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Indulging in the Eschaton

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Indulging in the Eschaton

WHAT I DID Sunday, October 20 Russian Cosmism, as I learn in the back room of a vegan Thai restaurant in a basement off East Broadway, centers on the idea that true morality, at least in hypothetical terms, must seek to defeat death. A truly good pursuit must strive for the end of all that is bad. Russian Cosmism, of course, assumes that death is bad.

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WHAT I DID Sunday, October 20 Russian Cosmism, as I learn in the back room of a vegan Thai restaurant in a basement off East Broadway, centers on the idea that true morality, at least in hypothetical terms, must seek to defeat death. A truly good pursuit must strive for the end of all that is bad. Russian Cosmism, of course, assumes that death is bad. Therefore - it seeks immortality and to resurrect the life of everyone who has ever died. It seeks to solve the issue of finite resources with the infinite supply of the cosmos, stars, and boundless solar light, to harness eternal energy and then, through technology, make humanity eternal too. Once, I discovered Having Foresight, and to cope with continuing to smoke cigarettes, I wrote lots and lots of thoughts in my early college notebooks on Optimistic Nihilism. In retrospect, it’s a cheap idea. It’s nihilism - already cheap enough on its own - without its only redeemable facet (dread). I don’t deem self-destruction bad because most people wrongly equate a long life with a good one, but rather because it is spiritually ugly. Hedonism is not necessarily self-destructive, but empty pleasure is. A fragile sensibility of course fears suffering more than death. And so nihilism, hedonism, glee within both - I’m drawn to all of this intrinsically despite its juvenile vapidness. A friend brings coffee over this morning and we sit on the terrace. It’s not too cold yet. The terrace is dusty and I’m excited for the surface to freeze over. I tell my friend about the Russian Cosmism Reading Group I have joined, following an announcement at the Bryan Johnson Don’t Die event downtown last month. I tell her that I’m interested in the idea of defeating death because it strikes me as both spiritual and flagrantly sacrilegious. I’m inclined to find the concept terrifying, because there are so many worse things than dying that could happen during eternity. She tells me that following a former boy band pop star’s death last week, she felt really sad that she will never be a member of the 27 Club. I know that’s so fucked up, she says. At the reading group itself, the conversation centers mostly on the sun. In the text, a Russian Cosmist is arguing that sunspots control trends in human behavior. I order vegan broth. Thai iced tea. Afterwards, my boyfriend meets me at the subway station. We walk to a comedy show. We walk home. If immortality is a degradation of sanctity, then death is the culmination of a series of small degradations of everything else. It’s nice out tonight. It’s been in the high sixties for a while now. Hypothetically, it could stay like this forever. Tuesday, October 22 In Flatiron, which is a very good place for inducing things like manic episodes, I pass many strange signs. “If you’re dead you don’t know it because you aren’t here which is the same thing as if you’re stupid,” one says. It’s advertising something, but I walk by too fast to discern what. Regardless, I can’t envision a single product for which this would be very good copy. Occasionally, I wake up in the middle of the night and I truly think I am dead, but in this circumstance, there is always some logical route I am searching for through which to discern if this is true. Obviously, it never is, but the instinct implies some core belief in detached self awareness over one’s own subconscious. I read an essay I like today, wherein the author takes pride in her ability to leverage the personal as circumstantial evidence, without ever really divulging too much. “I don’t get paid enough to divulge that much,” she says. Because of course, there is loss in giving yourself away. Because secrets should be held close to your chest by default, and pulled away only through competitive transaction. I agree on principle. Perhaps can’t access in practice. Ellie and I go to Bacaro for dinner. Meet up with more friends, after. Telling secrets in a garden later, but now I can’t remember what. Thursday, October 24 There’s the Rave New World screening at Canal Projects tonight; two back to back films on rave culture in Asia - a short film by Michelle Lhooq on an underground rave in Singapore, followed by Ben Mullinkson’s feature documentary The Last Year of Darkness documenting alternative nightlife in Chengdu, China. The first is more of a traditional documentary, chronically one night out in a country that is not very conducive to going out - Singapore has the strictest drug laws in the world. The second screens like a narrative movie, the third wall breaks only once, a drag performer stands in a ball gown on the street at dawn, they get undressed, they get ready in the mirror, they meet online, they meet in a club, they meet in a warehouse, the night ends, the nights end, the years end, etc. I am trying to write something else about this, something that is not for Here because this is ultimately a diary, and this topic isn’t very diaristic. There’s a lucidity in both films that I appreciate. Raving is lucid in many senses, more so than the realms of nightlife I typically frequent. More explicit in its transgression but less explicit in its hedonism, maybe? I’ve only been to raves sober, only in Berlin, only with my sister or more often alone, and I remember those nights very clearly. Buildings like mazes and whimsical gardens and a recollection of those evenings as all very wholesome, even though the contents of the parties were explicitly, not. Regardless, that was Berlin, and when I ask Michelle Lhooq if she sees a nihilism in raving she says that yes, a bit, in places like Berlin and New York, but not really in Asia - where rebellion and novelty and stories of tradition and folklore and myth in the art of it all, gives life to something profoundly optimistic. I’m interested in drugs as something that I Cannot Do, not for lack of desire but really for sheer lack of sanity. I’m interested in California Sober as something I kind of wish was for me, but which is definitively not. Michelle Lhooq coined the term , and she describes its virality as a sign of the shifting paradigm away from alcohol but not necessarily towards asceticism, towards instead, something else. I’m interested in partying if nothing is at stake. This sounds didactic, but I mean it so sincerely - the stake of things often do give them their value, the depth of escapism lies on what you are escaping, this isn’t necessarily political but it definitely can be, etc etc etc. I run into Crumps during intermission, and I mention something about how the rave thing is all a bit foreign to me. He agrees, and mentions something about how the people we usually hang out with would probably be at a rave saying things like “hey is there a place where can we go outside and talk ”. The screenings end around ten - there’s an after party at Shinsen and I do want to go but then Ellie and I walk to get food and then the whole thing feels a little daunting and then we’re wandering past Cipriani Downtown , glittering, gauche, definitionally hedonistic with the stakes being only that of exhibitionism. I, half joking, suggest we stop for a drink, but then we’re hovering by the awning and then we’re whisked inside, seated by the bar, order one bellini each but the cups never run dry, refilled wordlessly by the Italian bartender in front of us after every other sip. Soon, the night is sparkly. Glistening with what is not all gold, but which all certainly appears as such in this parallel universe where pleasure is anticipated and met. No end in sight, I pry myself away. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Tonight : Monday, October 28 At 7pm at The Roxy — SARA’S and Dunkunsthalle present a special screening of Johnny Mnemonic in Black & White by Robert Longo, as part of their ongoing focus on the early days of the Pictures Generation. The screening will be followed by a live Q&A with Robert Longo and curator Vera Dika . From 8:30pm at Cafe Gitane — Theme Trivia hosts a Spells and Sports Night. Extra points if even one person on your team is in costume. Tuesday, October 29 From 7pm - late at Jean’s — The Thing Is hosts a stacked show and party ft Gutes , Ali Royals , Tamim Alnuweiri , Zach Schiffman , Sydnee Washington , Brandon Wardwell , and Casey Brown , DJ set by We Take Manhattan . From 8pm - 2am at Paul’s Casablanca — Baguette is back. I am intrigued by this party that has received a lot of coverage but remains shrouded in some obscure mystique. Last week, Chloe Sevigny was in attendance. From 6pm at Mercury Lounge — Susannah Joffe performs live with The Sewing Club . Come in costume - it’s a contest. Wednesday, October 30 From 7pm at KGB — 12 Questions Substack and Confessions host Horror Stories . Lots of good people reading; August Lamm , Emma Stern , Noah Kumin , Shayna Goodman , Meg Spectre , George Olesky , Gassidy Grady , Zain Khalid , Zack Graham , Annabel Boardman , Benjamin Campbell Hale , and Jonah Howell . Live music by Rebounder . Costumes encouraged. From 9pm - Late — Club Chess hosts a Mischief Night Party at a secret location in downtown Manhattan. Thursday, October 31 From 7:30pm — The Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research is throwing a Halloween Party. Readings, tarots, cool girls, dancing, crafts, trick or treating, and more. Costumes are mandatory. Afterwards, at 10pm — I’ll probably go to the Halloween party at Russian Samovar Friday, November 1 From 5pm - 7pm — Company gallery celebrates the opening of solo exhibitions by painter Sergio Miguel and multimedia performance duo SCRAAATCH From 7pm - 11pm — Sovereign House hosts a screening of The Legend of Lami . An anonymous source describes this as “a documentary about murdered seasteading businessman who was diplomat for Liberia” From 10pm - 3am — Lantern is throwing an NYC theme Halloween party . Sponsored by Lantern Beverages , Topo Chico , Mizu Sochu , Okinawa Gin , Peter Pan Donuts and others – “Come dressed as your favorite New York City character or as Jojo Siwa, either is fine” I never go to Basement but in the spirit of this week’s substack, I’m considering attending the Brooklyn rendition of Japan’s Rural Festival , which has carried on a 16 year tradition of psychedelic techno and camping in Central Japan. Saturday, November 2 At 8pm at 1627 Broadway ( PWA Times Square ) — Blake Robbins presents a performance of Public Visitations, ft performances by Adrienne Reenblatt , Alina Jacobs , Adeline Swartzendruber , and Blake Robbins . Sunday, November 3 From 8pm at Seventh Heaven — Forever Magazine celebrates the launch of Issue Seven. Festivities include a hot dog eating contest, a wet tee-shirt contest, and no readings!

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