Article page: Robert Lund
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: July 08, 2024
Last seen: July 08, 2024
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #5 July 08, 2024

442 Broadway 1 shared issues
7-Eleven 1 shared issues
A Doll House 1 shared issues
Adam Lehrer 1 shared issues
Amant 1 shared issues

Source context

July 08, 2024 · Original source

Tuesday, July 16 at 7:30pm - Anthology Film Archive presents a special screening of HOT TICKET by Zoë Lund. The premiere of the film's new restoration follows a series of readings and performances of Lund’s early poetry and select scenes from her screenplays. The program will be introduced by Stephanie LaCava, Manon Lutanie, and Robert Lund. The readers and performers for the event will include LaCava, Dasha Nekrasova, and Diamond Stingily.

Inline links: Anthology Film Archive, Stephanie LaCava, Manon Lutanie, Robert Lund, Dasha Nekrasova, Diamond Stingily

Robin Percyz1 mentions across 1 issues

Robin Percyz is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 25, 2025 and March 25, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "KGB Lit presents Issue 23, featuring Robin Percyz"; "Issue 23, featuring Robin Percyz, Eleanor Colligan". It most often appears alongside Albany, Alex Arthur, Anamaria Silic.

Article page: Robin Percyz
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 25, 2025
Last seen: March 25, 2025
Instagram handle: @me_betseybrown

Outbound links

Issue trail

How to Redeem Yourself March 25, 2025

Albany 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Anamaria Silic 1 shared issues
Anthology Film Archives 1 shared issues
ArtX 1 shared issues

Source context

How to Redeem Yourself

March 25, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at KGB — KGB Lit presents Issue 23, featuring Robin Percyz, Eleanor Colligan, Zaza Koshkadze, Ledia Xhoga, Stephanie Wambugu, Anamaria Silic, and Grace Katherine Gay.

Inline links: KGB Lit

Robin Schavoir1 mentions across 1 issues

Robin Schavoir is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 25, 2025 and March 25, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Mayor of Rome by Robin Schavoir". It most often appears alongside Albany, Alex Arthur, Anamaria Silic.

Article page: Robin Schavoir
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 25, 2025
Last seen: March 25, 2025
Instagram handle: @robinschavoir

Outbound links

Issue trail

How to Redeem Yourself March 25, 2025

Albany 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Anamaria Silic 1 shared issues
Anthology Film Archives 1 shared issues
ArtX 1 shared issues

Source context

How to Redeem Yourself

March 25, 2025 · Original source

From 4pm - 6pm at BCTR — Fight Club returns for Volume II. This time, it’s a reading. Car Crash Girl by Taylor Jeanne Penney, and Mayor of Rome by Robin Schavoir. Spring is here, so obviously, the roof will be open.

Inline links: Taylor Jeanne Penney, Robin Schavoir

Rocco1 mentions across 1 issues

Rocco is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between August 23, 2024 and August 23, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "g Rocco , MGNA Crrrta , Suzy Sheer , and Club Cringe". It most often appears alongside $Egirl, Adeline Swartzendruber, Annabel Boardman.

Article page: Rocco
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: August 23, 2024
Last seen: August 23, 2024

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #8 August 23, 2024

$Egirl 1 shared issues
Adeline Swartzendruber 1 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 1 shared issues
Auntie Anne's 1 shared issues
Beckett Rosset 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #8

August 23, 2024 · Original source

Frost Fest continues with night two tonight at Rash with Nation, Big Rocco, MGNA Crrrta, Suzy Sheer, and Club Cringe.

Inline links: Frost Fest, Rash, Nation, MGNA Crrrta, Suzy Sheer, Club Cringe

Roddy Bottum1 mentions across 1 issues

Roddy Bottum is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between January 19, 2025 and January 19, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Featuring Alex Auder, Roddy Bottum, Lizzi Bougatsos, and Gideon Jacobs". It most often appears alongside accelerationism, Ada Antoinette, Adam Wilson.

Article page: Roddy Bottum
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: January 19, 2025
Last seen: January 19, 2025
Instagram handle: @roddybottum

Outbound links

Issue trail

January continues January 19, 2025

accelerationism 1 shared issues
Ada Antoinette 1 shared issues
Adam Wilson 1 shared issues
Adele 1 shared issues
Airbnb 1 shared issues

Source context

Mimetic Theories of Doing Nothing

January 19, 2025 · Original source

From 6:30pm at Tibet House — Arden Wohl’s poetry series “The Relentless Shadow Where the Light Surrenders” returns. Featuring Alex Auder, Roddy Bottum, Lizzi Bougatsos, and Gideon Jacobs.

Inline links: Tibet House, Arden Wohl’s, The Relentless Shadow Where the Light Surrenders, Alex Auder, Roddy Bottum, Lizzi Bougatsos, Gideon Jacobs

Roger Winter1 mentions across 1 issues

Roger Winter is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 07, 2024 and October 07, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Roger Winter opens his solo exhibition Manhattan Valley at Tara Downs". It most often appears alongside After Hours, Agnes Enkh, AIA New York.

Article page: Roger Winter
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 07, 2024
Last seen: October 07, 2024
Instagram handle: @rogerwinterofficial

Outbound links

Issue trail

Mimetic Theories of Doing Nothing October 07, 2024

After Hours 1 shared issues
Agnes Enkh 1 shared issues
AIA New York 1 shared issues
ambient iii 1 shared issues
Andre Magana 1 shared issues

Source context

October 07, 2024 · Original source

Roger Winter opens his solo exhibition Manhattan Valley at Tara Downs - “a selection in Winter’s signature pop-realism: flat opaque portraits and landscapes of New York”

Inline links: Roger Winter, Tara Downs

Romi Marckx1 mentions across 1 issues

Romi Marckx is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Poppy Silvermen, Romi Marckx, Stella Jarvis". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Romi Marckx
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 11pm at Tawny — Petal Books hosts a book release and art show, ft Ayana Iyer, Ciff Gant, Cole Smith, Jackson Ebbin, Jacob Ortega, Matt Bvoinms, Nathan Fayyazuddin, Nico Jones, Poppy Silvermen, Romi Marckx, Stella Jarvis. Food by Roan Hutner. Piano by Jonah Trudeau.

Inline links: Tawny, Petal Books

Rorey1 mentions across 1 issues

Rorey is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 06, 2025 and October 06, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "October Reading Series, ft Rorey, Chloe Wheeler, Will Lach". It most often appears alongside 720 Strength LES, 92NY, A.M. Homes.

Article page: Rorey
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 06, 2025
Last seen: October 06, 2025

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

Big Huge World October 06, 2025

720 Strength LES 1 shared issues
92NY 1 shared issues
A.M. Homes 1 shared issues
Abel Ferrara 1 shared issues
Above Town #2 1 shared issues

Source context

October 06, 2025 · Original source

From 4pm at 720 Strength LES — BRCOpenMics presents October Reading Series, ft Rorey, Chloe Wheeler, Will Lach, Tania Jaramillo, Sarah Borruto, Kathryn Kearney, Tyson Elizabeth Pope, and Paige Walker.

Inline links: 720 Strength LES, BRCOpenMics, October Reading Series

Rosa Lyster1 mentions across 1 issues

Rosa Lyster is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 13, 2025 and October 13, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Philip Hoare, Rosa Lyster, and Jago Rackham". It most often appears alongside 365 Apartment, Adriant Khadafhi Bereal, Afters.

Article page: Rosa Lyster
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 13, 2025
Last seen: October 13, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

Void of Course October 13, 2025

365 Apartment 1 shared issues
Adriant Khadafhi Bereal 1 shared issues
Afters 1 shared issues
Aheem 1 shared issues
Alain de Botton 1 shared issues

Source context

Void of Course

October 13, 2025 · Original source

LONDON - From 8pm at The Mandrake Hotel — Soho Reading Series and Minor Attractions present The Geoff Dyer Gala. Readings from Geoff Dyer, Xiaolu Guo, Philip Hoare, Rosa Lyster, and Jago Rackham. Hosted by Tom Willis. | RSVP here.

Inline links: The Mandrake Hotel, Soho Reading Series, Minor Attractions, here

Rosa Shipley1 mentions across 1 issues

Rosa Shipley is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Ft readings by Eliza Barry Callahan, Cat Cohen, Rayne Risher Quann, and Rosa Shipley". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Rosa Shipley
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2025 · Original source

From 8pm at Rodeo — Emmeline Clein celebrates the paperback release of Dead Weight. Ft readings by Eliza Barry Callahan, Cat Cohen, Rayne Risher Quann, and Rosa Shipley.

Inline links: Rodeo, Emmeline Clein, Dead Weight

Rosanna Arquette1 mentions across 1 issues

Rosanna Arquette is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 06, 2025 and October 06, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Q&A with filmmaker Susan Seidelman and actor Rosanna Arquette". It most often appears alongside 720 Strength LES, 92NY, A.M. Homes.

Article page: Rosanna Arquette
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 06, 2025
Last seen: October 06, 2025
Instagram handle: @annakhachiyan

Outbound links

Issue trail

Big Huge World October 06, 2025

720 Strength LES 1 shared issues
92NY 1 shared issues
A.M. Homes 1 shared issues
Abel Ferrara 1 shared issues
Above Town #2 1 shared issues

Source context

October 06, 2025 · Original source

The Downtown Festival presents a series of screenings at The Roxy — at 2:30pm; Realities and Illusions - featuring works by Lily Lady, Alex O Eaton, Lisa Hammer, Andrew Norman Wilson, and more. At 5pm; Desperately Seeking Susan followed by a Q&A with filmmaker Susan Seidelman and actor Rosanna Arquette, moderated by Special Guest. At 7pm; New Rose Hotel followed by conversation with Abel Ferrara and Stephanie LaCava. At 10pm; Ryan Trecartin Movies; Selected Works 2009 - 2016

Inline links: The Downtown Festival, Realities and Illusions, Desperately Seeking Susan, New Rose Hotel, Ryan Trecartin Movies; Selected Works 2009 - 2016

Rose Salane1 mentions across 1 issues

Rose Salane is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 12, 2025 and November 12, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Arcane celebrates its launch ft Rose Salane"; "ft ... Rose Salane". It most often appears alongside 10 Today, 7, @quietluke.

Article page: Rose Salane
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 12, 2025
Last seen: November 12, 2025

Outbound links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32365707/

Issue trail

Things that Happened Once I Gave Up Vice November 12, 2025

10 Today 1 shared issues
7 1 shared issues
@quietluke 1 shared issues
@shrimpandgritseater 1 shared issues
Abdu Mongo Ali 1 shared issues

Source context

November 12, 2025 · Original source

From 6pm - 9pm at The River — Arcane celebrates its launch with screenings and readings, ft Michel Auder, Rose Salane, Tommy Malekoff, Valentina Vaccarella, Kye Christensen-Knowles, Nico Lou Carrasquillo, Antoine Clauss, Montana Thomas, and Jacob Ace.

Inline links: The River, Arcane

Ross Simonini1 mentions across 1 issues

Ross Simonini is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2025 and November 05, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Music by Ross Simonini". It most often appears alongside 220 Bogart St, 99 Minutes or Less, Alex Da Corte.

Article page: Ross Simonini
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2025
Last seen: November 05, 2025
Instagram handle: @rosssimonini

Outbound links

Issue trail

Fever Dreams November 05, 2025

220 Bogart St 1 shared issues
99 Minutes or Less 1 shared issues
Alex Da Corte 1 shared issues
Alex Delany 1 shared issues
Alice Bailey 1 shared issues

Source context

November 05, 2025 · Original source

LOS ANGELES - From 8pm at Earth — Muscle Man event. A reading, conversation, and live scroll with Jordan Castro and Tao Lin. Music by Ross Simonini.

Inline links: Earth, Muscle Man, Jordan Castro, Tao Lin, Ross Simonini

Royston Coppenger1 mentions across 1 issues

Royston Coppenger is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between June 24, 2024 and June 24, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "with a new translation by Royston Coppenger". It most often appears alongside A Doll House, Adam Lehrer, AirPods Max.

Article page: Royston Coppenger
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: June 24, 2024
Last seen: June 24, 2024

Outbound links

Issue trail

COLLECTED AGENDA #4 June 24, 2024

A Doll House 1 shared issues
Adam Lehrer 1 shared issues
AirPods Max 1 shared issues
AMA Raw Bar 1 shared issues
Anastasia Berg 1 shared issues

Source context

COLLECTED AGENDA #4

June 24, 2024 · Original source

July 5 to 14 from 10am to 6pm daily - Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research presents A Doll House, directed by John Gould Rubin, with a new translation by Royston Coppenger. The workshop will allow viewers to observe rehearsals, and engage in conversation with the director and cast.

Inline links: Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research, A Doll House

Ruben Landini1 mentions across 1 issues

Ruben Landini is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 19, 2025 and November 19, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "alongside painter Ruben Landini's la[test work]". It most often appears alongside @jeansdown, @thegirljt, Adi Eshman.

Article page: Ruben Landini
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 19, 2025
Last seen: November 19, 2025
Instagram handle: @rubenlandini

Outbound links

Issue trail

Winter (03) November 19, 2025

@jeansdown 1 shared issues
@thegirljt 1 shared issues
Adi Eshman 1 shared issues
Afters 1 shared issues
Afters 1 shared issues

Source context

Winter (03)

November 19, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - 10pm at Tawny — Cellist Iratxe Ibaibarriaga presents her debut album “Preludes” alongside painter Ruben Landini’s latest body of work. Tawny is one of my new favorite spots! Very chic and cozy.

Inline links: Iratxe Ibaibarriaga, Ruben Landini’s

Ruby Joan1 mentions across 1 issues

Ruby Joan is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between February 04, 2026 and February 04, 2026. The archive places it in contexts such as "Ruby Joan performs, along with Henry's Turn and Croaker". It most often appears alongside 1LDK, @henrymunsonsinstagram, Alessandro Keegan.

Article page: Ruby Joan
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: February 04, 2026
Last seen: February 04, 2026
Instagram handle: @rrubyjoan

Outbound links

Issue trail

Hotel-Life-For-Life February 04, 2026

1LDK 1 shared issues
@henrymunsonsinstagram 1 shared issues
Alessandro Keegan 1 shared issues
Alison Kudlow 1 shared issues
Amazon 1 shared issues

Source context

Hotel-Life-For-Life

February 04, 2026 · Original source

From 7pm at Baby’s Alright — Ruby Joan performs, along with Henry’s Turn and Croaker. Beautiful live music sets <3

Inline links: Ruby Joan, Henry’s Turn, Croaker

Ruby Justice1 mentions across 1 issues

Ruby Justice is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 02, 2025 and December 02, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Readings and performances by ... Ruby Justice, Nicholas Christensen". It most often appears alongside 98th Academy Awards, Airliner, Albany.

Article page: Ruby Justice
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 02, 2025
Last seen: December 02, 2025
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

Florida, Massachusetts (03) December 02, 2025

98th Academy Awards 1 shared issues
Airliner 1 shared issues
Albany 1 shared issues
Alma Pannier 1 shared issues
Amtrak 1 shared issues

Source context

mutually assured destruction

December 02, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm - late at TJ Byrnes — Montez Press and Perfectly Imperfect host the NYC launch of Dorian Electra’s new book ART. Readings and performances by Dorian Electra, Jane Balfus, Sam Rolfes, Corriane Ciani, Julian Stephan Ribeiro, Andrea Mauri, FKA Prince, Ruby Justice, Nicholas Christensen, Lulu West, Izzy Casey, Lewis Grant, and Count Baldor.

Inline links: Montez Press, Perfectly Imperfect, Dorian Electra’s, ART

Ruby Justice Thelot1 mentions across 1 issues

Ruby Justice Thelot is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 06, 2025 and May 06, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Featuring India Price, Mika Bar on Nesher, Ruby Justice Thelot". It most often appears alongside A Musical Environment, A Night of New Literature, A.L. Bahta.

Article page: Ruby Justice Thelot
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 06, 2025
Last seen: May 06, 2025
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

mutually assured destruction May 06, 2025

A Musical Environment 1 shared issues
A Night of New Literature 1 shared issues
A.L. Bahta 1 shared issues
all the words that came down to meet the body that came up from the ground 1 shared issues
Amtrak 1 shared issues

Source context

May 06, 2025 · Original source

From 2pm - 4pm at 243 Bowery — SuperRare hosts a panel discussion on Factory Reality: Post-Realism in the 2020s. Featuring India Price, Mika Bar on Nesher, Ruby Justice Thelot, Brendan Dawes, A.L. Bahta, Kevin James

Inline links: 243 Bowery, SuperRare

Ruby Lyn1 mentions across 1 issues

Ruby Lyn is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2024 and November 05, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "on sale from the closets of Lucy Rae McFadin, Sasha Fierce, Ruby Lyn, and more". It most often appears alongside 66 Greene St, Adeline Swartzendruber, Agnes Enhtamir.

Article page: Ruby Lyn
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2024
Last seen: November 05, 2024
Instagram handle: @rubysutt

Outbound links

Issue trail

Playing With Glass November 05, 2024

66 Greene St 1 shared issues
Adeline Swartzendruber 1 shared issues
Agnes Enhtamir 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues

Source context

Big long list of activities

November 05, 2024 · Original source

From 2pm - 7pm at Big Ash — Wine, music, and The Convention Of Hot Girls With Closets That Aren’t Big Enough. Archival vintage, deadstock, and Japanese designer on sale from the closets of Lucy Rae McFadin, Sasha Fierce, Ruby Lyn, and more.

Inline links: Big Ash, Lucy Rae McFadin, Sasha Fierce, Ruby Lyn

Rufat Agayev1 mentions across 1 issues

Rufat Agayev is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between May 01, 2025 and May 01, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "featuring Dina Hashem, Tolor Wolfe, Rufat Agayev, and Mary Houlihan". It most often appears alongside 720 Strength Lower East Side, Ali Rq, Anna Ting Möller.

Article page: Rufat Agayev
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: May 01, 2025
Last seen: May 01, 2025

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

Big long list of activities May 01, 2025

720 Strength Lower East Side 1 shared issues
Ali Rq 1 shared issues
Anna Ting Möller 1 shared issues
Aria Aber 1 shared issues
Art Party 1 shared issues

Source context

May 01, 2025 · Original source

From 5pm at CANADA — Clare O’Kane hosts Comedy on the Couch, featuring Dina Hashem, Tolor Wolfe, Rufat Agayev, and Mary Houlihan.

Inline links: CANADA

Russell Markus1 mentions across 1 issues

Russell Markus is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between September 10, 2024 and September 10, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Food by Russell Markus". It most often appears alongside Anika Levy, Annabel Boardman, Antiart.

Article page: Russell Markus
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: September 10, 2024
Last seen: September 10, 2024
Instagram handle: @russellmarkus

Outbound links

Issue trail

Statues Of Critics. September 10, 2024

Anika Levy 1 shared issues
Annabel Boardman 1 shared issues
Antiart 1 shared issues
Artnet 1 shared issues
August Lamm 1 shared issues

Source context

Statues Of Critics.

September 10, 2024 · Original source

Friday, September 13 at 7pm at Colbo — Geoff Snack (of Wrong Answer) hosts a Panel Discussion on The Business of Collecting. Other speakers include Kathleen Sorbara (of Chickees Vintage), Eric Oglander (of tihngs), and Jared Blake (of lichen). I’ve noticed an increasing emphasis and interest on tastemaking lately. I’m curious to see how this discussion responds to the topic. Food by Russell Markus, wines by Zev Rovine Selections.

Inline links: Colbo, Geoff Snack, Wrong Answer, Panel Discussion, Kathleen Sorbara, Chickees Vintage, Eric Oglander, tihngs, lichen, Russell Markus, Zev Rovine Selections

Ryan D. Peterson1 mentions across 1 issues

Ryan D. Peterson is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between April 15, 2025 and April 15, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "special appearances by … Ryan D. Peterson". It most often appears alongside Alex Kazemi, Anthony Galluzzo, BioBat Art Space.

Article page: Ryan D. Peterson
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: April 15, 2025
Last seen: April 15, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

[REDACTED] is awful April 15, 2025

Alex Kazemi 1 shared issues
Anthony Galluzzo 1 shared issues
BioBat Art Space 1 shared issues
Brittany 1 shared issues
Brittany Menjivar 1 shared issues

Source context

April 15, 2025 · Original source

From 7pm at The Strand Rare Book Room — Alex Kazemi and Kelly Cutrone host the launch of New Millenium Boyz. An old-school New York night, featuring a performance by Lydia Lunch, and special appearances by Honor Levy, Peter Vack, Madeline Cash, Brittany Menjivar, Erin Satterthwaite, Ryan D. Peterson, and Filip Fufezan. Afterparty: Internet Killed The Literary Star from 9pm at Gelso & Grand.

Inline links: New Millenium Boyz

Ryan Petersen1 mentions across 1 issues

Ryan Petersen is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between December 16, 2024 and December 16, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Claire Donato, Ryan Petersen, Danielle Chelosky". It most often appears alongside Allison Brainard, Altro Paradiso, Ama Birch.

Article page: Ryan Petersen
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: December 16, 2024
Last seen: December 16, 2024
Instagram handle: @ryandpetersen

Outbound links

Issue trail

Moral Framework December 16, 2024

Allison Brainard 1 shared issues
Altro Paradiso 1 shared issues
Ama Birch 1 shared issues
American Cuck 1 shared issues
Annabel 1 shared issues

Source context

December 16, 2024 · Original source

From 8pm at Seventh Heaven — Car Crash Collective hosts their Anthology Reading. Featuring Richard Hell, Katherine Faw, Geoff Rickly, Claire Donato, Ryan Petersen, Danielle Chelosky, Jade Wootton, and Em Brill.

Inline links: Car Crash Collective, Geoff Rickly, Claire Donato, Ryan Petersen, Danielle Chelosky, Em Brill

Ryan Trecartin1 mentions across 1 issues

Ryan Trecartin is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between October 06, 2025 and October 06, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Ryan Trecartin Movies; Selected Works 2009 - 2016". It most often appears alongside 720 Strength LES, 92NY, A.M. Homes.

Article page: Ryan Trecartin
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: October 06, 2025
Last seen: October 06, 2025

Outbound links

Issue trail

Big Huge World October 06, 2025

720 Strength LES 1 shared issues
92NY 1 shared issues
A.M. Homes 1 shared issues
Abel Ferrara 1 shared issues
Above Town #2 1 shared issues

Source context

October 06, 2025 · Original source

The Downtown Festival presents a series of screenings at The Roxy — at 2:30pm; Realities and Illusions - featuring works by Lily Lady, Alex O Eaton, Lisa Hammer, Andrew Norman Wilson, and more. At 5pm; Desperately Seeking Susan followed by a Q&A with filmmaker Susan Seidelman and actor Rosanna Arquette, moderated by Special Guest. At 7pm; New Rose Hotel followed by conversation with Abel Ferrara and Stephanie LaCava. At 10pm; Ryan Trecartin Movies; Selected Works 2009 - 2016

Inline links: The Downtown Festival, Realities and Illusions, Desperately Seeking Susan, New Rose Hotel, Ryan Trecartin Movies; Selected Works 2009 - 2016

Rylee Stumpf1 mentions across 1 issues

Rylee Stumpf is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between March 07, 2025 and March 07, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as "Charley Shealy, Rylee Stumpf". It most often appears alongside 127 Mulberry Street, 154 Scott BK, A Rachel Ormont Afters.

Article page: Rylee Stumpf
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: March 07, 2025
Last seen: March 07, 2025

Outbound links

https://whitneyreview.org/

Issue trail

52 Notifications From Hell March 07, 2025

127 Mulberry Street 1 shared issues
154 Scott BK 1 shared issues
A Rachel Ormont Afters 1 shared issues
Alex Both 1 shared issues
Andrew Norman Wilson 1 shared issues

Source context

March 07, 2025 · Original source

From 11pm - late at Casa Bella — Caroline Calloway, Betsey Brown, and Peter Vack present - A Rachel Ormont Afters! The prior screening at The Roxy is unfortunately sold out, but I’ll be at the afters and you should be too! Hosted by soooooo many people! Mike Crumplar, Cassidy Grady, Kareem Rahma, Nick Dove, Sierra Armor, Elena Velez, Perfectly Imperfect, Matt Weinberger, Finlay Mangan, Riska Seval, Humblesuperstar, Poorspigga, Meg Superstar Princes, Andrew Norman Wilson, Charley Shealy, Rylee Stumpf.

Rémy Bennett1 mentions across 1 issues

Rémy Bennett is a recurring person in the Collected Agenda archive, appearing 1 times across 1 issues between November 05, 2024 and November 05, 2024. The archive places it in contexts such as "Women On Their Way to Hollywood with Alex Arthur, Ambre Kelly, and Rémy Bennett". It most often appears alongside 66 Greene St, Adeline Swartzendruber, Agnes Enhtamir.

Article page: Rémy Bennett
Mention count: 1
Issue count: 1
First seen: November 05, 2024
Last seen: November 05, 2024
Instagram handle: @remy_bennett

Outbound links

Issue trail

Playing With Glass November 05, 2024

66 Greene St 1 shared issues
Adeline Swartzendruber 1 shared issues
Agnes Enhtamir 1 shared issues
Alex Arthur 1 shared issues
Alex Katz 1 shared issues

Source context